All About Timing

Just because the biggest celebration to ever hit SC is THIS Friday, December 9^th at Club Miami in Greenville, SC doesn’t mean I don’t like to blog… Oh, and it’s called The 2^nd Annual Celebrity Birthday Bash. Hosted by Josh Dawkins and some guy named Jay Dukes. Spoken Reasons, Mr. Collipark, Keedar Whittle, Qu3pid, Translee and 4-4 Water will all be in the building. And you guessed it, that has NOTHING to do with this post. Welp… Here it goes:

I have NO clue where I’m going with this blog, but I’m just writing.
So many people fall into situations or get trapped in situations for the wrong reasons. If a person is still involved with their ex, then RUN!!!! Male or female. I haven’t seen one, NOT ONE, successful relationship come from a person who is begging for “help” to get over somebody… YES… it has happened to me. More than ONCE!!!!

Scenario…

Guy meets girl.

Girl expresses that she’s in a relationship, but it’s not going that well… OR she JUST, I mean JUST, broke up w/ her ex. ß - Those two are the same thing!
Guy says something smooth.
They exchange numbers.
Good conversation/Sex/Outings ß -- All the same.

Nobody wants to feel like their “waiting around” for anybody. So, ladies in order to fill that void, you all find someone to “occupy your time” until he “comes to his senses”. (I’m assuming here. If I’m wrong, tell me if I’m wrong)

Word of advice to ANYBODY seeking a relationship or whatever. Do NOT give your whole heart until you have at least a piece of the other person’s. It’s kind of like establishing any friendship. You can tell when a person just listens, listens and listens, but doesn’t say anything. That’s a red flag to me. Because you are giving all of this information without really knowing the person. And nobody should ever plan on being spiteful, but if some ish hits the fan, then you are in no position to fight fire with fire. You have NOTHING…

But the CRAZIEST thing to me is… filling that void I spoke of earlier, is a temporary replacement. And you may not know it, but she does. Watch this… it ONLY goes down two ways.

1.) Female who was in a “perfect” relationship, but it didn’t work out.

Now, you come along and you happen to be a “perfect” guy. WRONG timing. That ish only happens in fairy tales. This female is going to be in disbelief. “Na un… Can’t be true”. And to be real, nine times out of ten THIS female wants this temporary replacement to dog her out. Why? Because it fuels her aggression and gives her more validity to the statement, “N****s ain’t ish!” So, every little thing you do is a RED FLAG because that’s what she needs right now. She doesn’t really want a healed heart. She wants somebody to aid her hurting one. And the easiest thing to do is fall back into your comfort zone… If your ex really loved you, they will ALWAYS be willing to listen and be there. Just too bad they want to be so caring now at the expense of someone else‘s feelings. *shrugs* It happens people…

2.) Female who wasn’t getting enough attention, so she “let it go”

You never know what you got until it’s gone! There are females who will purposely fall soooo quick “in love” and think that’s just the way it is. We not dumb ladies. With any female who speeds up the necessary process of getting to know someone, re-evaluate things. Jumping from “Hey, my name is” to “Damn bae, what we doing?” is a RED FLAG! Why? If a female is “gone” then ole’ dude will wise up and start back trying again… I promise you! And females know that too. It just sad that females need someone else to “occupy their time” to create that illusion. Being shorted or ignored by a female automatically makes a nigga think, “She’s with someone else”. Females love communication. Pause: A female that is not comfortable enough to communicate with you is NOT feeling you. Play: So, by taking that communication away implies that you are communicating with someone else (A nigga). Ladies: Try this ish… Instead of USING someone else as a cry for attention, just play the part. That nigga call, don’t pick up. Be short on the phone. He call again, hit ignore and text “Wat up?” I PROMISE you, it will drive that nigga CRAZY… Now you have the leverage. So, when YOU want to talk, talk. Until then, be “gone”.

But to tie it back in, I personally feel as though the best relationships are not planned. They just happen. When you rush or manipulate, you short yourself and hurt someone in the process… And more than likely, that someone is you.

Summary:

1.) THIS Friday get to Club Miami in Greenville, SC
2.) blah, blah…
3.) Don’t take my advice
4.) Just let it flow, but first let it go…
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

Exclusive Interview with @Qu3pid

The 2nd Annual Celebrity Birthday Bash will be SICK!  Stupid Crazy!  Another #EPICevent!  Hosted by: JOSH DAWKINS and JAY DUKES!  Dj T. Mobile is spinning LIVE!  Along with Youtube Superstar- Spoken Reasons, BET's Hell Date Actor/Comedian- Keedar Whittle, Mr. Collipark's Brand New Artist-Translee, and 864's own 4-4 Water... The bruh QU3PID WILL be in the building!  I know yall have heard of him!  Check him out and get to know him.  So much respect for this bruh and his grind!  #Salute! 

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar" qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

Genuine Love vs. Crazy In Love

Disclaimer: LOL… I’m already laughing because the craziest things happen to me. No lie! I love the LOVE that Dj T. Mobile and myself are receiving from Winthrop University. Yes, all the #WUHOMECOMINGSTEPSHOW tweets are because we will be there Saturday to shut the show DOWN! And yerp, you guessed it… That has NOTHING to do with this post. *shrugs* Here it goes… 

People get confused! That’s the bottom line… 

*In my n&^^% voice* “Why tha F*&^ you tweeting that n*&&^?” <--- Crazy in Love

*In my concerned voice* “Babe, you haven’t tweeted all day and you didn’t call me this morning. You ok?”  <----- Genuine Love

But, what’s love to you? That’s a difficult ass word to describe. Everybody has their different perceptions of what that word really means. It’s hard to see a person in a situation that is killing them and you can’t do anything about it. Brother Singleton told me, “The most powerful thing in the world is a made up mind.” Once you have it made up in your mind that you are in Love with a person that’s it… You might as well hang it up. So, you try to hold on and hold on. But for what though? Just because your significant other loves you? I think #thatshitcray.

 

Pause: Fellas, Ladies… whatever… Listen to me clearly! STOP F*&^%N’ beating yourself up over mistakes you made in the PAST! That pisses me off! I hate it! I hate it! Let it GOOOO! You don’t owe anybody ANYTHING who has decided to stick in there with you. Perfect example: You are out to eat at Dukes’ Elegant Bistro (It’s coming… shut up!) and there is hair in your food. *In my hood rat voice* “Ooooo… F*&^ NO! Can I see the manager please…” As the manager, I apologize and tell you your meal is free… As the manager, that’s IT! I gave you a free meal, you ACCEPTED the free meal! You left happy. I go back to work! BUT… You come BACK to my restaurant! You order a steak well done and it’s not cooked all the way… As the manager, I’m NOT going to keep giving you FREE ish! For some reason my cook don’t like you! I’m sorry. BUT if you keep deciding to come back, then you like SOMETHING about my restaurant. It can’t be the food (Fellas- her attitude or Ladies- a dude who plays Madden and ignores you on the phone) but it’s something! It’s some reason that you keep coming back and sitting at table 62 and ordering exactly two croissants and water with no lemon while you wait. Play:

 

If your significant other is ready to call it off every time you all hit a rough patch, then one day you have to really see if it was love or not. And females, yall are TERRIBLE with basing your feelings off of your man’s reactions. We have always heard, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for”. But I thought you fought your enemies. I have never heard about a war where the troops fought against each other. Too many females get up, grab their stuff and head to the door thinking, “I’m going to this door and this Motha’ F*&^$# BETTER stop me!” Really? Really ma’am?

 

If you grab your keys and your hoe bag and head straight to the door yelling, “I can’t do this anymore. Whatever. I’m done!” Then me jumping up and racing you to the door saying, “What? You ain’t going NO WHERE! What’s wrong with you?” sounds CRAZY… <---- Crazy In Love. Genuine Love is allowing a person to make their own decisions hoping that they will include you in them. Genuine Love is wanting your lady to be happy at whatever cost that may be. Don’t put on a fake smile because I’m jumping for joy, but you are really miserable inside. If you are man enough to tell a lady, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me…” Then you are CRAZY because now you are looking like a dumb ass. But you WILL be rewarded for being a real and GENUINE person. How a person feels can and will change; but their characteristics and who they really are won‘t.

 

Summary:

 

1.) Really think about what love is to you…

2.) Can’t really think of anything else.

3.) Don’t take my advice.

4.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

What's The Next Step?!

If you’re not progressing, then you are just existing. On Nicki Minaj’s- Moment For Life, Drake said, “Everybody dies, but not everybody lives!” And that is so true and real! Are you living, enjoying life to the fullest, or just existing? I’m out here LIVING! In case you haven’t heard, I’m doing comedy now. I’m getting good people! I like it! But it’s a challenge, and I like a challenge.

Yall know I write these blogs and go off on Twitter (jaydukes1911). But, I’ve always thought, what if I did stand-up? I could be good? But I’m doing stand-up with the next step in mind. In entertainment, you have to do what you love. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE hosting! ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! Love entertaining people and making sure they have a good time. I love the stage, I love the mic, I love the limelight. But with hosting, how much income is that really, if you are JUST a host? It’s not bad… But if I want to be “working” in the entertainment industry, I need stability. If you ask somebody, “What do you do?” and they respond, “I host shows.”, you’re next question is, “Oh really? Like what?” Trust me, I have this conversation every week. Just as a host alone, that title does NOT have enough pull until you get on 106 and Park or something like that. Even though I’m good, I still have to sell myself to people who have never heard of me before.

Also, I did NOT leave North Carolina A&T comfortable in my performance. I think I did “OK”, but I need GREAT shows! Consistent! Great! I am a perfectionist. Song selections were good, compliments of DJ T. Mobile, but they were feeling jokes A WHOLE lot more than vibing to the music. I thought they were going to be party-walking the whole night! And I told a couple jokes, but my confidence wasn’t there. A comedian once told me, the only way you will get better with telling jokes and or doing stand-up is to GET ON A STAGE! At least three times a week. Every night if you can! Live on the stage! Because as a dude with an ego, you think EVERYTHING you say is funny. Not the case. You want to find out what’s universally funny and not just funny to you!

So, that’s what I did! I did my FIRST show in Anderson, SC and BOMBED!!!! Did terrible! Too many filler words, wasn’t confident in the material and was ALL over the place. I went back and prepared for my next show. Really put in work and a lot of practice. I drove to ATLANTA that next Wednesday to perform at Keedar Whittle’s, from BET’s Hell Date, room. I did “ok”. I actually got boo’ed by ONE dude. But he boo’ed the dude in from of me too, so people told me he was just being an asshole. Drove BACK to Atlanta that next week and did the same room. That show felt good! I was confident and lots of laughs. So, I really have been working! Going to Atlanta every week to get better and I can see the progression.

Yesterday, I performed with Keedar and Finesse Mitchell at The Comedy House in Columbia, SC. I did “ok” again. I could feel that I was WAAAYYYYY… too nervous though. And I wouldn’t calm down for anything. I should’ve took a nap or something before! Lol… Big S/O to my brother, cuzzo, and all The Claflinites in the building. Was A LOT of love. But hey, I’m working HARD and continuing to get better! I must say, that’s one thing I like about entertainment, if you work hard at it, you WILL get out what you put in. But prayer comes first, because God will allow you to cross paths with that person who can catapult your career. Ma Dukes always tells me, “God’s favor ain’t fair! Put it in his hands.” So, I said all that to say, I’m STILL hosting shows, I’m STILL doing radio… And you guessed it, Comedy is… my… NEXT STEP! But I will get to the point where I’m GREAT before I put it in my bio. Keep supporting the movement people!

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

This Is Just My Opinion. Am I Wrong?

Disclaimer: I know Saundra is going to kill me for not helping her with the Facebook and Twitter ad pages for Winthrop's Homecoming Step Show that is on Saturday, November 12th. I be busy...  But, Yes... I'm hosting. And YES... Dj T. Mobile is spinning! And you guessed it... that has NOTHING to do with the following post:

This is just how I feel.  I apologize in advance if I offend anybody.  But why hold on to your ex when you have moved on? 

Answer: You never moved on. 

Or wait, think about it...  How did yall break up?  Was it abrubt with several angry and hateful emotions?  If so, that was BAD in reference to "moving on".  I feel that it's better for a break up if it's a situation where things are, "just not the same" and yall call it off.  Over time those hurtful feelings will fade.  But it will take time.  A LONG time.

But with an abrubt break up, it's kind of like hanging up on a person or losing signal.  You were so upset or offended that you didn't even feel the need to say what else you wanted to say.  But that still doesn't mean that you FORGOT what you wanted to say.  Once you get back on the phone, the first thing you say is what?  "Like I was saying..."

So, when going through a break up, it quickly puts a cap on a whole heap of things.  Like your emotions, good or bad, your feelings and your memories.  As long as that cap stays on, you can fake like what's inside of that "bottle" is no longer there.  But they didn't go anywhere.  They didn't fade away over time because it's kind of like time stopped.  You need answers, you want answers.  And the ONLY person you can get those answers from is THAT person.

Deciding to contact that person, or STAY in contact with that person, is opening up that bottle again.  Is it worth it?  And dudes should not be insecure to the point of, "I don't want you talking to that nigga!"  BUT... it does present a red flag.  If you don't understand or think it's sooooo not a big deal, then you have just prioritized "your team".  Your ex slash current nigga (because he never really left) is still Jordan and your new boo is Lebron James.  Even though Lebron is making money and getting everything he wants, don't you think he gets tired of hearing, "You will NEVER be Jordan because you ain't got no rings!"  That ish can get depressing.  Doing all you can to show that you deserve to be a great in the game, but your own coach is still auditioning for better players.  Gets old...  and frustrating.  Especially when you realize, "There are other niggas playing on this SAME team? They made it?  AHHHH... HELL NAH...!  They better not be making the same salary as me!  Man... I don't even want to know...  Here's my jersey.  But I'm keeping this hoodie and these shoes."    

Summary:

1.) F&^% the summary
2.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"



   

N*&&^$ Winning Grammy's Outchea

Disclaimer: Winthrop University!!!! We coming to YOU Saturday, November 12th! Dj T. Mobile and myself are coming to SHUT ISH DOWN! And of course… that has NOTHING to do with this post! Welp… Here it goes!

Currently rapping in my gangster voice, “Hoes gon’ be hoes, but Pros get Chose!” < ---- That’s my remix. And by Pros, I mean PROFESSIONALS! Not necessarily the females who can ride better than a cowgirl, or (you know). But I am referring to ACTRESSES! And for the ladies, ACTORS! I have NO doubt in my mind that 9 out of 10 females have fell for an actor. N*&&^$ winning Grammy’s outchea man! I lie to you NOT!

And you know the movie’s almost over when you start noticing stuff you didn’t see earlier in the movie. Like you notice that the neighbor always pokes his head out from behind the bushes before somebody dies! *see neighbor*

*hear scream*

*lights flicker*

“Ahhhh ish, the B*&^% is dead?! WTF?!”

So to put it in prospective, ladies in scenes 1-5 you used to tell your homegirls,

“And girl it is SOOOOOO sexy how his lips glisten when he talks to me…”

But now closer to the end of the movie…

“Ugh…. Wh-What is that? Did you forget to swallow? Why is all this slob on the corner of ya mouth? You look like a retard. Wipe ya damn mouth! You not going in here with me like that!”

*throws napkin*

*fade to Black*

“Psst! Psst! We’re running out of film Dukes, bring it HOME!”

“What? So soon? That sucks! Ok…”

As an aspiring actor myself, I know that it’s bad to pigeon hole yourself into one typical role. No matter how long you study for a part and perfect the character; after the cameras stop, you go back to being YOURSELF!

I say all that to say, a dude will only ACT like he cares about you for so long. He will only ACT like he can’t stop thinking about you for so long. Or on the other hand… He will only ACT like he’s NOT feeling you “like that” for SO LONG!

So, CUT THE CAMERAS! Once you actually cut the cameras and realize that the credits are rolling, then you might possibly see that they weren’t acting this whole time. And whether you love the outcome of the movie or not, you already bought your ticket and sat through their whole performance. So, SUCK IT UP! It’s YOUR choice on how you want to leave the theater. 1.) Happy. 2.) In disbelief. 3.)Amazed at how well they put on this grand performance. 4.) Ready for a sequel… (Oh… And I think the WORST sequels are when they don’t use the same cast. But it happens… *shrugs* Sometimes adjustments have to be made to please The Director.) Just in case you DIDN’T know… You are The Director of your life’s movie!

Summary:

1.) Hoes Gon’ Be Hoes…

2.) Females don’t like being seen with retarded dudes

3.) Retarded is not a nice word. I meant “special”

4.) Don’t take my advice

5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

Kingsten Thompson- Lil' Michael

I’m just happy that I am related to this talented guy. The first time I saw him dance was in the barbershop. I get my hair cut by Big J at International Hairport. The same shop where Calvin and Macio cut. Macio was cutting this little boy’s hair. I looked to the left and I saw my older cousin, Ralesha. I asked her, “That’s ya lil’ man?”

“Yea… Kingsten. That’s your cousin. Say hey.”

He put his hand up to block his mouth and said, “Psst… Psst… Mama… I don’t know him!”

“Yes, you do! That’s your cousin. Well… That’s your cousin.”

“Ok, mama!”

After that Calvin told me to play Michael Jackson from my phone WHILE I was getting my haircut. Ummm… No sir! I’m not doing too much moving around. Can I wait till I’m finished? And I’m VERY confused. Because what was soooo urgent that I had to play Michael Jackson NOW being that I’m in the chair and my little cousin is in the chair. Then *lightbulb*! Calvin wanted to pay Macio back for giving him Hell all the time when he has to cut little kids hair. But why Michael? Still confused?

This little guy, who was three at the time, knows how to look up Youtube videos himself. He goes on Youtube and searches for Michael Jackson and studies him for HOURS! He knows EVERY song and EVERY dance move. Once he got out of the chair, I played, “Bad” from my phone. My barber and myself were blown away because he was doing the EXACT same moves from the video. Walking through the subway and simulating jumping over guard rails and all. It was an amazing site to see!

So, knowing me, I thought of a GREAT idea! I wonder if he will put on a show like this in front of THOUSANDS of people? I called his mom a couple of days later to inquire about taking the little star on the road. She said she would ask him. Later that night around 10pm I got a call, but it was HIM. Kingsten! With his mom in the background,

“Now… what did you have to tell Jay?”

He response was, “Don’t make me beat you up because you ugly!”

“SON!”

“I mean… And I want to do Michael Jackson on the stage! But not a lotta lotta people. Just a little lotta people! No more than a THOUSAND! Ok?”

I replied, “Yes sir Mr. Thompson!”

And he REALLY is already a star! On the way, he told me that he wasn’t going to do it because I bought him a red jacket. “Maaaaa… Michael don’t have on a red jacket in the Bad video! And… he don’t have on church shoes.” lol… I had to bribe the lil’ dude with Hot Cheetos! But here it is… His debut in front of 8-THOUSAND people! Other shows we go to won’t be NEARLY as many people!

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"        

Shopping Habits= Relationship Habits

Shopping Habits= Relationship Habits

Disclaimer: Number one, I’m not a female so this may be A LITTLE off! But if I’m wrong, tell me I’m wrong. Speaking of shopping… I have to go cop something for Friday! GHOE2011! Going in like I’m on punishment! #tooeasy. Welp… Here it goes:

The whole shopping around theory is a way of life. It’s not just looking for clothes, but I have come to find out that it is a mentality. Follow me…

When females go shopping for a dress they walk around and look. The saleswoman pops out, seems like from the ceiling and asks, “Can I help you with anything?” And you say, “Nah… Just looking.” She responds, “Well… are you looking for anything in particular?” And you say, “Nah… I’ll know it when I see it!”- T.D. Jakes. But I want to take it a step further…

Ladies, when trying to understand fellas, think about your wack ass shopping habits! Pause: I am NOT a shopper. If I like it, I buy it. So, please take note that a “date” is not me tagging along with you to look for an outfit for the concert next week. Kill me now! Play:

When you finally do see “that dress”, you stop and marvel at it. Ooooo… Ahhh… Ahhhh… Oooooo… And you go to the saleswoman and say, “Now… That one *pointing up* is nnniiicccceeee…” And after you already showed interest, the saleswoman asks little dumb questions, “Oh… really? You like it?”

“B*&^% are you stupid? I said it was nice!” But the reason she asked that was because she has to get up out of her seat, grab that pole and stand on her tippy-toes to get that ish. So, if you have NO intention of buying it, then say so NOW! And I’ve seen this ish FIRST HAND! She even makes small talk on the way to the wall to take the dress down to give you ANOTHER chance to say, “no”. And you STILL put on like this is “the dress” you are definitely leaving with. She takes it down! You go try it on! Snap a pic and send it to your homegirl! Put back on your clothes and walk around with that SAME dress in hand looking at other ish for THIRTY f*&^#n’ minutes! Didn’t see anything better, didn’t find a better package AT ALL! But right before you put it on the counter, *light bulb* (gasps) they might have this same dress in H&M. So, you hand it back to her. Leave Express… And the dress you spent sooo much F*&^$n’ time with goes BACK on the wall!!!! Ain’t that a B*&^%!?!?!?!?! And you go to H&M (STILL making me tag alone) and see the EXACT SAME dress! WTF?! Pause: I just HAVE to speak up now, “Babe, that’s the EXACT SAME dress!” “Na unnn… It got ruffles on the strap!” Man… #kill yourself! Play: *looks at tag* “Oooo…. Nooo… this is over-priced. Babe, I got to go BACK to Express!” “You know what? I’m in the car!”

But check: Females- if you find yourself in a situation, think about what the F*&^ you did to that dress! Karma is a B**&^! Fellas treat relationships just how yall shop! Seriously… And it goes a little something like this.

Boy Sees Girl- “Damn she bad!”

Boy hollers at the saleswoman (her homegirl)-

“Who dat? Tell her to come here. She’s Niiiccceee… ”

“You sure? You like her?”

“B*&^% are you listening?! I said she’s nice!”

“Welllllllll… Just so you know she just broke up wit ole boy, so she not looking to play games.”

-silence-

Boy shows interest- Takes the time to introduce himself, time passes, posts pictures all over Facebook and walks hand in hand for months while simultaneously looking around for a better package.

Boy is disappointed- Didn’t find ANYTHING better, but maybe… just maybe… if I take a little more time to look…

Boy frees himself from the ALMOST commitment- A little time passes and you run into a lady with the same ambition, same drive, cute face AND allergic to lace fronts! BUT… she got a fat ass (ruffles on the strap). BINGO! *looks at the price* WTF? Why is this ish so HIGH? Cause the B*&^% smokes weed! #FAIL!

Boy returns to YOU- Oh my… it’s only been a couple months, why are you on the clearance rack already? Not a good look. So, obviously something is wrong with you now. You should have kept yourself up. And ladies, seeing ish on Clearance doesn’t REALLY excite you that much unless you absolutely LOVED that dress. Cause you had it all planned out! That dress was $80 when you left. Now it’s only $30. But you planned on spending $80 ANYWAY… so why not just buy a brand new dress?! If it makes sense to you, it makes sense to us!

Summary:

1.) A date is playing Time Crisis 3, NOT shopping!

2.) I try to keep it real.

3.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

4.) Please don’t take my advice.

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

Go Get IT!!!!

Disclaimer: I’m going back to North Carolina A&T on Friday to finish the promotional video! See you there! And NEXT Friday, October 14th is the show! Too excited and Spongebob ready! Does that info have anything to do with this post? Of course NOT! Welp… Here it goes:

Everybody has that person in their family who has problems. Whether it’s the crackhead, alcoholic or abusive husband. My dad was (maybe still is… not sure) all three. I’m telling you all this because I have nothing better to talk about. Lol. But at the end of the day, that’s still my dad. I bet yall didn’t know that my dad is a disabled veteran. For Undergrad I could have went to ANY State school for FREE. But I chose Claflin, which is a private institution. That n**** was MMMMMAAAAADDDDD!!!! Because I decided to help my mom pay out of pocket instead of taking a free ride. I worked my butt off and got an academic scholarship starting my Sophomore year till graduation. I went and got it!

Sometimes that’s the stance you have to take. “I gotta go get it!” Everybody has a comfort zone. For you to man up or woman up takes you out of that comfort zone. 9 times out of 10, when you challenge yourself, only then do you find your true potential. I preach to yall all the time about not being complacent. But to be honest, it’s time I take my own advice. Analyzing my life, I have excelled at things that I wanted to do! Very very selfish of me! It’s more than just doing what you have to do, to do what you want to do at this point. Now the goal is to CHALLENGE myself. Here is my checklist:

1.) Goal- I want to be an avid blogger. Steps to get there- Blog EVERYDAY.

2.) Goal- I want to have my Youtube poppin. Steps to get there- New video EVERY week!

3.) Goal- I want to do stand-up comedy. Steps to get there- Get on a stage at least two nights a week.

Those are SOME of my goals that I should currently work on. PLEASE check up on me and watch me grow. Have you set goals? Are you challenging yourself and preparing for that next step? STAY ready! So, when someone asks you, “You ready to do this?” You can answer, “I’ve BEEN ready!” Because if you are the guy or girl who is always fixin’ to or bout to then you will probably will get left. Get ready right now! Not now, but RIGHT NOW! Being ready and waiting on an the opportunity is better than missing the opportunity because you weren’t ready.

Summary:

1.) You probably have a crackhead in your family too.
2.) Claflin stand the f- up!
3.) Set goals and put them on paper where you can see them!
4.) Don’t take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

I’m a PROFESSIONAL!!!!

Disclaimer: North Carolina A&T’s Homecoming Step Show is NEXT Friday, October 14^th! Hosted by JAY DUKES! Dj T. Mobile IS on the 1’s and 2’s. Already prepared a KILLER show. Just perfecting it now! And you guessed it… That has NOTHING to do with this post! Welp… Here it goes:

The following words from Drake’s “Headlines” ring in my head as it gets closer to different Homecoming dates! “They saying I’m back, I’d agree with that. I had someone tell me I fell off ooo I needed that… I used to exaggerate things, now I got it like that…” Give or take some words/lines.

Above all, actually accepting the fact that you have moved to another level in life is more difficult than you think. Back at Claflin, which was two years ago- “Let it go boo boo! That was Undergrad” haha, I hosted our Que-Pollos and interviewed Bow Wow and Big Kuntry King and hosted The National Pre-Alumni Council Conference for 2 consecutive years AND... Our chapter brought in Sheryl Lee Ralph to speak for our Women’s Appreciation Week. So, I was like BAM, I am THE man! Woot! Woot! #leigo!!!! However, thinking about it, it’s easy to shine as an outgoing student. To look at somebody and say, “Let Dukes do it, I heard he “ok”. Then to their surprise, I put on a not “ok”, but “good” performance. Just like battle rappers in school. You might be the hottest at your school, but then a guy at another school is just as good or better than you. And you will NEVER know if there is someone better than you if you surround yourself with “yes men”!

And I don’t try to feed yall any BS. I keep it 100% on here. No, I’m not a celebrity YET, I’m a grinder! I love what I do. It’s like a sport to me! EVERY show is the Superbowl! But I constantly train and practice. I analyze the film from the last game and correct those mistakes for the next. I have ZERO percent contentment in my body. The day I feel like I have a perfect show and I don’t need to add ANYTHING else or switch it up, I will QUIT! My Clemson show SUCKED!!!! The organizations were REALLY good, but I was VERY disappointed in myself. I prepared a HBCU show for CLEMSON! #Dumb! So, I went back to the lab and said, “What if I misjudge my audience again? I need versatility!” Next- Coastal was a GREAT show. I brought a dancer with me, I gave away cash, etc. Next- FAMU was AWESOME! My first show out of SC. First arena. The dude that booked me found me after and we had to run back to talk to the Student Activities Director because she “LOVED ME”! Very humbling! Next- USC (No words). I had people tell me, “It felt like a concert”, “That was the most people I’ve EVER seen in that arena!” So, I was REALLY crushed to find out I didn’t get it this year. But I will definitely be there to support!

And for a lot of entertainers, money is the motivation. They “work” to live. For me, not so much. I have a job. So my paycheck is how I live. But these shows feed my addiction! I LOOOOVVVVEEEE IIIIITTT! *K. Hart Voice* But when you go from a Senior to a Freshman, considering the Real World, it is indeed a challenge. According to The JDD (Jay Dukes Dictionary) A PROFESSIONAL is: (Noun) Someone who does what they love, but well enough to get paid for it. So, being a professional for a year and some months compared to people who have been on tv and movies for 5+ years… They would call me an amateur on paper. And, better YET, the HARDEST thing is to try and convince your own peers that you are a professional now. “Like really, I’m not just the same dude! I’ve gotten better! I PROMISE!” Man… what’s the purpose?! I can talk till I’m blue in the face! I understand how butterflies feel. Think about trying to explain that ish to your people? You fly down and see Kahlil.
“Aey… Kahlil! What up?”
“Hello there Mr. Butterfly. But uuuhhh… who are you?”
“Really nigga? It’s me! Dukes!”
“FOH! Seriously?”
“Yea… boi. This ME!”

But I just smile because being underrated is a better position than being “famous”. My new favorite saying is, “I hate being doubted, but I LOVE making believers”! And I whole-heartedly believe that if it was God's will for me to stay in one spot, without progression or moving up, I would be in a box. You better believe that I AM coming to YOUR city, your school- SOON. It may not be today, may not be tomorrow, but just hope it’s before my prices go up! Haha

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

I REFUSE to be a Slave Anymore!

Just because I’m hosting #GHOE’s Greek Step Show, that has nothing to do with why I’m feeling myself right now. Maybe I’m more excited that I have the power of saying, “Oh… And I’m bringing my own dj!” Yall know it’s DJ T. Mobile! #tooeasy. AND… You guessed it. That has NOTHING to do with my blog. But *shrug*, here it goes:

I know yall are thinking, “Dukes, be real. You not old enough to be a slave. You probably don’t know any former slaves either. You are soooo dramatic!” You right, I never picked cotton. But I used to get beat like a slave. NO LIE! Because I was bad. I was the get a referral everyday type kid. So bad that I would walk in class and the teacher would show me a referral with my name and that day's date on it. Then she would say, “Now… I’m just waiting on you to do something. Try me!” And with a referral everyday, like clock work, a beating would follow when I got home. Ma Dukes’ most common beating speech wasn’t “Did…n’t… I… tell… you…” Nope! Not at all. I grew up in a different household. Ma Dukes’ speech was, “The reason I’m beating you now, so you know how it feel. Bad kids, turn into bad adults. You definitely gonna know how it feel so that you won’t go out here and do something STUPID enough for a cop to have to beat you!” Obviously, it changed my life because I still remember it.

But, there are still slaves walking around everyday. And a lot of people enslave themselves. I definitely would have been a run-a-way! Think about how many people you know put themselves through the same Hell on a day-to-day basis hoping that “Oooo… One day it’s going to get better.” or Ladies, “I know he loves me, he just needs time to sort some stuff out. We on a… break.” Pause: (laughs hysterically) Break is short for what? Break UP! Smack yourself. And a break is the perfect opportunity to do some grimy ish that I didn’t have the liberty to do before because… we’re on a BREAK! So Ladies, if you make yourself vulnerable enough to wait in the same spot until he returns, then you basically gave that man a Hall Pass. Does a Hall Pass sound stupid? Yes! Just as stupid as you sound for agreeing to take a break! Play:

Also, people enslave themselves by negative thinking. Is the glass half empty or half full? I have no clue how to answer that question. I just know I’m thirsty and give me some more… PLEASE! Lol. My lil’ lady says that I’m the most optimistic person she knows. And I credit Ma Dukes for that because we were brainwashed. I have watched every dvd on “Renewing Your Mind” from Joyce Myers to Creflo Dollar to T.D. Jakes. I promise you. But… it helps to go through some stuff too! I know I’m not where I want to be, but I’m grateful that I’m not where I was. At the end of EVERY blog I tag it “Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars”. And do I have a Million Dollars? HELLLLLL NO! Not yet! But death and life is in the power of the tongue. I will keep saying it until my bank account says it. Then I will change the tag to “Jay Dukes qka Mr. TWO Million Dollars.” But I say that to say, it feels much better to have a couple hundred in my bank account after all bills instead of Zero or a negative balance.

And maybe yall don’t feel me. If you haven’t been broke before then this is not for you. And when I mean broke, I mean REALLY broke. Broke like invested your savings of $600 in a party and only made $50 back because you got screwed on the deal. Broke like getting your water cut OFF! You run outside and say, “Excuse me Mr. my mommy gets off at three.” “Sorry lil’ man, I’m just doing my job.” Broke like putting TWO dollars on your bank card to intentionally overdraft to have gas to get to get to work for the rest of the week. To make it so bad, just LAST year, after I hosted USC, Clemson AND Coastal, I had to break up with my ex because she couldn’t count. I told her, “Babe, I only have $40 to spend on dinner.” So, instead of water, how in the F*&^ do you think it’s ok to buy some liquor which brings your total up to $26.50. What the F&^% am I supposed to eat B*&^%?! I left her ass at Applebee’s! Check: You don’t have to feel me right now, but somebody know what I’m talking about! *shrug*

You have to count your blessings. I am so blessed that I am not locked in to doing what I don’t want to do. I’m not there yet, at all. I have made SOME mistakes! But I occasionally pat myself on the back because I’m significantly younger than my competition. You WILL make mistakes. It’s called life. But if you don’t LEARN from those mistakes, you might as well pick cotton! People tell me all the time, “You’re doing GREAT! Keep at it and it’s gonna come.” So, in Faith, I’m holding on to that. But trust, I’m not waiting, I’m WORKING! And I heard you only get ONE shot! But just like at Carowinds… I’m pretty sure I can buy another ball!

Summary:
1.) Don’t fall for that Break ish.
2.) No, I’m not rich. YET!
3.) But I’m not broke either!
4.) Work smarter, not harder!
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

What's Valuable to YOU?!

The easiest thing for a female to give is sex. I’m sorry, I said it. I PROMISE you that it is easier to f*&^ a female with less than four partners than a female with more than ten. Because the whore, sorry I call it how I see it, the whore sees value in her vagina. That’s what she’s known for. A whore will f*&^ wit a dude just because she wants a nut, understanding that that’s all he wanted too. She’s happy, he’s happy… Get the HELL ON! But have you ever noticed that whores try to change with YOU?! Even though as a dude, I know plenty of dudes who have drilled. BUT… you are an angel now?! Whoa ma’am! A whore that sees potential in you will hold out FOREVER with giving YOU the goods, even though she‘s f*&^%n‘ somebody else. Why? Because over the years that has became her prized possession. “Happy Birthday… Vagina!” “Merry Christmas… Vagina!” “Happy New Year‘s!!!! Guess what I got for you… VAGINA!” And why does the whore see potential in YOU because they have ALREADY lowered their way of thinking.” The following is the whore thinking, “I hope he knows he doesn’t have to take me out… if he just wants to F*&^! I hope he knows he doesn’t have to open doors for me… if he just wants to F&^%! I hope he knows that he doesn’t have to text me ’Good Morning’ or ’Good Night’ if he… say it with me people… JUST WANTS TO F*&^! But since he is, I guess I got a good one!” It’s a dumb way of thinking, but it happens. So, if she wants this to work, her mentality is “hold out girl, HOLD out!” because honestly, after she gives you the goods… “What else does she have to give you?!”

The female with three and a half partners will, more than likely, give it up if the timing and feeling is right. But with this female you are not putting in work for sex! You are actually putting in work for her heart. It may be hard to believe and a little backwards, but it’s true. Think about it, if a female is 21+ with three or less partners, then they are not ADICKted to sex. They have learned to do without it. It’s not that valuable to them. (And she probably has more Toy Stories than Andy!) But anyway, if you f*&^ you STILL have a LOOOONNNNGGGG way to go. A female will let you drill when they reached a certain comfort zone. But getting a female’s heart takes an extraordinary amount of trust and commitment. And that’s what she finds valuable. Can she trust you enough to tell you things without you judging her! Like, she had an abortion? Or that her uncle died right after they got in an argument? All hypothetical, but the point is, if a female thinks of you enough to allow you to see into her life, her mind, and her heart, then you are that special one. That’s like her giving you the keys to her front door. Do you give EVERYBODY your house key? Nah…

I say that to say, that’s why it’s a scary feeling for a female that you are dealing with to lean emotionally on another dude. Why did that motha F*&^#$ get a key?! Maybe he listens better… You ever got frustrated in the lack of communication? “Listen, Stop crying… TALK TO ME!” Response: “I don’t have anything to say”. She doesn’t trust you yet. And personally, I start to get frustrated, “Man… if we don’t have trust, we don’t have anything. So, what’s the purpose…?” And I had to realize that that ish takes TTTTTIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEE!!!!

I had to realize that at my job, 107.3 Jamz in Greenville, SC, I worked as a Part-Time Promotions Assistant for FOUR YEARS!!!! Putting up the tent, taking down the tent. (And repeat). I was never late to a remote, and I was reliable. I was faithful with the little things and that began my trust ladder. After FOUR YEARS, they finally gave me a microphone. Ending question, when thinking about females who prove to be a challenge, ask yourself, “Have I been faithful with the little things?” If she can’t trust you to be on-time to the movies, if she can’t trust you to call right back when you say, “Babe, let me call you right back”, then do you think she is going to trust you with her house key? *waits for answer* Trust ME, it can be frustrating to remain “faithful with the little things”, but if it’s something that you want, you will get. Hard work pays off and nobody ever drowned in sweat. It took me four years to get a mic. But it was worth it…

Summary:

1.) I didn't call anyone a whore.  Judge yourself though

2.) Know when to throw in the towel

3.) Wash the towel

4.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

YMNs

Disclaimer: My fellas might, *looks to the left* probably will, have a problem with this post. They will call me a sell out, a traitor and whatever else they can think of. My response: “I’m not fuckin you, so I don’t care. *shrugs* Here it goes…

Every dude. I repeat EVERY dude has sold a female a dream. EVERY dude! If you real, raise your hand if you have sold a lady a dream before. *raises left hand, right hand and foot* It happens! It F*&^*n’ happens. I tell females all the time, “What’s ya name? Yea… *pops collar* I’m Jay Dukes. I have stacks on deck and I have toured around The World. Yes ma’am. Something like a big deal.” <---- What were those? LIES!!!! Truth: I WORK! I have toured around The Nation, but not The World! So, wasn’t a big lie, but a lil African-American lie aka A DREAM! Dudes are selling dreams like Girl’s Scout Cookies now-a-days. And more than likely, it’s the (Y.M.N.) Y.oung-M.inded N.igga. I can hear the ladies now: “OOO… You so right Dukes. I refuse to talk to anybody on campus because they are so young and stupid!” Whoa! I didn’t just say “young”. I said young-MINDED! In all honesty, you can’t put an age on maturity. Ladies- “#cosignnnn… Say dat Dukes,” *insert neck roll* “But how can you point out a YMN because I don’t have time to waste or whatever.”

*deep breath, long sigh* The number ONE way to tell a YMN is because he has options or “friends”, but is thirsty as F*&^! He wants to be in a relationship waaaayyyy too soon. Like right now! TODAY! “Please go change your status on Facebook to in a relationship babe. Oh… You at work? What’s your password????” WWWWHHHHAAAATTTT??? Just chill…

But why does he want to be in a relationship? Brings me to Number TWO! Status! A YMN’s STATUS is VERY important. He has an image to uphold. A YMN will ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS go after the baddest B*&^%! The baddest chick on the yard, the baddest chick in the club, the baddest chick in revival! Why? Because she makes him look good. Keeping a girl is VITAL to a YMN’s status. Because if you are single, but swear you are the SHIT… females might flirt and make eye contact, but are really thinking, “What the f*&^ is wrong with you?!” Think about fellas! If you in the club and after a couple minutes of GREAT conversation, you ask the lady, “So… You got a man?” What do you want at that point… A honest answer? HELLLLL NOOOO! You want LIES! Because if she took 15 minutes to talk and laugh with ya ass, then something ain’t right at home. So, you want her to say, “Nah… But I do talk to someone.”

Pause: <---- The previous statement is a LIE from HELL! Because if you respect “that guy” enough to acknowledge that yall are even talking then there are two people lying to themselves in this situation. Who? Look in mirror to find the first person, and the second? Look at the person you fuckin! #tooeasy

Play: The best way I can compare a YMN’s mentality when it comes to status is… SHOES! I have more than one pair of shoes. Got shoes for every outfit! But… (gasps) I want THAT PAIR from Aldo! Those are NNNNIIIIICCCCEEEE… I need them. Didn’t have the money to afford those shoes, but I put in EXTRA work and even settled for putting them on Lay-A-Way. But once I got those shoes, I LOVED those f*&^$n’ shoes! I wore them out in the public TWICE and noticed a slight crease! So, HELL NAH… I’m not wearing these everyday. I will just pull them out on special occasions. Just enough for people to KNOW I GOT THEM! Because these shoes right here are the FRESHEST kicks on the block right now. Aldo shoes= My Main chick/ my lady! The baddest chick is mine! Dudes look and stare, but they can’t have her and I won’t tell them what I did to get her! But what she doesn’t know is that more than occasionally, I like to play ball! About three times a week...

In my Jordans! I keep them in the car or my bag. I also run and exercise in them. I can scuff them up and dog them out from time to time. But they will never fail me. Just clean them up! I can jump higher, run faster, and still look good doing it. Jordans= Sideline Ho! She still looks good and she comes around more than often or occasionally. But still knows her place. I REALLY like my Jordans! But LOVE my…

Bedroom Slippers!

Bedroom=Nightime. Or I would wear them to the café when I really didn’t give a F^%$! “It’s Saturday. I ain’t gonna see nobody in here!” Have you ever thought about your bedroom slippers and just been grateful for them. They sit right there! Don’t say nothing. Just chill. They are happy when you put them on, but don’t get mad when you walk around in just your socks either. Bedroom Slippers are the most understanding shoes you have. Bedroom Slippers= The Diamond In The Rough. She is a star! She supports! She listens! She will skip a meal to avoid spoiling her appetite for penis, but…You can't get over what supposedly she's covering up.  What's behind her.  Her past is too FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKEEEEDDDD UP!

You will NEVER, I repeat NEVER throw your bedroom slippers away until somebody makes you! True ish? I KNOW!!!! *drops mic*
~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

Summary:
1.) A person’s age doesn’t determine their maturity
2.) Why are YOU single?
3.) YMN’s are outnumbering real ninjas
4.) Don’t take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

She Loves Me... She Loves Me Not...

Disclaimer:  This is my life, exactly how it happened.  It may be touching or whatever.  But don't feel sorry for me, because... (ahem) *Cues Nate Dogg* I... GOT... (covers mouth), I GOT...  Hope you enjoy.  Welp... Here it goes:

The worst time to go to the mall is right after you get paid.  Why?  Because you're not thinking logical.  Have you added up your bills?  Have you even calculated food and gas?  Probably not.  But what do we do with money in our pockets?  Well... What do I do?  I pick up ish!  And look at the tag!  "Hmmm...  Only $20 for this V-Neck?  *shrugs* Why not?"  "Oh... Shhhh...  These are the same, exact shoes I have on now!  But the ones I have are old.  (Gasps) And they on sale for $50????  *shrugs* Why not?"  Just blew $70 in less than ten minutes on ish I didn't even need!  Got a dude feeling like a superhero right now!  And on the way out I'm starving!  Heading straight to McDonald's.  But... Noooooooo!  My Kryptonite- GREAT AMERICAN COOKIES!  FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK...  And I know exactly what I want!  "Let me get one M&M Double Doozie... (I'm talking fast because that's not all that I want.  But it's all I need!)  And this dumb chick has the F*&^#n' nerve to say, "You know with each double doozie you buy today, you get 12 cookies of of your choice for free!"  WTF?!  And at this point, I'm turning into The Hulk!  (breathing heavy) (Heavier) (Mouth-watering)  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH... ssshhhhiiiiittttt!  You know what?  Give me three more!  WHY... NOT?! 

Last week, I asked my lil' lady, "Hey... babe.  What you doing tomorrow?  You should come through." 
"Uh huh... Really?"
"Whatever..."
I had to handle something and called right back.  *Incoming text* 
"oh... Babe.  My co-worker wants me to work for her tomorrow.  But if you coming through, I won't.  What's good?"
"Huh...?  What you mean?"
"She wants me to work tomorrow.  But I can't if you are coming!  You coming?"
NO F*&^%+$N' lie!  Her response was the following:
"Ummm...  I didn't plan on it!"

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

Reality just set in!  Oh my...  I just might be.  No!  I AM that "WNN"?!  WNN stands for W.hy N.ot N.igga!!!!  dun... dun... ddduuuunnnn...

I analyzed the situation carefully and you know if you are the WNN (W.hy N.ot N.igga)   because of the following situations:

1.) "Babe, you wanna do lunch?"
"Ummm... You coming up here?"
"Yea... I got a meeting."
-sucks teeth- "I guess.  Why not?!"

2.) "BBBBAAABBBEEEE...  Wake up!"
"What...?  Huh...?"
"You gonna let me in?"
*moans* "NA UNNN...  You already downstairs?"
"Yes ma'am!"
*blows hot morning breath air* "Yea... I'm coming!  Why Not?!"

3.) The following is a convo with you and the girls!  No niggas!  Just the girls:
"Ummm...  So today is a special day.  And I know he wants to spend time with me!"
"So, you just gonna ditch us!"
"Noooo... that's what I'm saying.  I don't want him to feel out of place!"
"GURL... STOP!  We ain't doing nothing, but getting something to eat.  Is he paying?"
"Duh..."
"Shhhhiiiiitttt... WHY NOT?!?!?!?!?!!?"
"You right girl!"  *inserts a high-five and a finger snap*

It's a HUGE difference between love, like and CONVENIENCE!!!!  If ya girl just "puts up with you".  You are CONVENIENT!  If she loves spending time, but it's not the same when yall are apart, you are CONVENIENT!  Perfect example, fellas- "I'm sorry" and ladies- "I'm sorry".  If the only relationships that work for you are long distant, then you are NOT ready to be in a REAL relationship.  You are in a situation.  Kinda like your job.  You know what role to play from 9-5, but you still live your life.  Does your job really care if you go out and get drunk off your ass Thursday night?  Nope!  As long as you come in Friday and get your work done.  So, does Shantel really care if other B*&^$#s are calling your phone. Probably not.  As long as she gets her Good Morning, Goodnight Texts and daily convo.  And she's a woman who has needs... so as long as you come through occasionally and put it down like you supposed to, then you have deserved that "Damn I love you.  That's my... boo" Title! 

Put check: I told the lady at BP the other day.  "Damn I love yall!"  Why?  Because it was 2:30 in the morning and I could feel the Milk of Magnesia doing what it does!  Oh ish!  NO TISSUE?  So, I honestly didn't have time to drive 10 miles to Wal-Mart for the good, soft Charmin stuff!  I just needed some F*&^%$ tissue.  So instead of 10 miles, I can go TWO streets over!  So, do I really love BP and it's high ass prices?!  HELLLLLL... Nah... But it was convenient!  So... WHY NOT?!

Summary:

1.) Don't be that WNN (W.hy N.ot N.igga) Try to catch it before you're too deep
2.) A hard head makes a soft behind, but a big head is hard to sleep beside!
3.) Don't have a number 3
4.) Don't take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

 Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 3 of (Who knows)

Disclaimer: This is PART THREE!  You WILL be lost if you havent read one or two yet!  #imjussayin.  Oh... And This stuff really happened!  To be honest, I tend to exaggerate on Twitter.  But my blogs? Straight RAW!  Enjoy.  Welp... Here it goes:

Hopped off the plane and the FIRST thing I did was call my Lbs. “LB, I’m here, where yall at? Are yall at The North Exit? By baggage claim? Where?”

“Man… We still in DC. You are in BALTIMORE! But don’t trip. Get on the Metro. Take the B30 and it’ll bring you right to DC. You’ll be here in no time.”

“What? Huh? Take PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?!?!?!?!?!” *dun… dun… dun…* “Yall lying! Stop playing. Where yall at?”
“LB, I know you used to taking limos and ish. But you are NOT a celebrity to us! You are our LB! So no, we didn’t send a car. No, we don’t give a F*&^ if you mad. And if you are, SO! Go downstairs, follow the signs and take the B30 to get here! Real easy. Stop being a B&^%$!”

And at that point my phone died. But God was definitely on my side because as soon as I got downstairs the B30 was pulling up. Everybody else was waiting on other buses. I got on and handed the lady my card. She had both hands on the steering wheel focused and ready to go like a Nascar driver!

She didn‘t even look at me, “We only take cash.”

“Yall don’t take debit?”

Still not looking, she opens the door, “We only take cash. Find an ATM and catch me when I come back around.”

“Do you know where an atm is?”

Then she looked at me with the ‘you must be stupid look’ and replied, “INSIDE!”

“How long before you come back around?”

*deep breath, long sigh* “About 5 minutes”.

So, I’m thinking cool. I’m going to walk in here and it should be an ATM… right… here… NO! Ok… Maybe… over… there! Ah-ha? NO! I looked up, saw one of those You are Here signs that said, “Nearest ATM is 3 blocks past Hudson News in the East Tower.” I’m thinking that’s not far. But WRONG! I was at the far end of the NORTH tower! SSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTT!

I took off! Hauling ass to the East Tower. I kicked one dude’s mop bucket and almost ran over somebody’s granny. But hey… Get on the right side of the hallway. Who told him to mop at work? How dare you? I get to the atm. Withdrawal… FORTY dollars… accept. And now, the fees! WHAT THA… F*&^???? The fee was $30! My total amount from ONE visit to the ATM was SEVENTY F*&^#N’ DOLLARS!

I run BACK to the NORTH tower! The B30 was pulling up. Out of breath I handed her the $20. She responded, “We only take exact change!” WHOA! C’mon man! The bus ride was only SEVEN dollars, but f- it! I was out of breath, out of shape and out of patience. “Man… here is a $13 tip. Get me there safe!”

I sit down and a weird looking dude gets on the bus. He asked the bus driver something. And the bus lady who first showed absolutely no emotion at all, turned into a caring soldier. No lie! She reminded me of Queen Latifah on set it off! She told the dude, “Get on the bus!” “Hey… where we going?” “To get your camera back!” Apparently, a dad and his daughter claimed this dude’s camera and as a good bus driver she went to get it back. She pulled up to the next stop, told the dude, “There they go RIGHT THERE! COME ON!” and hopped off! She was real loud so we heard every word! “No. Shut up! That’s not yours. Why would you lie, huh? Huh? SHUT UP! Nobody told you to speak! Don’t get on my bus again. Stupid!” And she smacked this dude in the back of the head in front of his daughter and walked away! GANGSTA! I felt soooo safe riding on Queen’s bus! #leigo!

We pull up to DC and I’m looking for a familiar face, car or something, but… NOTHING! NOTHING at ALL… I run into one of my bruhz and ask him to use his phone, because mine is dead! He didn’t mind. But he told me that I was about 30 minutes from where I should be! WTF?! But my Lbs said that they were 5 minutes from me! So, I waited! Guess what those were? LIES!!!! F*&^%$ LIES!!!! I waited an hour and still nobody. I’m stranded with no phone.

Keep in mind that I’m in DC. By myself. With a frat shirt cut up on the sleeves, fatigues, dirty shoes bc I planned on changing them at the hotel, and a book bag! To people that don’t know about fraternities, what did I look like? Another down and out HOMELESS person! I found it interesting that NO white person would let me use their phone! NOT one! No lie! I asked these two white dudes, “Hey… Mr. Can I use your phone, mine is dead!” And one wanted to let me use it, but the uncomfortable body language and piercing stare of the other told him “I know you are just visiting. But don’t trust him. He’s black.” And the dude responded, “I’m sorry. We are about to go.” I told the dude straight up! “STOP BULLSHITTIN! Look…” *I took off my bag, put it on the ground and kicked it over to him* “I’m not from here. I just want to use the phone to find out where my ride is. I got money. I promise I’m not trying to steal your raggedy ass flip phone. This is my phone. But it’s no good because it’s DEAD. Google me!  I can't afford to go to jail for dumb shit!  Please, Mr. Please…”

“Okay… what’s the number?”

*dials number* Riiiinnnngggg… “DAMN BRUH! Where ARE YALL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”

END OF PART 3

Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 2 of (Who knows)

Disclaimer: The following is extremely exaggerated.  But it's the best way to tell how it went down.  Enjoy.  Welp... Here it goes:

I made it to the airport! -whew-. But ALL the Long Term Parking was FULL! Completely FULL! Time winding down, so I just parking in hourly parking! I will only be gone for two days! Why not? #leigo! I parked, jumped out and kept moving. Ran to the service desk, put in the confirmation number and the lady told me, “You need to hurry sir, you plane will leave ON-TIME!” “Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am!”

I RAN up the steps and almost went in the wrong way! But no worries, airport employees are mean as F*&^! White dude told me, “EXCUSE ME! You need to go THAT way!” “Ok… I got it… ok..ok… *K. Hart Voice* Did the security check thing. Took my shoes off. Everything out my pockets and sent my bag down the belt. I had NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING on me! And I had on basketball shorts. So no metal belt, button, nothing! But when I went through the metal detector, the dude said, “Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to pat you down. Hands over your head please.” And I mumbled, “Man… this is some BULLSHIT!” He looked up with the “Oh… Really?” face, didn’t pat me down and put out his left hand.

“Sir, please step to your right. NEXT!”
“Ummm… Sir? My plane leaves in less than thirty minutes! What’s the problem?”
“Mr. Dukes, until you calm down then I can not allow you to board this plane?”
Pause: You ever had somebody tell you to calm down prior to you getting upset? Just that statement in itself pisses you off!

Play: “Calm down? Motha F*&$#$ I AM CALM! Pat me down so I CAN GO!!!!” Now all the white people looking with the “Could he be a terrorist” face. I took off my shades and started again, “Do you know who I AM? This is racism! Where is Martin Luther and Malcolm X when you need em! I have NOTHING on me! NOTHING… I promise!” And the security dude said, “Mr. Dukes please calm down. It’s just my job. I have to pat you down. You are entitled to a private screening if you would like.” “Private screening my ASS! I can NOT MISS THAT PLANE!” So I pulled down my shorts and threw off my t-shirt. “Look! NOTHING!”

And white people are freaking out! One lady covered her daughters eyes, and this old white lady, with a cane, bout 70, almost swallowed her teeth and waved a dollar at me. (And of course I took it and gave her my card)
“Sir… please put back on your clothes.”
“Ok… ok…”
And this white dude named Zack was the ONLY reason they let me go. He must have known the security guy and he said, “You see our young brother is going through a lot right now. Let em through… C’mon man… let em through…” And his little son, bout six, helped out, “Yea… let em through…” and they started clapping. Before I knew it, it was 20 white people, chanting and clapping, “Let em… through. Let em through… Let em… through”. NO BULLSHIT!

So they let me go and I made it to the plane. -whew- And it was A LOT of empty seats on the plane. But two seconds before it pulled off, an Arab man got on the plane. It was two empty seats by me, but I was praying that none of these were his seat! -whew- He was in the middle seat in front of me. But the flight attendant suggested for him to sit in MY row instead of making the lady move! GGGRRR… You stupid B*&^%! Now a nigga is SCARED! Like for REAL!

Pause: I don’t know if yall heard or not, but some country has been doing research to implant bombs inside of living people! I’m not sure how far advanced the technology is, but I heard it!

Play: So, I’m watching this guy! Like a HAWK! Yall know I took Karate for about two months when I was nine, so I tried to remember EVERY move I learned. Not a lot of them came to me at the time, but enough did in case some shit popped off! “Left hook, elbow, kick… he’s down. Or… left knee, hi-ya, neck chop… he’s unconscious.” And I LOVE to sleep, but I couldn’t! The WHOLE ride I watched him. I don’t know if he had braces or whatever, but NO LIE… the WHOLE ride this guy had a fish hook, and he was picking stuff out of his teeth and dropping it in this cup! My paranoid self thinking that he’s taking stuff out of his mouth to make a bomb. Not sure how big the bomb was going to be. But I don’t think they even have to be big! I am freaking the F*&^ out!

Even though it’s been YEARS since I’ve taken Karate, I still keep my wrist wrap in my bag. To prepare myself, I started wrapping my wrists just in case… But… Ahhh haaaa *Braxton voice* If he knew I had a lot going for me, he would spare me. And by sparing me, I would save the plane! So I started having casual conversation and showing him pictures. “This… is when I hosted the show at USC. This… is when I went all the way to Florida A&M. You ever been to Florida?” And he nodded his head. Then he told me, “Wait… Wait… Ivse have sumtin’ for you”.

“NO, NO, NO! I don’t want it. I’m fine! Trust me! I’m fine!” And I explained to him that my bag was already 50 pounds and I couldn’t afford to put another ounce inside my bag! -whew- I saved the plane!
The Captain came over the intercom, “Thank for flying CALMT Airlines, where we guarantee Cheap Ass Last Minute Tickets. We are preparing to land. Welcome to Baltimore!”

END of Part TWO

Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 1 of (Who knows)

Disclaimer: I'm still high off of The Delta's Regional Conference Step Show.  If you all have ANY video or pictures PLEASE send it to me.  I'm NEED that!  And since The Clave was OVER a week ago, I hope this doesn't get me in any trouble.  It's old news, right?
I’m checking my emails on Friday evening and it reads, “The last LS bruh (Pause: LS is for our chapter name. And it doesn’t stand for Lambda Sigma, it stands for Long-Stroke Chapter. Play) “The last LS bruh has touched down."<---- This was from my Tre Dawg, Eric Jordan. And at this point I’m HURTIN! And SEVERAL different things are running through my mind. Like,

“Why… the HELL am I at home?”

“What tha F*&^ am I doing in my room?”

“Who am… I?”

And I looked at a bottle of pills, thinking to myself, “I can’t take this ish man! 4real.” Almost in tears, I grabbed the bottle… “NOOOOOOOO!” And threw it across the room. Pause: It was a bottle of One-A-Day Gummies though. So, I wouldn’t have killed myself. I would’ve just been up, not tired, not sleepy, for three whole days. But just the fact that I felt THAT crazy. Play: So, I deleted every Twitter app I had, cut my phone off, threw my head under the covers. Only good thing is that my show is tomorrow. So suck it up Dukes. GOODNIGHT!

Alarm went off and I jumped up. Beautiful morning, crickets singing a new song, clothes pressed, it’s shower time and I’m on the way to work 45 minutes early humming all the way… di da dit da do… Ummmm…NO! That’s not how it went. I woke up and thought I was in DC. I woke up talking ish, “Yall get up. Aey… Kahlil, Ashton, EJ… get UP! Da Bruhz don’t sleep!” WHOA! “I’m NOT in DC? WHAT THA F*&^! Shhhhhiiiiittttt… And at that time I looked at the clock and it was 6:15. I have to be on-air at SEVEN o’clock and I stay 30 minutes away. Man… REAL rough morning.

I pulled up to our show at 6:59. DJ John G tossed me the mic and of course I dropped it because I’m not an athlete. But I picked it up and he counted me down, 3...2..1... “A Yeeezzzuuurrr… It’s The Say it Ain’t So Saturday Morning Show. Ya Main Man, Jay Dukes and Sheba Foxx. We are live at Waffle House on Haywood Road. Get up, get out and get here! On 107.3 Jamz.”

“Good job Dukes.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“WHHHAAATTTT…? What did I do to you?”

“My bad John. It’s not you. I’m having a rough morning.”

“Oh… Ok. You good? You want to talk about it?”

“Fuck you… I mean… Nah, I’m good.”

Pause: Do you have an overly concerned friend? Like, they think they are a counselor or something? But NOT! Because if I really told him what was wrong, was he going to use Urkel’s teleportation device to get me there? Noooo… So, why does it even matter! Play:

The show went by soooo slow. After I played Michael Jackson three times, kissed a couple babies AND ate breakfast, I looked at the clock and it was only 7:02. Come on man…

Ok, the show was OVER! We went back to the station. And I just felt sick. Like ready to throw up type ish. I knew EJ was there, but I called Ashton and he hit me with the sleepy voice. “Whoa. Ashton, where you at? You at The Clave?”

“Why nigga? You ain’t here.”

WHHHAAATTTTT…? Ashton’s there TOO? So, I’m the ONLY one that didn’t make it? No! Stop! That’s gay! I felt like the little dude on The Sandlot in the pool scene, “I can’t take it, I can’t take it anymore.” And I told myself, I’m getting on this internet and booking the FIRST plane ticket and taking off. F*&^ it!

Pause: All jokes aside, my ace, Michael Maxwell, passed on Thanksgiving Night, November 26^th, 2009. Like he’s not here anymore. So, I REALLY take spending time with those I care about like really REALLY serious. No bs. I will drive hundreds of miles just to see somebody special. Here today, gone tomorrow. You never know man. Give people their flowers while they’re living. It hit me so bad that I won’t even spend my birthday with a female. I get together with people who have been and will be there. Seriously… So, I thought about it. I won’t be here to see the next hundred years. Once in a lifetime opportunity. Go man… GO! Stop thinking, just GO! Play:

So, I told myself, “I’m getting on this internet and booking the VERY FIRST plane ticket I see. Ok… GSP… to Washington… Non-stop… Delta… loading… loading… Ok. Got it. Seven HUNDRED and FIFTY dollars???? F*&^% NO! Ok, not the first. Let’s try the second? $600 dollars???? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! I went down to the 6^th ticket and copped that one. Flying out of Charlotte at 2:50. Will arrive at BWI at 4:15. Called my Lbs. “I’m on the way bruhz! See you in a few. Yall better know I love yall.” Now that’s OWT!

I finally left the crib at 12:00. Traffic was CA-RAZZZYYYY… If I was going to make it, I was going to have to DRIVE! And I already bought this ticket, so man… I’m in there! And yall KNOW I can NOT afford anymore tickets! “Jesus… help me please…”

End of Part ONE... 

Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

And That's Fine Ma'am

Disclaimer: Some of yall might HATE me after this blog. I’m trying to put this as nice as I can, but when I write stuff like this, I’m driven by emotion. I apologize in advance, NOT for what I’m about to say, but how it may come off to some people. Welp, Here it goes:

This lady came to the 107.3 Jamz Traffic Jam this morning where Cricket and myself were working! Off the bat, I could tell that something was a little off with her. Her hair was wrapped with gray hairs sticking out underneath, fire red eye-balls with heavy bags under them. Instead of speaking or saying, “Hey… What’s going on here?” Her first words were, “Why are yall out here? Every time I go into that store, those white people are so NASTY to me…”

I replied, “Oh…No… Not these people. And they are giving away free sausage biscuits and coffee while we are here.”

“Hmph. Watch I go into this store and they don’t say two words to me.”

THEN… Out of ALL things Cricket could say… AND we had a couple options like

1.) “Ma’am, I can walk in with you.” or 2.) “They came out here and were very nice.” or 3.) We know these people very well.

CRICKET decided to say… “Ma’am, you just gotta kill em with kindness.”

AND she F*&^%$’ FLIPPED! She straight snapped on Cricket! She turned around and went IN!

“That’s a lie! No ma’am, that’s a LIE! And it angers me that as a society we have been forced to believe that. As educated African-Americans we do NOT have to take ANY mistreatment AT ALL. In today’s time we would like to think that we have moved past being looked down on by the white man. But I say we do it to ourselves by statements like THAT! *blows hot air* and mumbles ‘Gotta give em time!’ my a-.”

And even though that was NOT what Cricket said, instead of just letting the disturbed lady WALK AWAY… Cricket decides to clear her name by saying, “Well… Well… that’s not what I said ma’am. I said you have to kill em with kindness”. And she SNAPPED AGAIN!!!!

“What???? Kill em with kindness? That also is a LIE! A LIEEEE!!!! And as young African-Americans, I refuse to accept that YOU believe that. That’s what you have been TAUGHT. But have you thought about it for yourselves?”

At this point I’m looking off in the clouds because I’m in the process of tuning her out. Because if we listen, or not, she was going to keep talking. She went on, “Perfect example, I used to work at a Chemistry lab over 35 years ago. With extremely dangerous acids and chemicals. And if I would turn my back for THREE seconds those WHITE people would adjust my measurements or beakers or whatever so that when I would return to my station, ACID would spill on my hands. Stuff strong enough to burn my fingers OFF! And you think I had to kill em with kindness? NO! Stressses of the world and the way we treat one another are causing the world to run amuck. Look at Eddie Long. Yea… He did it. And I don’t blame the little boys, I don’t blame him, I blame his WIFE! Because she has openly confessed that the things that went on were TRUE, but she still chose to stand beside that man through it all…”

I’m holding a pen because I knew were she was going. I’m just shaking my head and squeezing the pen.

“Because Eddie Long and those boys were BORN THAT WAY!”

And I SNAPPED the pen *crack* and then I opened my mouth, “Ma’am… I refuse to believe that.”

“So, young man, you are telling me that homosexuality is a choice?”

“Yes… I believe so! And it’s wrong?”

“It’s WRONG?”

“Yes ma’am. God calls homosexuality an abomination. An abomination is worst than a sin, in my book. Because He would have just called it a sin. But He called it an abomination.”

“What about when God says…”

“Just pause right there ma’am, because people twist scriptures to believe what they want to believe.”

“You are right.”

“And I personally believe that homosexuality is a choice and it’s wrong! #thatisall…”

I lifted the sleeve of my shirt to rub my brand and she started AGAIN, “Oh… And you are Greek? Hmph. You know The Lord say don’t mark your body. What do you think about that? Huh? Huh? Since you know so much about The Bible.”

“Ma’am… I don’t know that much about The Bible. I would like to, but I don’t. I just know the things that I firmly believe and what I stand on. And I ALSO think it’s wrong for you to try and force your beliefs on me. You believe what you want to believe.”

Ok… Here goes nothing…

Religion is a VERY VERY touchy subject. You have so many different religions and with Christianity alone you have SO MANY different denominations. So at the end of the day, you honestly have what YOU believe, what I believe and THE TRUTH. And the argument is what’s THE TRUTH?!?! I believe, keyword I, that Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed his blood for all of our sins. By accepting Jesus as MY Lord and Savior, I will have eternal life with him in HEAVEN!

And YOU might believe in Alah and 32 virgins or whatever…

At the end of the day, I do NOT CARE that much about your LIFE! Point, blank, period! I only care that much about my inner-circle. That’s my family and my wife. OUR morals need to line up! But Keisha and Bernard, I… don’t… give a FLIP! I REALLY don’t. You can only live YOUR life and YOU have to deal with the consequences YOU make. So have fun. I’m not going to judge you. I honestly think people care TOO much about the way OTHERS live their life. I believe there is a Heaven and HELL. Period! But how can I convince somebody to “get right” because they don’t want to go to Hell if they don’t even believe in it? So, should I waste my breath? Perfect example: My mom can take the rack out of the oven with her bare hands. She doesn’t BELIEVE that it’s that hot. I BELIEVE that that’s crazy and I REFUSE to do it. Gimme the oven mitt!

So with homosexuality, I believe that it is an ABOMINATION to God. And what REALLY upsets me is when Christians accept a homosexual lifestyle by claiming they were born that way. Pause: The CLOSEST thing I can get to that “born that way" statement is that it was accepted at a young age. Junk in, junk out. What you put in your spirit will eventually come out. I have SO much respect for my cousin. I still remember this today. My little cousin is in high school now. But when he was younger, about 4, he was the only boy at Thanksgiving. His sister had about 3 girls with her. They had dolls and all kind of cool stuff for girls. As a four-year old you just want company. He walked over to the girls play area and grabbed a doll. His dad snatched the doll from his hand and said, “No… No… son. You don’t play with dolls. Here, play with your trucks. Your trucks!” He was taught early the way a young man should act and the things a young man should do. Play: And you ever notice that homosexuals know The Bible more than we do? They know every scripture that helps them in an argument…So, I don’t even choose to get into an argument with one. My stance is… “I believe what I believe. Do you."

And we can even lighten up the situation. Let’s talk Greek. The dumbest conversation to me is when one frat tries to justify why his organization is better than another. That was the best organization for YOU! And other fraternities even know MY history! It blows me away. The purpose? To justify everything we did for society in comparison to what THEY did! And wait… Those where your founders! Or your frat brothers back in 1973. What did YOU do for your organization Mister? *crickets* A lot of Undergraduate Greeks are BRAINWASHED. They don’t grasps the concept that this is REALLY for a LIFETIME! Most undergrads decide to become Greek to be apart of a winning team. If I’m wrong, tell me I’m wrong. A young man who wanted to be a Kappa all his life pledged Sigma because The Kappas were off the yard. #sad. Do me a favor. Ask somebody why did they become greek. They might answer: “Because I fell in love with the sisterhood and all the service we do.” That’s the WEAKEST answer ALIVE! EVER! Because doesn’t EVERY sorority/fraternity stand for some sort of sisterhood/brotherhood & service?

My answer: I became an Omega Man because of the positive influences on my life happen to all be Omega Men. Also, they didn’t do it for recognition or anything like that. Upstanding African-American men with a genuine heart for helping this struggling young African-American man do better. I owe it to them and those who will come after me to continue that positive circle of influence. And I shortly found out, it was the BEST decision of my life!

So, just a little advice. Undergrad is only FOUR YEARS! Don’t think now. I didn’t. Honestly, I got to school and other organizations were getting all girls AND running ish! But I KNEW that wasn’t in my heart. I was going to be an OMEGA MAN. So, don’t measure the popularity or the current “status” of the organization by the chapter you see on the yard! PLEASE… PLEASE… PLEASE… it’s much bigger than that. Think about the organization as a WHOLE and what assets you can bring the table.

Summary:

1.) If you cared about yourself more than being a busy body you wouldn’t stress so much.

2.) I don’t hate gay people. I just don’t agree with it.

3.) Don’t take my advice.

4.) Sorry it was so long.

5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

The 25th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show- My Recap

Disclaimer: I can NEVER forget this show. August 5^th, 2011 goes into my mental calendar because it was a GREAT show. A MAJOR milestone in my career, because this was the first show EVER that I had the mindset of intentionally telling jokes on stage. So, not just rocking with the dj and cracking on people. I wrote out my material, practiced, stressed out about it, AND called people to critique me! Welp… Here it goes:

Thursday night I got home (still on full) and set my alarm for 4:00 am! Had to get up and broadcast from Anderson in the morning, which is an hour away. Alarm… set and Goodnight!

I slept STRAIGHT through my alarm. Seriously… I rode with Cricket to work. I woke up to a text at 4:45 that said, “I’m on the way”. And I blinked ONE time, I promise, and the next text I saw at 5:05 was, “I’m outside!” Oh… ish! I called her, “Dang… Cricket. I’m F*&^%$ up!? Give me five minutes.” I took a bird shower, brushed my teeth and threw my deodorant, lotion and other ish in a bag. Man… They JUST warned us about being late! Cricket doing a hundred on the highway, but The Lord was with us. We actually got there on-time, set-up and everything… Ok… Nine o’clock. Pack up and #leigo!

Got to the crib and took a nap. Pause: Sleeping helps me think. I honestly believe that The Lord speaks to us through dreams. Play: Got up and called my cuzzo, Nebo. “Aey.. Cuzzo. Show in Charleston tonight. U rollin?” “Man… Hell yea.”
“Bet.”

My brother, Josh, called me, “I’m still good to roll?”
“Yea… Be there in an hour.”
“Bet.”

Went to scoop my brother, and we were on the way to Columbia! Woot! Woot! Let’s do this!!!!
My brother starts our FAVORITE conversation: “I got females in Charleston! I told them you were hosting the show and they want to meet you!”
“Ohh… No…sir! I’m NOT going down here to get in any trouble. Get thee behind me Satan.”
Then he showed me a picture
“Ummm… Man… What’s her number? You know, in case we get lost.”
“RIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTT…”

Had to stop on the way to get some gas. And this little white boy, bout 4 years old, was kicking and screaming. Crying his little heart out. So, I take out my phone for evidence in case I had to snitch on anybody. Also, if he did anything funny he would make me a Youtube star. But he was really showing out. His PREGNANT mother tried to put him in the van and he’s holding on to the side of the van for dear life. At this point I’m concerned because something serious could be happening right now. But then… all that concerned ish went out the window when he took a break from crying to scream, “I WANT MY LIFESAVERS… I… WANT… MY… LIFESAVERS!!!!” WTF? U bad ass little boy! So me and my brother looked at each other, shrugged and said, “They need to beat him”. And we were back on the road!

How about a Hurricane was in Columbia!  And it was raining HARD!!!!! Crazy… People on the highway going 45 miles an hour. But I can’t afford to follow behind them because it was already 6:15 and the show starts at 9:00. So, I’m driving off the highway on the grass passing people. Very… very dangerous. But it was a RUSH… Woooooo… Excuse me… VVRRRMMM… Probably the dumbest thing I did in a while. Pause: Not as dumb as the actions that occurred that time this prostitute gave us her card in Vegas. But anyway… Play: We start seeing Columbia signs. I called my cuzzo, “We 10 minutes from Columbia cuzzo. How do I get to you? WHAT…? Hello… Boy, you sleep?”
“What? I mean yea… I mean… nah… Where yall at?”
“Ten minutes out.”
“Oh… I stay in Sandhills now!”
“Where tha F*&^ is that?”
“I will text you the address.”
“Bet.”

I put the address in my phone and this Sandhills place is a WHOLE 40 minutes from 26! C’mon man… I thought about saying, “You need to meet us there. We cutting it too close.” But I couldn’t do my cuzzo like that… But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to!

We driving and it’s STILL raining cats and cows and sea horses. The average speed is 35 miles an hour AND… I-26 was backed up to damn near Spartanburg! #allbad! We didn’t have a helicopter so it looked as if we were STUCK! But nooooo… Cuzzo came to the rescue. We drove back roads ALL the way to Charleston! But the bad part was time wasn’t on our side. Still 2 hours from Charleston, it was 7:15. I’m kind of stressing, but it wasn’t anything I could do about. Just anxious to get out of the car. When we got TEN minutes away from the venue it FINALLY stopped raining! Ain’t that crazy???

We arrived at 8:45. I called Amanda Wise and this was the convo,
“What up babe? We turning in”.
“Good. Just go to The Convention Center and they will tell you where to go.”
“Ummm… Where’s my dressing room? Oh… And I need an iron, please babe.”
“Jay Dukes? Don’t play with me! You don’t get an iron when you show up 15 minutes before the show starts.”
“Oh… snap? That’s real. Hmph. Guess I will see you in there.”

We hop out the car. Cuzzo too focused on being pretty so he has his shirt still in the cleaners bag. And I told him, we don’t have time for you to put your shirt on! Let’s go! So, this linebacker looking guy is walking in front of me wearing just a tank top clearing the way. “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. I have the host here. Excuse me real quick ma’am. Thank you…”

We made it up the stairs and get stopped by the people in charge.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Jay Dukes.”
“And????”
“I’m the host. The emcee!”
“Oh… Good. Now we just waiting on the dj.”

Aight, bet. So I’m not the ultimate reason the show will be late. So, we were right on time. Not too bad. And ole’ girl wasn’t playing. All the dressing rooms were full for real. But since I’ve been working out and I’m not ashamed of any part of my body (ahem), I got dressed in the hallway. Why not???? No iron! I just thought, “If I rock the show like I practiced then they won’t even remember my shirt being wrinkled…”
Amanda saw me backstage and hit me with the, “You’re on in THREE minutes. U ready?” “Yes ma’am. Let’s do this!” I thought the dj was going to introduce me or something, but NO! lol… One of the Deltas walked me out and said, “GO!” WHOA! Like for real? Oh… Ok. “Welcome to The 25^th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show…”

(I really can’t put the actual show in words because it was one of those unforgettable experiences type thing! Thank you all soooo much for the love and support and the TWEETS! Really means much more than you will EVER know! If you missed it… TOO BAD! Catch my next one! All I can say is Tupac’s song needs to be remixed to say, “D…S…T… knows how to party.” Instead of California. Aey… and does anyone know where the pictures and video will be?)

After my shows, I ALWAYS show my appreciation by sitting on the stage and waiting for anybody who might want my contact info or pictures. And even though, I like to think I’m a celebrity sometimes, it’s evident that “I’m not a star… Somebody lied”. Because I only took about six pictures! Several people passed me and said, “Great job”. But yea.. Only six pictures. Lol… But trust and believe one day soon, my publicist is going to have to make an announcement, “NO more pictures people. He has to go!” Watch me!!!! Oh… And a VERY VERY important lady came by to meet me. To, “Put the face with the name”. Right then, the only person who would have made me smile bigger than I did would have been Oprah. (But I forgot yall denied her! I can’t wait till Oprah makes her OWN sorority and pays her members to join. #imjussayin. Lol…) In all seriousness, I can’t wait to do it again! Thank you all for the love. This could have very well been my best show to date.  (tear)

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”