Disclaimer: In the following blog I just might be feeling myself for TWO reasons.
1.) Because I’m hosting the Delta’s Regional Conference’s Step Show THIS Friday in Charleston, SC.
2.) Because I’m over 4-THOUSAND hits on here in less than FOUR weeks! Amazing… Welp… Here it goes:
Karma is REAL! She doesn’t have a color or race. All I know is that she has a perfect body, or a fat ass or long hair or nice teeth. All things I want and need. But she doesn’t play fair. Beyonce has a song titled the Best Thing I Never Had. Please… don’t judge me and do NOT call me a B&^%$, but that is my SHIT! And the reason it is, is #allbad. The reason is because the first time I heard that ish, I thought about all the females who were currently singing it on my behalf. And trust me, that is NOTHING to be proud of. But that ish is real!
Currently, I feel like Karma is kicking my ASS! And I honestly feel like females don’t have this problem. Why? Because of this thing called CLOSURE! Wait… for it… Wait… for it… But check: Before females carry through the action of any grimy ish they thought about for a while, they HAVE to have that last conversation. If you a real nigga, then you KNOW losing ANY p**** is like losing a lung. But you know one is about to fly away when they are asking for Closure. That means another dude is, or has been, knocking on the door for the longest, but they still messing with ya “can’t get right” ass and they don’t want to feel like a whore! This is how you know you about to lose one. They get too emotional. Just a random burst of emotion. Either tears or a 911 urgent, “We REALLY need to talk!” call
“Yes babe? What’s wrong?”
“Face to face please…”
“Ok…”
You come over. And they start the conversation… “Babe, for real what are we doing? Have I done anything wrong? I need some… (deep breath) CLOSURE…”
FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK… As a nigga, do you let it go by telling the truth or make it sound good? Of course you make it sound good! “Baby… What u mean…? What you saying…?”
But at the closure stage, it might as well be an ultimatum. “Baby… what u mean… what u saying…” didn’t sound like, “You know I love you and I want to make you my lady!” So she has just washed her hands with the situation. And BET MONEY in less than 3 weeks, she will have a profile picture kissing another dude in the bathroom mirror.
And just like females, niggas need CLOSURE too! Pause: WTF Dukes? Speak for yourself! Uh… yea… Chill, chill. Hear me out! Play: For niggas, it’s not a “We’re over” closure, it’s a reconciliation type closure. As a retired man whore, once life hits you, you realize that just a simple apology could have avoided her bleaching your clothes or putting sugar in your Lb’s gas tank. So as a dude, our closure is more of a safety precaution. Let the situation calm down a little bit and now let’s see if we can be “friends”. Because we need to KNOW if I see you in the mall, am I looking to get a hug or looking to get smacked in the face. So, after a couple of weeks, you might shoot over a text, “Hello there Miss Lady? How you been?” or “Thought about you. Hope all is well.” or “Haven’t heard from you in a while. U good?”<------- All random (Man closure) texts. Because if we can be FRIENDS… then everybody wins.
Pause: Just my opinion, you can NOT be just friends with somebody that you used to sex on the regular. NO real dude can honestly tell me that. From a dude’s stand point, being friends REALLY means- I need her to be comfortable with me again. But in the back of my head, I’m hoping that I get to f&^% sometime soon. But don’t rush it, and just play your position. Because the friend is the dude that wins! If you fall into the friend zone, you have ALL types of privileges that non-friends don’t have. As the friend, you have to be concerned about EVERYTHING. And the female tells the “friend” shit that happens. But the crazy part is that the friend ONLY knows about the bad ish. “OOOO… Dukes. Guess what? He bought me some roses!” I don’t give a F*&^ about that so my response is, “uh…huh. Ummm… Did you have to work today?” But let her EVEN mumble, “Uggghhh… He makes me sick!” My response, “What tha F*&^ happened?!” And as the “friend” she will proceed to tell me EVERYTHING about the situation. So, now… I’m taking notes. Like watching film. And I can use those notes to go back to practice, because if I stick around long enough when the dude blows a knee or gets a concussion … Guess what?! I’m IN the GAME!
Play: Back to Karma. Sometimes you gotta just say “FUCK IT”. As a dude, we tend to try to fix things that don’t even need to be fixed. And this is ALL for self. The closure thing. “I need to move on with my life, but I can’t because of Lacey.” And it’s not that I think about Lacey day and night, I honestly just think, “Does Lacey still hate me?” Because my life would be going MUCH better if she was one less enemy. Honestly, I don’t know if she has a voodoo doll or whatever. So, this needs to be clear. And also, I want to have a daughter one day. So, if I take the time to “get right” with my past then hopefully she won’t have to go through what I put females through. You feel me? So, my advice is get it right the FIRST time. Seriously… Why go back and put yourself through the same hurt? People change! That physical attraction might be the same, but people grow- mentally and spiritually. That girl you fell in love with in college, might not be the same woman you saw at Wal-Mart yesterday. So… do NOT bank on “old faithful”. The following is the REALEST shit I ever wrote:
“I tried to go back to re-write all of my wrongs,
But I can’t, cause all my ex’s already moved on…”
So… FUCK IT!!!!! And get over it. You don’t even cross her mind anymore. And trying to get back in the friend zone is going to take a good 20-25 percent. And you wonder why the one you really want isn’t giving her all, because it’s too obvious that she’s only getting 75-80 percent. You say don’t put all of your eggs in one basket? But SSSSHHHHIIIITTTTT… You can damn sure throw the cracked ones AWAY!
Summary:
1.) Closure is that FINAL statement. Go big or go HOME!
2.) Friends with benefits are winning right now.
3.) I am the Easter Egg Hunt KING!
4.) Don’t take my advice
5.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911
Jay Dukes aka Mr. Million Dollars aka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
Hey... YOU! "Like" my fan page PLEASE... JAY DUKES
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