Disclaimer: This post has NO expert advice. Just me! Not talking about anyone, just random situations. PLEASE don't try to fit yourself into the following post. So don't start calling my phone or sub tweeting. It's not worth it. If I'm wrong, tell me I'm wong! Here it goes...
When it comes to sex there are TWO types of men. Man WHORES and Retired Man whores. If you never been a whore then you haven't became a man yet. I honestly think it's a mandated "man thing" that we have to go through. The difference is one has the ability to say no. Female- "Hey baby. What you doing, you want to come over?" Response 1: "Hell yea... baby. I just started my car when you called."<---- CURRENT Man whore. Why? Because being a current Man whore is like playing Spades. You play to WIN. Numbers are very important. (Maybe too much info? If you think so, stop reading. *shrug*) Response 2: "Damn baby... ummm... I have to go to work in the morning. Call you when I get up."<----Retired Man whore! Why? Because the opportunity WILL come up again. This guy has learned patience and not to stress it. Or maybe he is like ME!
I confidently speak for all of the RETIRED Man whores when I say, "Sex is not that big of a deal." And let me explain... Wait for it... Wait for it... Number one, Niggas don't get as deep into sex as females do. We really can't. Naturally it's only so far we can go. You ever had a female tell you, "Dang babe, my stomach hurt. I HATE you." Then kiss you passionately. Yes... This is VERY confusing. You hate me? But you kissing me like I'm bout to go back on tour. Ok... If you have NEVER heard this, DON'T admit to it! Just smile and nod...
But seriously... Once you tried EVERY restaurant in the world, you will eventually get to the point that "food" isn't that exciting anymore. You start to look for something with substance. Don't make sex more than what it is. Time is what confuses people. When you spend so much time with a person to where sex is more of a bonus then you can play with the wording a little and call it "making love" or blah, blah, blah. But sex is JUST sex. I PROMISE... For me, sex is a natural Tylenol or Nyquil. I stay ripping and running so much, sometimes I can't sleep. But if I bust one, I can curl up like a little bitty baby... Matter fact, I was on http://www.nastynemphoez.com/ and I found my Christmas gift. Double D Debbie. I can program her to say, "Welcome home Jay. I'm ready." in FOUR different languages!
SPANISH- Dé la bienvenida en casa Jay. Estoy listo
FRENCH- Jay bienvenu de maison. Je suis prêt
PORTUGUESE- Jay doméstico bem-vindo. Eu estou pronto
CHINESE- 受歡迎家用的傑伊。我是準備就緒的
However females and males interpret sex in different ways. But to keep from getting hurt COMMUNICATION is the key! Ladies- If you don't ask or TELL the guy what you all are doing then the sex is JUST sex. But the problem is that many females think their P**** deserves a Blue Ribbon Award. ---->*hoodrat voice*, "Like, once he gets a taste of this pumpkin pie then he won't even want anything else." Uhhh... WRONG! And now... (Deep breath) He's beating your back in and you're falling back in, LOVE and backin' him into a corner hoping he will say, "I love you too" and he's screaming "BACK tha F*&^ UP!"
-whew-
All because you all were not on the same page. And this nigga did you wrong?? You didn't tell him nothing. A steak was on the table with steak sauce AND silverware. And the homeless guy that hasn't ate in three days kills it. But when he done, you gaurd the door with the check in your hand. WHOA! You HAVE to talk! And MEAN what you say... If you bait a nigga by saying (The following line KILLS me) "Don't even look at me like that. I'm comfortable with you. So, if we do it, then that's just what it is. I care about my life and I know you wouldn't put me in danger. I know you living your life. And I'm living mine. But I promise, NO strings attached." F*&^%$ LIES!!!! Don't say it if you don't mean it. I can't give an explanation to why females expect more to develop from sex because I'm not a female. If you can help me out, by all means comment below.
But for NIGGAS... (Ahem). Alot of niggas are sensitive!!!! And we fool ourselves by thinking that sex makes it all better. Hear me out. Wait for it... Wait for it... PERFECT example. You have a female you REALLY feeling. And you happen to be The CREW (refer to other blog), you try to shrug the ish off saying, "Man... I'm killing these other hoes, so I ain't even trippin on her like that." LIES! And if you are good at the "playing the game" then the chick that you want doesn't KNOW anything. So, how dumb do you REALLY feel? Because she ONLY sees YOU putting in ALL this effort and she STILL isn't feeling you like that. My advice... Chill on that trifling ish. Bc that's the easiest escape route for the one you care about. She is going to to say, "OOOO... So, you care about me? You loooovvveee me? But f-in' BeBe?" And you are DONE! The harsh reality about "playing games" is SUUMMMBODY has to LOSE!
Summary:
1.) Communicate
2.) Don't complicate things with spending time. Friends with benefits? Bust and put back on your clothes. 3.) Don't take my advice
4.) Wait till I post my next blog
~Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
so true. Brothas need to stop playing games, and females need to stop thinking they got the bomb.com. Be upfront with each other, and females stop lying saying, "I normally don't do this!"
ReplyDeleteLOL...I do agree that females tend to expect moe from guys once we give up our goodies when we should have had it established in the first place what it is and what it's not..but guys also need to let it be known from the beginning..if it's going to be a sexual act and that's it then there should be NO communication unless it's about that..no hanging out, no i miss you texts, no just seeing what's up..NOTHING..and if one person starts to like another then the relationship should just end right there because it is only going to cause confusion and hurt feelings..probably on the females part and it will be a whole lot of drama for both.
ReplyDeleteDukes I really liked this, it made me go read some of your other blogs... Keep writing being young and reading stuff life this makes me think especially coming from a males perspective... Keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Jay! Okay, I agree that guys need to stop playing games ..however that goes for women too. I think the whole "friends with benefits" things is a load of crap, unfortunately it will start of that way..but somebody is gonna catch feelings and end up get'n hurt. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I do believe that whatever type of "friendship" you have or want should be established from the jump ..not after the line has already been crossed. It's the point of no return and it's too late, now you can't go back. Communication is the key ..I'm even gonna say it's more important than trust and honesty. I say that because a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings could have been avoided ..if you had TALKED from the jump. But some guys are so caught up with themselves and their image, pride or whatever, get'n all up in their feelings or expressing them doesn't really happen. And then you have those that will only tell you what you wanna hear..thus leading to even bigger problems. Cut out all the nicknames that you call every gurl and tells us how you really feel ..and let us be the judge of if we wanna stick around and deal with that or move on to greener pastures. And if you never had any intentions on being anything other than friends with benefits, just kick'n it, seeing where it goes..whatever ..quit giving us so much attention, spending major quality time, saying you care about us when you don't ..all tht BS because the list could go on! But wait women aren't innocent either ..we have just as much fault. Practically throwing the vagina at a dude ..then get mad when he did exactly what u wanted him to do. If u wanted more thn sex from him ..probably shoulda been str8 up abt it. Plus we gotta stop think'n that sex cures everything ..whn in fact ..it only makes things worse. You can't have a sex with a guy day one ..then expect him to respect ya in the morning ..this ain't the movies! Believe it or not ..most dudes aren't even into the club scene and all tht anymore ..not saying they ready to settle down either ..but they are looking for a little something extra. The best way to get over old vagina/penis ..is to get some new vagina/penis. And if that is ALL you have to offer ..then ..you certainly DON'T have much.
ReplyDelete#cosign Wise words...both women and men play too many games. Women are emotional creatures. When they attempt to give the friends with benefits a try they either want a relationship or become emotionally damaged. Playing games only leads to someone getting hurt. But sometimes men have to see the grass isn't always greener on the other side to appreciate what they have. You're right Honesty and commmication is the way to go (@ConDEUCEve)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBruh, first I must say you aren't an expert but you are definitely ON POINT with these blogs!! Keep them coming, and keep up the good work!! My opinion about this particular blog is that women should expect what they accept because a man can only do what we allow them to do. If either parties know that they are not good at "playing a role" then they should not take the position. Most times women get into a "situation" or REALTIONship knowing what the business is from the jump street, yet thinking "I'll be able to change him" or "eventually he'll leave everybody else alone and be with only me." Sometimes WE (including myself because I've been there too) take it so far as to say, "he's in love with me he just has an image to uphold." NO, it is exactly what y'all said it was from the beginning until the TWO of you make a COMMITMENT...and if nothing was said in the beginning, then don't expect nothing because nothing from nothing leaves NOTHING. On the flip side, I do agree that the guys should stop spending so much quality time, demanding things from the females that only complicates an already complicated situation, telling lies because they think it's what we want to hear, taking them home to meet the family, introducing her to your friends as "the one" or "your ....," showing emotions when you see her talking to someone else, or even "blocking" when she's in the club doing her own thing. Personally, I used to be one of those females that could accept being just friends w/ benefits..as long as I was being benefited as much as he was. But, things got out of hand and surprisingly the nigga flipped the script. Suddenly, he was in love w/ me, I was "wrong" whenever I did my thing yet he slept w/ or did whatever w/ who he wanted too whenever he wanted too, I was even "wrong" when I no longer accepted the "situation"..especially wrong when I let go of the "what wasn't" to move on to the what is. However, IT WAS NOTHING FROM THE START, we never said it was anything so again NOTHING from nothing left NOTHING.I did it while it was convenient and when it became an inconvenience I exited. It's as simple as that ladies and gents. Say what it is and if nothing is said then don't imply anything. If he/she "dogs" you because you're busy making assumptions, blame YOURSELF because you were the one who tried to make something out of nothing..the other party was just fulfilling his/her initial intentions.
ReplyDeleteWooooo weeeeee! Look at these long comments. I'm happy. Glad to bring up and discuss topics that WE care about. Thank yall.
ReplyDeleteWow lol! in a weird, crazy way, this post actually made sense. Congrats on ur blog Dukes! I know a few guys who could benefit from reading this!
ReplyDelete