Disclaimer: I'm still high off of The Delta's Regional Conference Step Show. If you all have ANY video or pictures PLEASE send it to me. I'm NEED that! And since The Clave was OVER a week ago, I hope this doesn't get me in any trouble. It's old news, right?
I’m checking my emails on Friday evening and it reads, “The last LS bruh (Pause: LS is for our chapter name. And it doesn’t stand for Lambda Sigma, it stands for Long-Stroke Chapter. Play) “The last LS bruh has touched down."<---- This was from my Tre Dawg, Eric Jordan. And at this point I’m HURTIN! And SEVERAL different things are running through my mind. Like,
I’m checking my emails on Friday evening and it reads, “The last LS bruh (Pause: LS is for our chapter name. And it doesn’t stand for Lambda Sigma, it stands for Long-Stroke Chapter. Play) “The last LS bruh has touched down."<---- This was from my Tre Dawg, Eric Jordan. And at this point I’m HURTIN! And SEVERAL different things are running through my mind. Like,
“Why… the HELL am I at home?”
“What tha F*&^ am I doing in my room?”
“Who am… I?”
And I looked at a bottle of pills, thinking to myself, “I can’t take this ish man! 4real.” Almost in tears, I grabbed the bottle… “NOOOOOOOO!” And threw it across the room. Pause: It was a bottle of One-A-Day Gummies though. So, I wouldn’t have killed myself. I would’ve just been up, not tired, not sleepy, for three whole days. But just the fact that I felt THAT crazy. Play: So, I deleted every Twitter app I had, cut my phone off, threw my head under the covers. Only good thing is that my show is tomorrow. So suck it up Dukes. GOODNIGHT!
Alarm went off and I jumped up. Beautiful morning, crickets singing a new song, clothes pressed, it’s shower time and I’m on the way to work 45 minutes early humming all the way… di da dit da do… Ummmm…NO! That’s not how it went. I woke up and thought I was in DC. I woke up talking ish, “Yall get up. Aey… Kahlil, Ashton, EJ… get UP! Da Bruhz don’t sleep!” WHOA! “I’m NOT in DC? WHAT THA F*&^! Shhhhhiiiiittttt… And at that time I looked at the clock and it was 6:15. I have to be on-air at SEVEN o’clock and I stay 30 minutes away. Man… REAL rough morning.
I pulled up to our show at 6:59. DJ John G tossed me the mic and of course I dropped it because I’m not an athlete. But I picked it up and he counted me down, 3...2..1... “A Yeeezzzuuurrr… It’s The Say it Ain’t So Saturday Morning Show. Ya Main Man, Jay Dukes and Sheba Foxx. We are live at Waffle House on Haywood Road. Get up, get out and get here! On 107.3 Jamz.”
“Good job Dukes.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“WHHHAAATTTT…? What did I do to you?”
“My bad John. It’s not you. I’m having a rough morning.”
“Oh… Ok. You good? You want to talk about it?”
“Fuck you… I mean… Nah, I’m good.”
Pause: Do you have an overly concerned friend? Like, they think they are a counselor or something? But NOT! Because if I really told him what was wrong, was he going to use Urkel’s teleportation device to get me there? Noooo… So, why does it even matter! Play:
The show went by soooo slow. After I played Michael Jackson three times, kissed a couple babies AND ate breakfast, I looked at the clock and it was only 7:02. Come on man…
Ok, the show was OVER! We went back to the station. And I just felt sick. Like ready to throw up type ish. I knew EJ was there, but I called Ashton and he hit me with the sleepy voice. “Whoa. Ashton, where you at? You at The Clave?”
“Why nigga? You ain’t here.”
WHHHAAATTTTT…? Ashton’s there TOO? So, I’m the ONLY one that didn’t make it? No! Stop! That’s gay! I felt like the little dude on The Sandlot in the pool scene, “I can’t take it, I can’t take it anymore.” And I told myself, I’m getting on this internet and booking the FIRST plane ticket and taking off. F*&^ it!
Pause: All jokes aside, my ace, Michael Maxwell, passed on Thanksgiving Night, November 26th, 2009. Like he’s not here anymore. So, I REALLY take spending time with those I care about like really REALLY serious. No bs. I will drive hundreds of miles just to see somebody special. Here today, gone tomorrow. You never know man. Give people their flowers while they’re living. It hit me so bad that I won’t even spend my birthday with a female. I get together with people who have been and will be there. Seriously… So, I thought about it. I won’t be here to see the next hundred years. Once in a lifetime opportunity. Go man… GO! Stop thinking, just GO! Play:
So, I told myself, “I’m getting on this internet and booking the VERY FIRST plane ticket I see. Ok… GSP… to Washington… Non-stop… Delta… loading… loading… Ok. Got it. Seven HUNDRED and FIFTY dollars???? F*&^% NO! Ok, not the first. Let’s try the second? $600 dollars???? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! I went down to the 6th ticket and copped that one. Flying out of Charlotte at 2:50. Will arrive at BWI at 4:15. Called my Lbs. “I’m on the way bruhz! See you in a few. Yall better know I love yall.” Now that’s OWT!
I finally left the crib at 12:00. Traffic was CA-RAZZZYYYY… If I was going to make it, I was going to have to DRIVE! And I already bought this ticket, so man… I’m in there! And yall KNOW I can NOT afford anymore tickets! “Jesus… help me please…”
End of Part ONE...
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
lolz it sounds like part II is about to be quite interesting lolz
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