Disclaimer: This is my life, exactly how it happened. It may be touching or whatever. But don't feel sorry for me, because... (ahem) *Cues Nate Dogg* I... GOT... (covers mouth), I GOT... Hope you enjoy. Welp... Here it goes:
The worst time to go to the mall is right after you get paid. Why? Because you're not thinking logical. Have you added up your bills? Have you even calculated food and gas? Probably not. But what do we do with money in our pockets? Well... What do I do? I pick up ish! And look at the tag! "Hmmm... Only $20 for this V-Neck? *shrugs* Why not?" "Oh... Shhhh... These are the same, exact shoes I have on now! But the ones I have are old. (Gasps) And they on sale for $50???? *shrugs* Why not?" Just blew $70 in less than ten minutes on ish I didn't even need! Got a dude feeling like a superhero right now! And on the way out I'm starving! Heading straight to McDonald's. But... Noooooooo! My Kryptonite- GREAT AMERICAN COOKIES! FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK... And I know exactly what I want! "Let me get one M&M Double Doozie... (I'm talking fast because that's not all that I want. But it's all I need!) And this dumb chick has the F*&^#n' nerve to say, "You know with each double doozie you buy today, you get 12 cookies of of your choice for free!" WTF?! And at this point, I'm turning into The Hulk! (breathing heavy) (Heavier) (Mouth-watering) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH... ssshhhhiiiiittttt! You know what? Give me three more! WHY... NOT?!
Last week, I asked my lil' lady, "Hey... babe. What you doing tomorrow? You should come through."
"Uh huh... Really?"
"Whatever..."
I had to handle something and called right back. *Incoming text*
"oh... Babe. My co-worker wants me to work for her tomorrow. But if you coming through, I won't. What's good?"
"Huh...? What you mean?"
"She wants me to work tomorrow. But I can't if you are coming! You coming?"
NO F*&^%+$N' lie! Her response was the following:
"Ummm... I didn't plan on it!"
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!
Reality just set in! Oh my... I just might be. No! I AM that "WNN"?! WNN stands for W.hy N.ot N.igga!!!! dun... dun... ddduuuunnnn...
I analyzed the situation carefully and you know if you are the WNN (W.hy N.ot N.igga) because of the following situations:
1.) "Babe, you wanna do lunch?"
"Ummm... You coming up here?"
"Yea... I got a meeting."
-sucks teeth- "I guess. Why not?!"
2.) "BBBBAAABBBEEEE... Wake up!"
"What...? Huh...?"
"You gonna let me in?"
*moans* "NA UNNN... You already downstairs?"
"Yes ma'am!"
*blows hot morning breath air* "Yea... I'm coming! Why Not?!"
3.) The following is a convo with you and the girls! No niggas! Just the girls:
"Ummm... So today is a special day. And I know he wants to spend time with me!"
"So, you just gonna ditch us!"
"Noooo... that's what I'm saying. I don't want him to feel out of place!"
"GURL... STOP! We ain't doing nothing, but getting something to eat. Is he paying?"
"Duh..."
"Shhhhiiiiitttt... WHY NOT?!?!?!?!?!!?"
"You right girl!" *inserts a high-five and a finger snap*
It's a HUGE difference between love, like and CONVENIENCE!!!! If ya girl just "puts up with you". You are CONVENIENT! If she loves spending time, but it's not the same when yall are apart, you are CONVENIENT! Perfect example, fellas- "I'm sorry" and ladies- "I'm sorry". If the only relationships that work for you are long distant, then you are NOT ready to be in a REAL relationship. You are in a situation. Kinda like your job. You know what role to play from 9-5, but you still live your life. Does your job really care if you go out and get drunk off your ass Thursday night? Nope! As long as you come in Friday and get your work done. So, does Shantel really care if other B*&^$#s are calling your phone. Probably not. As long as she gets her Good Morning, Goodnight Texts and daily convo. And she's a woman who has needs... so as long as you come through occasionally and put it down like you supposed to, then you have deserved that "Damn I love you. That's my... boo" Title!
Put check: I told the lady at BP the other day. "Damn I love yall!" Why? Because it was 2:30 in the morning and I could feel the Milk of Magnesia doing what it does! Oh ish! NO TISSUE? So, I honestly didn't have time to drive 10 miles to Wal-Mart for the good, soft Charmin stuff! I just needed some F*&^%$ tissue. So instead of 10 miles, I can go TWO streets over! So, do I really love BP and it's high ass prices?! HELLLLLL... Nah... But it was convenient! So... WHY NOT?!
Summary:
1.) Don't be that WNN (W.hy N.ot N.igga) Try to catch it before you're too deep
2.) A hard head makes a soft behind, but a big head is hard to sleep beside!
3.) Don't have a number 3
4.) Don't take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 3 of (Who knows)
Disclaimer: This is PART THREE! You WILL be lost if you havent read one or two yet! #imjussayin. Oh... And This stuff really happened! To be honest, I tend to exaggerate on Twitter. But my blogs? Straight RAW! Enjoy. Welp... Here it goes:
Hopped off the plane and the FIRST thing I did was call my Lbs. “LB, I’m here, where yall at? Are yall at The North Exit? By baggage claim? Where?”
“Man… We still in DC. You are in BALTIMORE! But don’t trip. Get on the Metro. Take the B30 and it’ll bring you right to DC. You’ll be here in no time.”
“What? Huh? Take PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?!?!?!?!?!” *dun… dun… dun…* “Yall lying! Stop playing. Where yall at?”
“LB, I know you used to taking limos and ish. But you are NOT a celebrity to us! You are our LB! So no, we didn’t send a car. No, we don’t give a F*&^ if you mad. And if you are, SO! Go downstairs, follow the signs and take the B30 to get here! Real easy. Stop being a B&^%$!”
“LB, I know you used to taking limos and ish. But you are NOT a celebrity to us! You are our LB! So no, we didn’t send a car. No, we don’t give a F*&^ if you mad. And if you are, SO! Go downstairs, follow the signs and take the B30 to get here! Real easy. Stop being a B&^%$!”
And at that point my phone died. But God was definitely on my side because as soon as I got downstairs the B30 was pulling up. Everybody else was waiting on other buses. I got on and handed the lady my card. She had both hands on the steering wheel focused and ready to go like a Nascar driver!
She didn‘t even look at me, “We only take cash.”
“Yall don’t take debit?”
Still not looking, she opens the door, “We only take cash. Find an ATM and catch me when I come back around.”
“Do you know where an atm is?”
Then she looked at me with the ‘you must be stupid look’ and replied, “INSIDE!”
“How long before you come back around?”
*deep breath, long sigh* “About 5 minutes”.
So, I’m thinking cool. I’m going to walk in here and it should be an ATM… right… here… NO! Ok… Maybe… over… there! Ah-ha? NO! I looked up, saw one of those You are Here signs that said, “Nearest ATM is 3 blocks past Hudson News in the East Tower.” I’m thinking that’s not far. But WRONG! I was at the far end of the NORTH tower! SSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTT!
I took off! Hauling ass to the East Tower. I kicked one dude’s mop bucket and almost ran over somebody’s granny. But hey… Get on the right side of the hallway. Who told him to mop at work? How dare you? I get to the atm. Withdrawal… FORTY dollars… accept. And now, the fees! WHAT THA… F*&^???? The fee was $30! My total amount from ONE visit to the ATM was SEVENTY F*&^#N’ DOLLARS!
I run BACK to the NORTH tower! The B30 was pulling up. Out of breath I handed her the $20. She responded, “We only take exact change!” WHOA! C’mon man! The bus ride was only SEVEN dollars, but f- it! I was out of breath, out of shape and out of patience. “Man… here is a $13 tip. Get me there safe!”
I sit down and a weird looking dude gets on the bus. He asked the bus driver something. And the bus lady who first showed absolutely no emotion at all, turned into a caring soldier. No lie! She reminded me of Queen Latifah on set it off! She told the dude, “Get on the bus!” “Hey… where we going?” “To get your camera back!” Apparently, a dad and his daughter claimed this dude’s camera and as a good bus driver she went to get it back. She pulled up to the next stop, told the dude, “There they go RIGHT THERE! COME ON!” and hopped off! She was real loud so we heard every word! “No. Shut up! That’s not yours. Why would you lie, huh? Huh? SHUT UP! Nobody told you to speak! Don’t get on my bus again. Stupid!” And she smacked this dude in the back of the head in front of his daughter and walked away! GANGSTA! I felt soooo safe riding on Queen’s bus! #leigo!
We pull up to DC and I’m looking for a familiar face, car or something, but… NOTHING! NOTHING at ALL… I run into one of my bruhz and ask him to use his phone, because mine is dead! He didn’t mind. But he told me that I was about 30 minutes from where I should be! WTF?! But my Lbs said that they were 5 minutes from me! So, I waited! Guess what those were? LIES!!!! F*&^%$ LIES!!!! I waited an hour and still nobody. I’m stranded with no phone.
Keep in mind that I’m in DC. By myself. With a frat shirt cut up on the sleeves, fatigues, dirty shoes bc I planned on changing them at the hotel, and a book bag! To people that don’t know about fraternities, what did I look like? Another down and out HOMELESS person! I found it interesting that NO white person would let me use their phone! NOT one! No lie! I asked these two white dudes, “Hey… Mr. Can I use your phone, mine is dead!” And one wanted to let me use it, but the uncomfortable body language and piercing stare of the other told him “I know you are just visiting. But don’t trust him. He’s black.” And the dude responded, “I’m sorry. We are about to go.” I told the dude straight up! “STOP BULLSHITTIN! Look…” *I took off my bag, put it on the ground and kicked it over to him* “I’m not from here. I just want to use the phone to find out where my ride is. I got money. I promise I’m not trying to steal your raggedy ass flip phone. This is my phone. But it’s no good because it’s DEAD. Google me! I can't afford to go to jail for dumb shit! Please, Mr. Please…”
“Okay… what’s the number?”
*dials number* Riiiinnnngggg… “DAMN BRUH! Where ARE YALL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”
END OF PART 3
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 2 of (Who knows)
Disclaimer: The following is extremely exaggerated. But it's the best way to tell how it went down. Enjoy. Welp... Here it goes:
I made it to the airport! -whew-. But ALL the Long Term Parking was FULL! Completely FULL! Time winding down, so I just parking in hourly parking! I will only be gone for two days! Why not? #leigo! I parked, jumped out and kept moving. Ran to the service desk, put in the confirmation number and the lady told me, “You need to hurry sir, you plane will leave ON-TIME!” “Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am!”
I RAN up the steps and almost went in the wrong way! But no worries, airport employees are mean as F*&^! White dude told me, “EXCUSE ME! You need to go THAT way!” “Ok… I got it… ok..ok… *K. Hart Voice* Did the security check thing. Took my shoes off. Everything out my pockets and sent my bag down the belt. I had NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING on me! And I had on basketball shorts. So no metal belt, button, nothing! But when I went through the metal detector, the dude said, “Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to pat you down. Hands over your head please.” And I mumbled, “Man… this is some BULLSHIT!” He looked up with the “Oh… Really?” face, didn’t pat me down and put out his left hand.
“Sir, please step to your right. NEXT!”
“Ummm… Sir? My plane leaves in less than thirty minutes! What’s the problem?”
“Mr. Dukes, until you calm down then I can not allow you to board this plane?”
Pause: You ever had somebody tell you to calm down prior to you getting upset? Just that statement in itself pisses you off!
Play: “Calm down? Motha F*&$#$ I AM CALM! Pat me down so I CAN GO!!!!” Now all the white people looking with the “Could he be a terrorist” face. I took off my shades and started again, “Do you know who I AM? This is racism! Where is Martin Luther and Malcolm X when you need em! I have NOTHING on me! NOTHING… I promise!” And the security dude said, “Mr. Dukes please calm down. It’s just my job. I have to pat you down. You are entitled to a private screening if you would like.” “Private screening my ASS! I can NOT MISS THAT PLANE!” So I pulled down my shorts and threw off my t-shirt. “Look! NOTHING!”
And white people are freaking out! One lady covered her daughters eyes, and this old white lady, with a cane, bout 70, almost swallowed her teeth and waved a dollar at me. (And of course I took it and gave her my card)
“Sir… please put back on your clothes.”
“Ok… ok…”
And this white dude named Zack was the ONLY reason they let me go. He must have known the security guy and he said, “You see our young brother is going through a lot right now. Let em through… C’mon man… let em through…” And his little son, bout six, helped out, “Yea… let em through…” and they started clapping. Before I knew it, it was 20 white people, chanting and clapping, “Let em… through. Let em through… Let em… through”. NO BULLSHIT!
So they let me go and I made it to the plane. -whew- And it was A LOT of empty seats on the plane. But two seconds before it pulled off, an Arab man got on the plane. It was two empty seats by me, but I was praying that none of these were his seat! -whew- He was in the middle seat in front of me. But the flight attendant suggested for him to sit in MY row instead of making the lady move! GGGRRR… You stupid B*&^%! Now a nigga is SCARED! Like for REAL!
Pause: I don’t know if yall heard or not, but some country has been doing research to implant bombs inside of living people! I’m not sure how far advanced the technology is, but I heard it!
Play: So, I’m watching this guy! Like a HAWK! Yall know I took Karate for about two months when I was nine, so I tried to remember EVERY move I learned. Not a lot of them came to me at the time, but enough did in case some shit popped off! “Left hook, elbow, kick… he’s down. Or… left knee, hi-ya, neck chop… he’s unconscious.” And I LOVE to sleep, but I couldn’t! The WHOLE ride I watched him. I don’t know if he had braces or whatever, but NO LIE… the WHOLE ride this guy had a fish hook, and he was picking stuff out of his teeth and dropping it in this cup! My paranoid self thinking that he’s taking stuff out of his mouth to make a bomb. Not sure how big the bomb was going to be. But I don’t think they even have to be big! I am freaking the F*&^ out!
Even though it’s been YEARS since I’ve taken Karate, I still keep my wrist wrap in my bag. To prepare myself, I started wrapping my wrists just in case… But… Ahhh haaaa *Braxton voice* If he knew I had a lot going for me, he would spare me. And by sparing me, I would save the plane! So I started having casual conversation and showing him pictures. “This… is when I hosted the show at USC. This… is when I went all the way to Florida A&M. You ever been to Florida?” And he nodded his head. Then he told me, “Wait… Wait… Ivse have sumtin’ for you”.
“NO, NO, NO! I don’t want it. I’m fine! Trust me! I’m fine!” And I explained to him that my bag was already 50 pounds and I couldn’t afford to put another ounce inside my bag! -whew- I saved the plane!
The Captain came over the intercom, “Thank for flying CALMT Airlines, where we guarantee Cheap Ass Last Minute Tickets. We are preparing to land. Welcome to Baltimore!”
END of Part TWO
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
I made it to the airport! -whew-. But ALL the Long Term Parking was FULL! Completely FULL! Time winding down, so I just parking in hourly parking! I will only be gone for two days! Why not? #leigo! I parked, jumped out and kept moving. Ran to the service desk, put in the confirmation number and the lady told me, “You need to hurry sir, you plane will leave ON-TIME!” “Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am!”
I RAN up the steps and almost went in the wrong way! But no worries, airport employees are mean as F*&^! White dude told me, “EXCUSE ME! You need to go THAT way!” “Ok… I got it… ok..ok… *K. Hart Voice* Did the security check thing. Took my shoes off. Everything out my pockets and sent my bag down the belt. I had NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING on me! And I had on basketball shorts. So no metal belt, button, nothing! But when I went through the metal detector, the dude said, “Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to pat you down. Hands over your head please.” And I mumbled, “Man… this is some BULLSHIT!” He looked up with the “Oh… Really?” face, didn’t pat me down and put out his left hand.
“Sir, please step to your right. NEXT!”
“Ummm… Sir? My plane leaves in less than thirty minutes! What’s the problem?”
“Mr. Dukes, until you calm down then I can not allow you to board this plane?”
Pause: You ever had somebody tell you to calm down prior to you getting upset? Just that statement in itself pisses you off!
Play: “Calm down? Motha F*&$#$ I AM CALM! Pat me down so I CAN GO!!!!” Now all the white people looking with the “Could he be a terrorist” face. I took off my shades and started again, “Do you know who I AM? This is racism! Where is Martin Luther and Malcolm X when you need em! I have NOTHING on me! NOTHING… I promise!” And the security dude said, “Mr. Dukes please calm down. It’s just my job. I have to pat you down. You are entitled to a private screening if you would like.” “Private screening my ASS! I can NOT MISS THAT PLANE!” So I pulled down my shorts and threw off my t-shirt. “Look! NOTHING!”
And white people are freaking out! One lady covered her daughters eyes, and this old white lady, with a cane, bout 70, almost swallowed her teeth and waved a dollar at me. (And of course I took it and gave her my card)
“Sir… please put back on your clothes.”
“Ok… ok…”
And this white dude named Zack was the ONLY reason they let me go. He must have known the security guy and he said, “You see our young brother is going through a lot right now. Let em through… C’mon man… let em through…” And his little son, bout six, helped out, “Yea… let em through…” and they started clapping. Before I knew it, it was 20 white people, chanting and clapping, “Let em… through. Let em through… Let em… through”. NO BULLSHIT!
So they let me go and I made it to the plane. -whew- And it was A LOT of empty seats on the plane. But two seconds before it pulled off, an Arab man got on the plane. It was two empty seats by me, but I was praying that none of these were his seat! -whew- He was in the middle seat in front of me. But the flight attendant suggested for him to sit in MY row instead of making the lady move! GGGRRR… You stupid B*&^%! Now a nigga is SCARED! Like for REAL!
Pause: I don’t know if yall heard or not, but some country has been doing research to implant bombs inside of living people! I’m not sure how far advanced the technology is, but I heard it!
Play: So, I’m watching this guy! Like a HAWK! Yall know I took Karate for about two months when I was nine, so I tried to remember EVERY move I learned. Not a lot of them came to me at the time, but enough did in case some shit popped off! “Left hook, elbow, kick… he’s down. Or… left knee, hi-ya, neck chop… he’s unconscious.” And I LOVE to sleep, but I couldn’t! The WHOLE ride I watched him. I don’t know if he had braces or whatever, but NO LIE… the WHOLE ride this guy had a fish hook, and he was picking stuff out of his teeth and dropping it in this cup! My paranoid self thinking that he’s taking stuff out of his mouth to make a bomb. Not sure how big the bomb was going to be. But I don’t think they even have to be big! I am freaking the F*&^ out!
Even though it’s been YEARS since I’ve taken Karate, I still keep my wrist wrap in my bag. To prepare myself, I started wrapping my wrists just in case… But… Ahhh haaaa *Braxton voice* If he knew I had a lot going for me, he would spare me. And by sparing me, I would save the plane! So I started having casual conversation and showing him pictures. “This… is when I hosted the show at USC. This… is when I went all the way to Florida A&M. You ever been to Florida?” And he nodded his head. Then he told me, “Wait… Wait… Ivse have sumtin’ for you”.
“NO, NO, NO! I don’t want it. I’m fine! Trust me! I’m fine!” And I explained to him that my bag was already 50 pounds and I couldn’t afford to put another ounce inside my bag! -whew- I saved the plane!
The Captain came over the intercom, “Thank for flying CALMT Airlines, where we guarantee Cheap Ass Last Minute Tickets. We are preparing to land. Welcome to Baltimore!”
END of Part TWO
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Centennial Recap: Stuff I Probably Shouldn’t Tell You… Part 1 of (Who knows)
Disclaimer: I'm still high off of The Delta's Regional Conference Step Show. If you all have ANY video or pictures PLEASE send it to me. I'm NEED that! And since The Clave was OVER a week ago, I hope this doesn't get me in any trouble. It's old news, right?
I’m checking my emails on Friday evening and it reads, “The last LS bruh (Pause: LS is for our chapter name. And it doesn’t stand for Lambda Sigma, it stands for Long-Stroke Chapter. Play) “The last LS bruh has touched down."<---- This was from my Tre Dawg, Eric Jordan. And at this point I’m HURTIN! And SEVERAL different things are running through my mind. Like,
I’m checking my emails on Friday evening and it reads, “The last LS bruh (Pause: LS is for our chapter name. And it doesn’t stand for Lambda Sigma, it stands for Long-Stroke Chapter. Play) “The last LS bruh has touched down."<---- This was from my Tre Dawg, Eric Jordan. And at this point I’m HURTIN! And SEVERAL different things are running through my mind. Like,
“Why… the HELL am I at home?”
“What tha F*&^ am I doing in my room?”
“Who am… I?”
And I looked at a bottle of pills, thinking to myself, “I can’t take this ish man! 4real.” Almost in tears, I grabbed the bottle… “NOOOOOOOO!” And threw it across the room. Pause: It was a bottle of One-A-Day Gummies though. So, I wouldn’t have killed myself. I would’ve just been up, not tired, not sleepy, for three whole days. But just the fact that I felt THAT crazy. Play: So, I deleted every Twitter app I had, cut my phone off, threw my head under the covers. Only good thing is that my show is tomorrow. So suck it up Dukes. GOODNIGHT!
Alarm went off and I jumped up. Beautiful morning, crickets singing a new song, clothes pressed, it’s shower time and I’m on the way to work 45 minutes early humming all the way… di da dit da do… Ummmm…NO! That’s not how it went. I woke up and thought I was in DC. I woke up talking ish, “Yall get up. Aey… Kahlil, Ashton, EJ… get UP! Da Bruhz don’t sleep!” WHOA! “I’m NOT in DC? WHAT THA F*&^! Shhhhhiiiiittttt… And at that time I looked at the clock and it was 6:15. I have to be on-air at SEVEN o’clock and I stay 30 minutes away. Man… REAL rough morning.
I pulled up to our show at 6:59. DJ John G tossed me the mic and of course I dropped it because I’m not an athlete. But I picked it up and he counted me down, 3...2..1... “A Yeeezzzuuurrr… It’s The Say it Ain’t So Saturday Morning Show. Ya Main Man, Jay Dukes and Sheba Foxx. We are live at Waffle House on Haywood Road. Get up, get out and get here! On 107.3 Jamz.”
“Good job Dukes.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“WHHHAAATTTT…? What did I do to you?”
“My bad John. It’s not you. I’m having a rough morning.”
“Oh… Ok. You good? You want to talk about it?”
“Fuck you… I mean… Nah, I’m good.”
Pause: Do you have an overly concerned friend? Like, they think they are a counselor or something? But NOT! Because if I really told him what was wrong, was he going to use Urkel’s teleportation device to get me there? Noooo… So, why does it even matter! Play:
The show went by soooo slow. After I played Michael Jackson three times, kissed a couple babies AND ate breakfast, I looked at the clock and it was only 7:02. Come on man…
Ok, the show was OVER! We went back to the station. And I just felt sick. Like ready to throw up type ish. I knew EJ was there, but I called Ashton and he hit me with the sleepy voice. “Whoa. Ashton, where you at? You at The Clave?”
“Why nigga? You ain’t here.”
WHHHAAATTTTT…? Ashton’s there TOO? So, I’m the ONLY one that didn’t make it? No! Stop! That’s gay! I felt like the little dude on The Sandlot in the pool scene, “I can’t take it, I can’t take it anymore.” And I told myself, I’m getting on this internet and booking the FIRST plane ticket and taking off. F*&^ it!
Pause: All jokes aside, my ace, Michael Maxwell, passed on Thanksgiving Night, November 26th, 2009. Like he’s not here anymore. So, I REALLY take spending time with those I care about like really REALLY serious. No bs. I will drive hundreds of miles just to see somebody special. Here today, gone tomorrow. You never know man. Give people their flowers while they’re living. It hit me so bad that I won’t even spend my birthday with a female. I get together with people who have been and will be there. Seriously… So, I thought about it. I won’t be here to see the next hundred years. Once in a lifetime opportunity. Go man… GO! Stop thinking, just GO! Play:
So, I told myself, “I’m getting on this internet and booking the VERY FIRST plane ticket I see. Ok… GSP… to Washington… Non-stop… Delta… loading… loading… Ok. Got it. Seven HUNDRED and FIFTY dollars???? F*&^% NO! Ok, not the first. Let’s try the second? $600 dollars???? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO! I went down to the 6th ticket and copped that one. Flying out of Charlotte at 2:50. Will arrive at BWI at 4:15. Called my Lbs. “I’m on the way bruhz! See you in a few. Yall better know I love yall.” Now that’s OWT!
I finally left the crib at 12:00. Traffic was CA-RAZZZYYYY… If I was going to make it, I was going to have to DRIVE! And I already bought this ticket, so man… I’m in there! And yall KNOW I can NOT afford anymore tickets! “Jesus… help me please…”
End of Part ONE...
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Monday, August 8, 2011
And That's Fine Ma'am
Disclaimer: Some of yall might HATE me after this blog. I’m trying to put this as nice as I can, but when I write stuff like this, I’m driven by emotion. I apologize in advance, NOT for what I’m about to say, but how it may come off to some people. Welp, Here it goes:
This lady came to the 107.3 Jamz Traffic Jam this morning where Cricket and myself were working! Off the bat, I could tell that something was a little off with her. Her hair was wrapped with gray hairs sticking out underneath, fire red eye-balls with heavy bags under them. Instead of speaking or saying, “Hey… What’s going on here?” Her first words were, “Why are yall out here? Every time I go into that store, those white people are so NASTY to me…”
I replied, “Oh…No… Not these people. And they are giving away free sausage biscuits and coffee while we are here.”
“Hmph. Watch I go into this store and they don’t say two words to me.”
THEN… Out of ALL things Cricket could say… AND we had a couple options like
1.) “Ma’am, I can walk in with you.” or 2.) “They came out here and were very nice.” or 3.) We know these people very well.
CRICKET decided to say… “Ma’am, you just gotta kill em with kindness.”
AND she F*&^%$’ FLIPPED! She straight snapped on Cricket! She turned around and went IN!
“That’s a lie! No ma’am, that’s a LIE! And it angers me that as a society we have been forced to believe that. As educated African-Americans we do NOT have to take ANY mistreatment AT ALL. In today’s time we would like to think that we have moved past being looked down on by the white man. But I say we do it to ourselves by statements like THAT! *blows hot air* and mumbles ‘Gotta give em time!’ my a-.”
And even though that was NOT what Cricket said, instead of just letting the disturbed lady WALK AWAY… Cricket decides to clear her name by saying, “Well… Well… that’s not what I said ma’am. I said you have to kill em with kindness”. And she SNAPPED AGAIN!!!!
“What???? Kill em with kindness? That also is a LIE! A LIEEEE!!!! And as young African-Americans, I refuse to accept that YOU believe that. That’s what you have been TAUGHT. But have you thought about it for yourselves?”
At this point I’m looking off in the clouds because I’m in the process of tuning her out. Because if we listen, or not, she was going to keep talking. She went on, “Perfect example, I used to work at a Chemistry lab over 35 years ago. With extremely dangerous acids and chemicals. And if I would turn my back for THREE seconds those WHITE people would adjust my measurements or beakers or whatever so that when I would return to my station, ACID would spill on my hands. Stuff strong enough to burn my fingers OFF! And you think I had to kill em with kindness? NO! Stressses of the world and the way we treat one another are causing the world to run amuck. Look at Eddie Long. Yea… He did it. And I don’t blame the little boys, I don’t blame him, I blame his WIFE! Because she has openly confessed that the things that went on were TRUE, but she still chose to stand beside that man through it all…”
I’m holding a pen because I knew were she was going. I’m just shaking my head and squeezing the pen.
“Because Eddie Long and those boys were BORN THAT WAY!”
And I SNAPPED the pen *crack* and then I opened my mouth, “Ma’am… I refuse to believe that.”
“So, young man, you are telling me that homosexuality is a choice?”
“Yes… I believe so! And it’s wrong?”
“It’s WRONG?”
“Yes ma’am. God calls homosexuality an abomination. An abomination is worst than a sin, in my book. Because He would have just called it a sin. But He called it an abomination.”
“What about when God says…”
“Just pause right there ma’am, because people twist scriptures to believe what they want to believe.”
“You are right.”
“And I personally believe that homosexuality is a choice and it’s wrong! #thatisall…”
I lifted the sleeve of my shirt to rub my brand and she started AGAIN, “Oh… And you are Greek? Hmph. You know The Lord say don’t mark your body. What do you think about that? Huh? Huh? Since you know so much about The Bible.”
“Ma’am… I don’t know that much about The Bible. I would like to, but I don’t. I just know the things that I firmly believe and what I stand on. And I ALSO think it’s wrong for you to try and force your beliefs on me. You believe what you want to believe.”
Ok… Here goes nothing…
Religion is a VERY VERY touchy subject. You have so many different religions and with Christianity alone you have SO MANY different denominations. So at the end of the day, you honestly have what YOU believe, what I believe and THE TRUTH. And the argument is what’s THE TRUTH?!?! I believe, keyword I, that Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed his blood for all of our sins. By accepting Jesus as MY Lord and Savior, I will have eternal life with him in HEAVEN!
And YOU might believe in Alah and 32 virgins or whatever…
At the end of the day, I do NOT CARE that much about your LIFE! Point, blank, period! I only care that much about my inner-circle. That’s my family and my wife. OUR morals need to line up! But Keisha and Bernard, I… don’t… give a FLIP! I REALLY don’t. You can only live YOUR life and YOU have to deal with the consequences YOU make. So have fun. I’m not going to judge you. I honestly think people care TOO much about the way OTHERS live their life. I believe there is a Heaven and HELL. Period! But how can I convince somebody to “get right” because they don’t want to go to Hell if they don’t even believe in it? So, should I waste my breath? Perfect example: My mom can take the rack out of the oven with her bare hands. She doesn’t BELIEVE that it’s that hot. I BELIEVE that that’s crazy and I REFUSE to do it. Gimme the oven mitt!
So with homosexuality, I believe that it is an ABOMINATION to God. And what REALLY upsets me is when Christians accept a homosexual lifestyle by claiming they were born that way. Pause: The CLOSEST thing I can get to that “born that way" statement is that it was accepted at a young age. Junk in, junk out. What you put in your spirit will eventually come out. I have SO much respect for my cousin. I still remember this today. My little cousin is in high school now. But when he was younger, about 4, he was the only boy at Thanksgiving. His sister had about 3 girls with her. They had dolls and all kind of cool stuff for girls. As a four-year old you just want company. He walked over to the girls play area and grabbed a doll. His dad snatched the doll from his hand and said, “No… No… son. You don’t play with dolls. Here, play with your trucks. Your trucks!” He was taught early the way a young man should act and the things a young man should do. Play: And you ever notice that homosexuals know The Bible more than we do? They know every scripture that helps them in an argument…So, I don’t even choose to get into an argument with one. My stance is… “I believe what I believe. Do you."
And we can even lighten up the situation. Let’s talk Greek. The dumbest conversation to me is when one frat tries to justify why his organization is better than another. That was the best organization for YOU! And other fraternities even know MY history! It blows me away. The purpose? To justify everything we did for society in comparison to what THEY did! And wait… Those where your founders! Or your frat brothers back in 1973. What did YOU do for your organization Mister? *crickets* A lot of Undergraduate Greeks are BRAINWASHED. They don’t grasps the concept that this is REALLY for a LIFETIME! Most undergrads decide to become Greek to be apart of a winning team. If I’m wrong, tell me I’m wrong. A young man who wanted to be a Kappa all his life pledged Sigma because The Kappas were off the yard. #sad. Do me a favor. Ask somebody why did they become greek. They might answer: “Because I fell in love with the sisterhood and all the service we do.” That’s the WEAKEST answer ALIVE! EVER! Because doesn’t EVERY sorority/fraternity stand for some sort of sisterhood/brotherhood & service?
My answer: I became an Omega Man because of the positive influences on my life happen to all be Omega Men. Also, they didn’t do it for recognition or anything like that. Upstanding African-American men with a genuine heart for helping this struggling young African-American man do better. I owe it to them and those who will come after me to continue that positive circle of influence. And I shortly found out, it was the BEST decision of my life!
So, just a little advice. Undergrad is only FOUR YEARS! Don’t think now. I didn’t. Honestly, I got to school and other organizations were getting all girls AND running ish! But I KNEW that wasn’t in my heart. I was going to be an OMEGA MAN. So, don’t measure the popularity or the current “status” of the organization by the chapter you see on the yard! PLEASE… PLEASE… PLEASE… it’s much bigger than that. Think about the organization as a WHOLE and what assets you can bring the table.
Summary:
1.) If you cared about yourself more than being a busy body you wouldn’t stress so much.
2.) I don’t hate gay people. I just don’t agree with it.
3.) Don’t take my advice.
4.) Sorry it was so long.
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The 25th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show- My Recap
Disclaimer: I can NEVER forget this show. August 5th, 2011 goes into my mental calendar because it was a GREAT show. A MAJOR milestone in my career, because this was the first show EVER that I had the mindset of intentionally telling jokes on stage. So, not just rocking with the dj and cracking on people. I wrote out my material, practiced, stressed out about it, AND called people to critique me! Welp… Here it goes:
Thursday night I got home (still on full) and set my alarm for 4:00 am! Had to get up and broadcast from Anderson in the morning, which is an hour away. Alarm… set and Goodnight!
I slept STRAIGHT through my alarm. Seriously… I rode with Cricket to work. I woke up to a text at 4:45 that said, “I’m on the way”. And I blinked ONE time, I promise, and the next text I saw at 5:05 was, “I’m outside!” Oh… ish! I called her, “Dang… Cricket. I’m F*&^%$ up!? Give me five minutes.” I took a bird shower, brushed my teeth and threw my deodorant, lotion and other ish in a bag. Man… They JUST warned us about being late! Cricket doing a hundred on the highway, but The Lord was with us. We actually got there on-time, set-up and everything… Ok… Nine o’clock. Pack up and #leigo!
Got to the crib and took a nap. Pause: Sleeping helps me think. I honestly believe that The Lord speaks to us through dreams. Play: Got up and called my cuzzo, Nebo. “Aey.. Cuzzo. Show in Charleston tonight. U rollin?” “Man… Hell yea.”
“Bet.”
My brother, Josh, called me, “I’m still good to roll?”
“Yea… Be there in an hour.”
“Bet.”
Went to scoop my brother, and we were on the way to Columbia! Woot! Woot! Let’s do this!!!!
My brother starts our FAVORITE conversation: “I got females in Charleston! I told them you were hosting the show and they want to meet you!”
“Ohh… No…sir! I’m NOT going down here to get in any trouble. Get thee behind me Satan.”
Then he showed me a picture
“Ummm… Man… What’s her number? You know, in case we get lost.”
“RIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTT…”
Had to stop on the way to get some gas. And this little white boy, bout 4 years old, was kicking and screaming. Crying his little heart out. So, I take out my phone for evidence in case I had to snitch on anybody. Also, if he did anything funny he would make me a Youtube star. But he was really showing out. His PREGNANT mother tried to put him in the van and he’s holding on to the side of the van for dear life. At this point I’m concerned because something serious could be happening right now. But then… all that concerned ish went out the window when he took a break from crying to scream, “I WANT MY LIFESAVERS… I… WANT… MY… LIFESAVERS!!!!” WTF? U bad ass little boy! So me and my brother looked at each other, shrugged and said, “They need to beat him”. And we were back on the road!
How about a Hurricane was in Columbia! And it was raining HARD!!!!! Crazy… People on the highway going 45 miles an hour. But I can’t afford to follow behind them because it was already 6:15 and the show starts at 9:00. So, I’m driving off the highway on the grass passing people. Very… very dangerous. But it was a RUSH… Woooooo… Excuse me… VVRRRMMM… Probably the dumbest thing I did in a while. Pause: Not as dumb as the actions that occurred that time this prostitute gave us her card in Vegas. But anyway… Play: We start seeing Columbia signs. I called my cuzzo, “We 10 minutes from Columbia cuzzo. How do I get to you? WHAT…? Hello… Boy, you sleep?”
“What? I mean yea… I mean… nah… Where yall at?”
“Ten minutes out.”
“Oh… I stay in Sandhills now!”
“Where tha F*&^ is that?”
“I will text you the address.”
“Bet.”
I put the address in my phone and this Sandhills place is a WHOLE 40 minutes from 26! C’mon man… I thought about saying, “You need to meet us there. We cutting it too close.” But I couldn’t do my cuzzo like that… But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to!
We driving and it’s STILL raining cats and cows and sea horses. The average speed is 35 miles an hour AND… I-26 was backed up to damn near Spartanburg! #allbad! We didn’t have a helicopter so it looked as if we were STUCK! But nooooo… Cuzzo came to the rescue. We drove back roads ALL the way to Charleston! But the bad part was time wasn’t on our side. Still 2 hours from Charleston, it was 7:15. I’m kind of stressing, but it wasn’t anything I could do about. Just anxious to get out of the car. When we got TEN minutes away from the venue it FINALLY stopped raining! Ain’t that crazy???
We arrived at 8:45. I called Amanda Wise and this was the convo,
“What up babe? We turning in”.
“Good. Just go to The Convention Center and they will tell you where to go.”
“Ummm… Where’s my dressing room? Oh… And I need an iron, please babe.”
“Jay Dukes? Don’t play with me! You don’t get an iron when you show up 15 minutes before the show starts.”
“Oh… snap? That’s real. Hmph. Guess I will see you in there.”
We hop out the car. Cuzzo too focused on being pretty so he has his shirt still in the cleaners bag. And I told him, we don’t have time for you to put your shirt on! Let’s go! So, this linebacker looking guy is walking in front of me wearing just a tank top clearing the way. “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. I have the host here. Excuse me real quick ma’am. Thank you…”
We made it up the stairs and get stopped by the people in charge.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Jay Dukes.”
“And????”
“I’m the host. The emcee!”
“Oh… Good. Now we just waiting on the dj.”
Aight, bet. So I’m not the ultimate reason the show will be late. So, we were right on time. Not too bad. And ole’ girl wasn’t playing. All the dressing rooms were full for real. But since I’ve been working out and I’m not ashamed of any part of my body (ahem), I got dressed in the hallway. Why not???? No iron! I just thought, “If I rock the show like I practiced then they won’t even remember my shirt being wrinkled…”
Amanda saw me backstage and hit me with the, “You’re on in THREE minutes. U ready?” “Yes ma’am. Let’s do this!” I thought the dj was going to introduce me or something, but NO! lol… One of the Deltas walked me out and said, “GO!” WHOA! Like for real? Oh… Ok. “Welcome to The 25th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show…”
(I really can’t put the actual show in words because it was one of those unforgettable experiences type thing! Thank you all soooo much for the love and support and the TWEETS! Really means much more than you will EVER know! If you missed it… TOO BAD! Catch my next one! All I can say is Tupac’s song needs to be remixed to say, “D…S…T… knows how to party.” Instead of California. Aey… and does anyone know where the pictures and video will be?)
After my shows, I ALWAYS show my appreciation by sitting on the stage and waiting for anybody who might want my contact info or pictures. And even though, I like to think I’m a celebrity sometimes, it’s evident that “I’m not a star… Somebody lied”. Because I only took about six pictures! Several people passed me and said, “Great job”. But yea.. Only six pictures. Lol… But trust and believe one day soon, my publicist is going to have to make an announcement, “NO more pictures people. He has to go!” Watch me!!!! Oh… And a VERY VERY important lady came by to meet me. To, “Put the face with the name”. Right then, the only person who would have made me smile bigger than I did would have been Oprah. (But I forgot yall denied her! I can’t wait till Oprah makes her OWN sorority and pays her members to join. #imjussayin. Lol…) In all seriousness, I can’t wait to do it again! Thank you all for the love. This could have very well been my best show to date. (tear)
~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”
Thursday night I got home (still on full) and set my alarm for 4:00 am! Had to get up and broadcast from Anderson in the morning, which is an hour away. Alarm… set and Goodnight!
I slept STRAIGHT through my alarm. Seriously… I rode with Cricket to work. I woke up to a text at 4:45 that said, “I’m on the way”. And I blinked ONE time, I promise, and the next text I saw at 5:05 was, “I’m outside!” Oh… ish! I called her, “Dang… Cricket. I’m F*&^%$ up!? Give me five minutes.” I took a bird shower, brushed my teeth and threw my deodorant, lotion and other ish in a bag. Man… They JUST warned us about being late! Cricket doing a hundred on the highway, but The Lord was with us. We actually got there on-time, set-up and everything… Ok… Nine o’clock. Pack up and #leigo!
Got to the crib and took a nap. Pause: Sleeping helps me think. I honestly believe that The Lord speaks to us through dreams. Play: Got up and called my cuzzo, Nebo. “Aey.. Cuzzo. Show in Charleston tonight. U rollin?” “Man… Hell yea.”
“Bet.”
My brother, Josh, called me, “I’m still good to roll?”
“Yea… Be there in an hour.”
“Bet.”
Went to scoop my brother, and we were on the way to Columbia! Woot! Woot! Let’s do this!!!!
My brother starts our FAVORITE conversation: “I got females in Charleston! I told them you were hosting the show and they want to meet you!”
“Ohh… No…sir! I’m NOT going down here to get in any trouble. Get thee behind me Satan.”
Then he showed me a picture
“Ummm… Man… What’s her number? You know, in case we get lost.”
“RIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTT…”
Had to stop on the way to get some gas. And this little white boy, bout 4 years old, was kicking and screaming. Crying his little heart out. So, I take out my phone for evidence in case I had to snitch on anybody. Also, if he did anything funny he would make me a Youtube star. But he was really showing out. His PREGNANT mother tried to put him in the van and he’s holding on to the side of the van for dear life. At this point I’m concerned because something serious could be happening right now. But then… all that concerned ish went out the window when he took a break from crying to scream, “I WANT MY LIFESAVERS… I… WANT… MY… LIFESAVERS!!!!” WTF? U bad ass little boy! So me and my brother looked at each other, shrugged and said, “They need to beat him”. And we were back on the road!
How about a Hurricane was in Columbia! And it was raining HARD!!!!! Crazy… People on the highway going 45 miles an hour. But I can’t afford to follow behind them because it was already 6:15 and the show starts at 9:00. So, I’m driving off the highway on the grass passing people. Very… very dangerous. But it was a RUSH… Woooooo… Excuse me… VVRRRMMM… Probably the dumbest thing I did in a while. Pause: Not as dumb as the actions that occurred that time this prostitute gave us her card in Vegas. But anyway… Play: We start seeing Columbia signs. I called my cuzzo, “We 10 minutes from Columbia cuzzo. How do I get to you? WHAT…? Hello… Boy, you sleep?”
“What? I mean yea… I mean… nah… Where yall at?”
“Ten minutes out.”
“Oh… I stay in Sandhills now!”
“Where tha F*&^ is that?”
“I will text you the address.”
“Bet.”
I put the address in my phone and this Sandhills place is a WHOLE 40 minutes from 26! C’mon man… I thought about saying, “You need to meet us there. We cutting it too close.” But I couldn’t do my cuzzo like that… But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to!
We driving and it’s STILL raining cats and cows and sea horses. The average speed is 35 miles an hour AND… I-26 was backed up to damn near Spartanburg! #allbad! We didn’t have a helicopter so it looked as if we were STUCK! But nooooo… Cuzzo came to the rescue. We drove back roads ALL the way to Charleston! But the bad part was time wasn’t on our side. Still 2 hours from Charleston, it was 7:15. I’m kind of stressing, but it wasn’t anything I could do about. Just anxious to get out of the car. When we got TEN minutes away from the venue it FINALLY stopped raining! Ain’t that crazy???
We arrived at 8:45. I called Amanda Wise and this was the convo,
“What up babe? We turning in”.
“Good. Just go to The Convention Center and they will tell you where to go.”
“Ummm… Where’s my dressing room? Oh… And I need an iron, please babe.”
“Jay Dukes? Don’t play with me! You don’t get an iron when you show up 15 minutes before the show starts.”
“Oh… snap? That’s real. Hmph. Guess I will see you in there.”
We hop out the car. Cuzzo too focused on being pretty so he has his shirt still in the cleaners bag. And I told him, we don’t have time for you to put your shirt on! Let’s go! So, this linebacker looking guy is walking in front of me wearing just a tank top clearing the way. “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. I have the host here. Excuse me real quick ma’am. Thank you…”
We made it up the stairs and get stopped by the people in charge.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Jay Dukes.”
“And????”
“I’m the host. The emcee!”
“Oh… Good. Now we just waiting on the dj.”
Aight, bet. So I’m not the ultimate reason the show will be late. So, we were right on time. Not too bad. And ole’ girl wasn’t playing. All the dressing rooms were full for real. But since I’ve been working out and I’m not ashamed of any part of my body (ahem), I got dressed in the hallway. Why not???? No iron! I just thought, “If I rock the show like I practiced then they won’t even remember my shirt being wrinkled…”
Amanda saw me backstage and hit me with the, “You’re on in THREE minutes. U ready?” “Yes ma’am. Let’s do this!” I thought the dj was going to introduce me or something, but NO! lol… One of the Deltas walked me out and said, “GO!” WHOA! Like for real? Oh… Ok. “Welcome to The 25th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show…”
(I really can’t put the actual show in words because it was one of those unforgettable experiences type thing! Thank you all soooo much for the love and support and the TWEETS! Really means much more than you will EVER know! If you missed it… TOO BAD! Catch my next one! All I can say is Tupac’s song needs to be remixed to say, “D…S…T… knows how to party.” Instead of California. Aey… and does anyone know where the pictures and video will be?)
After my shows, I ALWAYS show my appreciation by sitting on the stage and waiting for anybody who might want my contact info or pictures. And even though, I like to think I’m a celebrity sometimes, it’s evident that “I’m not a star… Somebody lied”. Because I only took about six pictures! Several people passed me and said, “Great job”. But yea.. Only six pictures. Lol… But trust and believe one day soon, my publicist is going to have to make an announcement, “NO more pictures people. He has to go!” Watch me!!!! Oh… And a VERY VERY important lady came by to meet me. To, “Put the face with the name”. Right then, the only person who would have made me smile bigger than I did would have been Oprah. (But I forgot yall denied her! I can’t wait till Oprah makes her OWN sorority and pays her members to join. #imjussayin. Lol…) In all seriousness, I can’t wait to do it again! Thank you all for the love. This could have very well been my best show to date. (tear)
~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”
Thursday, August 4, 2011
CCB for YOU!----> Mr. Bring the WHOLE City OUT aka Mr. Hungreeboy
Hungreeboy Entertainment? Mr. Hungreeboy? #TeamHungreeboy? #TeamHungreegirl?<---- All terms associated with the The Club Killer----> Graylon! From Greenville, SC, what he calls The Ville'. Definitely putting on for The 864. This is my dude. And contrary to what you all my think, yes it's ALL LOVE! When you are a grinder, with whatever you do, you HAVE to respect other grinders! This guy has been at it for a minute and a perfect example of the statement, "Hard work pays off!" (Look at him now, he's getting paaaapppppeeeerrrr... *Chris Brown Voice*) My hat goes off to this man! Everytime we come together it's history in the making! So, whoever said History repeats itself, must have been talking about The Dynamic Duo. I even had to break up the interview into two parts because we had too much fun! Tune in as he talks about his major moves, what's next and life in general. But, man... Ladies and Gentlemen... Mr. Way Too Packed aka Mr. Bring The Whole City Out aka Mr. Make It Happen aka Mr. Youngest in Charge... MR. HUNGREEBOY!
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
CCB for YOU!----> Hello World... This is Benjamin Starr
Real humble, hungry guy. He's definitely someone to watch! This cat is BLAZIN' right now! Coming out of The Low Country Region of South Carolina, 843 stand up! But once you listen to his story and his music, you will definitely want to claim him no matter what area code you are from. This guy is NOTHING like the industry right now. And I mean that in a GREAT way. I don't know if this was a rumor or not, I forgot to ask, but I heard... That Benjamin Starr's second mixtape on DatPiff.com was ranked FOURTH in the WORLD for Indie artists! Think about how BIG that is? In the WHOLE world, Benjamin Starr, out of South Carolina, was ranked Number FOUR out of EVERY unsigned artist(s) in the UNIVERSE?!?!?!?!?!? And now his latest mixtape is Sponsored! WOW... LET'S F-IN' GO!!!!! Big S/O to Higher Level Entertainment. Yall get with this dude NOW! Check out his music and support starting NOW!!!! Don't wait! You can't catch a train when it's moving full speed!
Download Mixtape | Free Mixtapes Provided by DatPiff.com
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Download Mixtape | Free Mixtapes Provided by DatPiff.com
Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Just Got Off The Phone w/ Karma and yea... She STILL a B*&^%
Disclaimer: In the following blog I just might be feeling myself for TWO reasons.
1.) Because I’m hosting the Delta’s Regional Conference’s Step Show THIS Friday in Charleston, SC.
2.) Because I’m over 4-THOUSAND hits on here in less than FOUR weeks! Amazing… Welp… Here it goes:
Karma is REAL! She doesn’t have a color or race. All I know is that she has a perfect body, or a fat ass or long hair or nice teeth. All things I want and need. But she doesn’t play fair. Beyonce has a song titled the Best Thing I Never Had. Please… don’t judge me and do NOT call me a B&^%$, but that is my SHIT! And the reason it is, is #allbad. The reason is because the first time I heard that ish, I thought about all the females who were currently singing it on my behalf. And trust me, that is NOTHING to be proud of. But that ish is real!
Currently, I feel like Karma is kicking my ASS! And I honestly feel like females don’t have this problem. Why? Because of this thing called CLOSURE! Wait… for it… Wait… for it… But check: Before females carry through the action of any grimy ish they thought about for a while, they HAVE to have that last conversation. If you a real nigga, then you KNOW losing ANY p**** is like losing a lung. But you know one is about to fly away when they are asking for Closure. That means another dude is, or has been, knocking on the door for the longest, but they still messing with ya “can’t get right” ass and they don’t want to feel like a whore! This is how you know you about to lose one. They get too emotional. Just a random burst of emotion. Either tears or a 911 urgent, “We REALLY need to talk!” call
“Yes babe? What’s wrong?”
“Face to face please…”
“Ok…”
You come over. And they start the conversation… “Babe, for real what are we doing? Have I done anything wrong? I need some… (deep breath) CLOSURE…”
FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK… As a nigga, do you let it go by telling the truth or make it sound good? Of course you make it sound good! “Baby… What u mean…? What you saying…?”
But at the closure stage, it might as well be an ultimatum. “Baby… what u mean… what u saying…” didn’t sound like, “You know I love you and I want to make you my lady!” So she has just washed her hands with the situation. And BET MONEY in less than 3 weeks, she will have a profile picture kissing another dude in the bathroom mirror.
And just like females, niggas need CLOSURE too! Pause: WTF Dukes? Speak for yourself! Uh… yea… Chill, chill. Hear me out! Play: For niggas, it’s not a “We’re over” closure, it’s a reconciliation type closure. As a retired man whore, once life hits you, you realize that just a simple apology could have avoided her bleaching your clothes or putting sugar in your Lb’s gas tank. So as a dude, our closure is more of a safety precaution. Let the situation calm down a little bit and now let’s see if we can be “friends”. Because we need to KNOW if I see you in the mall, am I looking to get a hug or looking to get smacked in the face. So, after a couple of weeks, you might shoot over a text, “Hello there Miss Lady? How you been?” or “Thought about you. Hope all is well.” or “Haven’t heard from you in a while. U good?”<------- All random (Man closure) texts. Because if we can be FRIENDS… then everybody wins.
Pause: Just my opinion, you can NOT be just friends with somebody that you used to sex on the regular. NO real dude can honestly tell me that. From a dude’s stand point, being friends REALLY means- I need her to be comfortable with me again. But in the back of my head, I’m hoping that I get to f&^% sometime soon. But don’t rush it, and just play your position. Because the friend is the dude that wins! If you fall into the friend zone, you have ALL types of privileges that non-friends don’t have. As the friend, you have to be concerned about EVERYTHING. And the female tells the “friend” shit that happens. But the crazy part is that the friend ONLY knows about the bad ish. “OOOO… Dukes. Guess what? He bought me some roses!” I don’t give a F*&^ about that so my response is, “uh…huh. Ummm… Did you have to work today?” But let her EVEN mumble, “Uggghhh… He makes me sick!” My response, “What tha F*&^ happened?!” And as the “friend” she will proceed to tell me EVERYTHING about the situation. So, now… I’m taking notes. Like watching film. And I can use those notes to go back to practice, because if I stick around long enough when the dude blows a knee or gets a concussion … Guess what?! I’m IN the GAME!
Play: Back to Karma. Sometimes you gotta just say “FUCK IT”. As a dude, we tend to try to fix things that don’t even need to be fixed. And this is ALL for self. The closure thing. “I need to move on with my life, but I can’t because of Lacey.” And it’s not that I think about Lacey day and night, I honestly just think, “Does Lacey still hate me?” Because my life would be going MUCH better if she was one less enemy. Honestly, I don’t know if she has a voodoo doll or whatever. So, this needs to be clear. And also, I want to have a daughter one day. So, if I take the time to “get right” with my past then hopefully she won’t have to go through what I put females through. You feel me? So, my advice is get it right the FIRST time. Seriously… Why go back and put yourself through the same hurt? People change! That physical attraction might be the same, but people grow- mentally and spiritually. That girl you fell in love with in college, might not be the same woman you saw at Wal-Mart yesterday. So… do NOT bank on “old faithful”. The following is the REALEST shit I ever wrote:
“I tried to go back to re-write all of my wrongs,
But I can’t, cause all my ex’s already moved on…”
So… FUCK IT!!!!! And get over it. You don’t even cross her mind anymore. And trying to get back in the friend zone is going to take a good 20-25 percent. And you wonder why the one you really want isn’t giving her all, because it’s too obvious that she’s only getting 75-80 percent. You say don’t put all of your eggs in one basket? But SSSSHHHHIIIITTTTT… You can damn sure throw the cracked ones AWAY!
Summary:
1.) Closure is that FINAL statement. Go big or go HOME!
2.) Friends with benefits are winning right now.
3.) I am the Easter Egg Hunt KING!
4.) Don’t take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
1.) Because I’m hosting the Delta’s Regional Conference’s Step Show THIS Friday in Charleston, SC.
2.) Because I’m over 4-THOUSAND hits on here in less than FOUR weeks! Amazing… Welp… Here it goes:
Karma is REAL! She doesn’t have a color or race. All I know is that she has a perfect body, or a fat ass or long hair or nice teeth. All things I want and need. But she doesn’t play fair. Beyonce has a song titled the Best Thing I Never Had. Please… don’t judge me and do NOT call me a B&^%$, but that is my SHIT! And the reason it is, is #allbad. The reason is because the first time I heard that ish, I thought about all the females who were currently singing it on my behalf. And trust me, that is NOTHING to be proud of. But that ish is real!
Currently, I feel like Karma is kicking my ASS! And I honestly feel like females don’t have this problem. Why? Because of this thing called CLOSURE! Wait… for it… Wait… for it… But check: Before females carry through the action of any grimy ish they thought about for a while, they HAVE to have that last conversation. If you a real nigga, then you KNOW losing ANY p**** is like losing a lung. But you know one is about to fly away when they are asking for Closure. That means another dude is, or has been, knocking on the door for the longest, but they still messing with ya “can’t get right” ass and they don’t want to feel like a whore! This is how you know you about to lose one. They get too emotional. Just a random burst of emotion. Either tears or a 911 urgent, “We REALLY need to talk!” call
“Yes babe? What’s wrong?”
“Face to face please…”
“Ok…”
You come over. And they start the conversation… “Babe, for real what are we doing? Have I done anything wrong? I need some… (deep breath) CLOSURE…”
FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK… As a nigga, do you let it go by telling the truth or make it sound good? Of course you make it sound good! “Baby… What u mean…? What you saying…?”
But at the closure stage, it might as well be an ultimatum. “Baby… what u mean… what u saying…” didn’t sound like, “You know I love you and I want to make you my lady!” So she has just washed her hands with the situation. And BET MONEY in less than 3 weeks, she will have a profile picture kissing another dude in the bathroom mirror.
And just like females, niggas need CLOSURE too! Pause: WTF Dukes? Speak for yourself! Uh… yea… Chill, chill. Hear me out! Play: For niggas, it’s not a “We’re over” closure, it’s a reconciliation type closure. As a retired man whore, once life hits you, you realize that just a simple apology could have avoided her bleaching your clothes or putting sugar in your Lb’s gas tank. So as a dude, our closure is more of a safety precaution. Let the situation calm down a little bit and now let’s see if we can be “friends”. Because we need to KNOW if I see you in the mall, am I looking to get a hug or looking to get smacked in the face. So, after a couple of weeks, you might shoot over a text, “Hello there Miss Lady? How you been?” or “Thought about you. Hope all is well.” or “Haven’t heard from you in a while. U good?”<------- All random (Man closure) texts. Because if we can be FRIENDS… then everybody wins.
Pause: Just my opinion, you can NOT be just friends with somebody that you used to sex on the regular. NO real dude can honestly tell me that. From a dude’s stand point, being friends REALLY means- I need her to be comfortable with me again. But in the back of my head, I’m hoping that I get to f&^% sometime soon. But don’t rush it, and just play your position. Because the friend is the dude that wins! If you fall into the friend zone, you have ALL types of privileges that non-friends don’t have. As the friend, you have to be concerned about EVERYTHING. And the female tells the “friend” shit that happens. But the crazy part is that the friend ONLY knows about the bad ish. “OOOO… Dukes. Guess what? He bought me some roses!” I don’t give a F*&^ about that so my response is, “uh…huh. Ummm… Did you have to work today?” But let her EVEN mumble, “Uggghhh… He makes me sick!” My response, “What tha F*&^ happened?!” And as the “friend” she will proceed to tell me EVERYTHING about the situation. So, now… I’m taking notes. Like watching film. And I can use those notes to go back to practice, because if I stick around long enough when the dude blows a knee or gets a concussion … Guess what?! I’m IN the GAME!
Play: Back to Karma. Sometimes you gotta just say “FUCK IT”. As a dude, we tend to try to fix things that don’t even need to be fixed. And this is ALL for self. The closure thing. “I need to move on with my life, but I can’t because of Lacey.” And it’s not that I think about Lacey day and night, I honestly just think, “Does Lacey still hate me?” Because my life would be going MUCH better if she was one less enemy. Honestly, I don’t know if she has a voodoo doll or whatever. So, this needs to be clear. And also, I want to have a daughter one day. So, if I take the time to “get right” with my past then hopefully she won’t have to go through what I put females through. You feel me? So, my advice is get it right the FIRST time. Seriously… Why go back and put yourself through the same hurt? People change! That physical attraction might be the same, but people grow- mentally and spiritually. That girl you fell in love with in college, might not be the same woman you saw at Wal-Mart yesterday. So… do NOT bank on “old faithful”. The following is the REALEST shit I ever wrote:
“I tried to go back to re-write all of my wrongs,
But I can’t, cause all my ex’s already moved on…”
So… FUCK IT!!!!! And get over it. You don’t even cross her mind anymore. And trying to get back in the friend zone is going to take a good 20-25 percent. And you wonder why the one you really want isn’t giving her all, because it’s too obvious that she’s only getting 75-80 percent. You say don’t put all of your eggs in one basket? But SSSSHHHHIIIITTTTT… You can damn sure throw the cracked ones AWAY!
Summary:
1.) Closure is that FINAL statement. Go big or go HOME!
2.) Friends with benefits are winning right now.
3.) I am the Easter Egg Hunt KING!
4.) Don’t take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
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