What TF is a Celebrity?

Disclaimer: I went on a run yesterday with my cuzzo/road manager/trainer @SoloDoloNebo.  Even though it was probably less than a mile.  LOL.  I feel good.  The goal is to get abs.  I'm hosting all three shows in February shirtless!  Why not?!  And you guessed...  That has NOTHING to do with my blog.  Welp, here it goes!

I'm really trying to figure out what makes somebody a celebrity.  What makes people run for miles chasing a car just trying to touch somebody's hand or to get a pic?  It's confusing to me.  Those people are STILL people.  I thought about it and it could be that "surprise element".  The only reason I would stand in the freezing cold for a pic with a "celebrity" is if I thought I would NEVER see them again.  Like...  "OMG Rhianna is going to be in Greenville?"  That would make me flip.  But you see the point.  

Is it wrong to say, "I don't even want to be a celebrity"?  That term doesn't make sense to me yet.  "Celebrity status" only gives you an excuse to be snobbish from what I'm gathering.  My homie got 30k followers on Twitter, but only following back 15 people.  Why?  Because he's a celebrity.  This little girl asked to take a picture after the show, but he said, "I'm sorry.  I don't have time".  Why?  Because he's a celebrity.  Where are you going?  To the room.  

I don't even have a point for this blog!  Just something to think about.  Ma Dukes always tells me, "Shon, make sure you MAKE time for people"!  Yes ma'am.  So, is it possible to just be that cool guy who loves to perform and is really talented?  OR...  To be really respected and treated like "others", do I have to get to "celebrity status"?  #QuestionsNEEDAnswers.  Nobody wants to support you on the rise, but everybody wants to claim you when you make it!  But hey...  If you don't fight your own battles, God will fight them for you.

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey...  You Look Familiar" qka Mr. Imma Put You On

Summary:

1.) Blah Blah

2.) Thank you for supporting me

3.) Don't take my advice

4.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

God Did It

Disclaimer: Come support me on the following dates- THIS SATURDAY at Johnson C. Smith University, the 27th!  UNC on Friday, November 9th.  Winthrop University on Saturday, November 10th.  AND CLAFLIN UNIVERSITY on Saturday, November 17th!  I bet you guessed it, huh?  That has NOTHING...  to do with my blog!  Welp...  Here it goes.

My brother told me. "Stay hungry and humble.  Never think you're better than anybody and always try to help somebody"!  <--- Those words have proved to be the secret of success.  Thanks Jabari!  Here's the thing.  Last year, 2011, was a TERRIBLE year for me!  I didn't have nearly as much work as 2010.  WHY?  Because I got cocky.  Extremely cocky.  I stopped working and thought it was a bright idea to blame "my team".  When in business for yourself, don't look for others to do the work FOR you; look for others who work as HARD AS you!  I got back in the trenches and it has made things go smoother.  Made things come to fruition.  BUT.  But, but but...  I can't ANY of the credit.  I give ALL the credit to God because when I thought I "had it", it wasn't working AT ALL!

I don't really have a message, just want to share my formula.  Here's what I did this year.

1.) Bought some books.  Two Joel Osteen books.  Helped with taking the junk out of my mind.  Your mind can only hold so much.  Junk in, junk out.  Why not fill it with positivity and take that junk OUT...  Period.

2.) Started back paying my tithes... for MYSELF!  lol.  I was that guy to put in some big bucks when my girl was looking over my shoulder to "impress" her.  #Terrible.  It's more of the principle.  Especially with this little bit of money we are getting now.  Maybe this is the wrong way to look at it...  But consider, if you gave Tyler Perry $20 in 1995.  If yall were cool like that, don't you think he would pay you back with waaaayyyyy more than that now? God has more money than Tyler Perry.  Think about it.  When you give, you get blessed.  If you are not getting blessed right now, just know that you're not throwing your money away.  It's gaining interest and God will bless you when you knows you can handle it.

3.) Started out working out on a regular basis and not just 200 push-ups before my girl comes over.  lol.  For me, when I train it's a physical expression that says, "I wanted to stop at 56 push-ups, but I pushed myself to 100.  If I can push myself physically, then I can push towards my goals"!  

4.) I started speaking in FAITH!  Some might calling lying!  But I call it Faith.  For those of yall who follow me, I said a LONG time ago that I would do at least 10 schools this year!  When I was confessing that, how many did I have?  ONE!  Winthrop University because they did a two year contract!  That's it...  Just one!  You might be thinking, "Ok...  Well, 9 schools are not that hard to get".  Ummm...  With no agent?  TRY AGAIN!  Out of every 20 schools I call, email and leave voicemails for, I might get ONE call back, IF THAT!  AND... most schools lock in everything for Homecoming during the summer time.  I'm saying, "I, Jay Dukes, will be at AT LEAST ten schools this year"! in August with only ONE school on the books! lol.  But I kept confessing it...  Now...  Let's count them.

1.) Greenville Technical College’s Tech Comedy Live Greenville, SC 09/08/2012

2.) Claflin University Has Talent Orangeburg, SC 09/21/2012

3.) Winston-Salem State University’s Battlegrounds Winston-Salem, NC 09/28/2012

4.) Alabama A&M University’s Homecoming Talent Show Huntsville, AL 10/09/2012

5.) South Carolina State University’s AKPsidol Orangeburg, SC 10/10/2012

6.) Fort Valley State University’s Homecoming Step Show Fort Valley, GA 10/13/2012

7.) Grambling State University’s Homecoming Talent Show Grambling, LA 10/16/2012
8.) Elizabeth City State University's Homecoming Concert Elizabeth City, NC 10/20/2012

9.) Johnson C. Smith University's Homecoming Step Show Charlotte, NC 10/27/2012

10.) UNC's Homecoming Step Show Chapel Hill, NC 11/09/2012

11.) Winthrop University's Homecoming Step Show Rock Hill, SC 11/10/2012

12.) Claflin University's Homecoming Step Show Orangeburg, SC 11/17/2012

No point, just my formula.  Just a little story time.  Next blog, I might tell yall about the TERRIBLE show I had...  I was SOOOO disappointed in myself.  But I didn't stay down about it.  I MIGHT tell yall that story! 

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar" qka Mr. I'm Not Available For That Date.  Sorry!

Summary:

1.) Find something to meditate on

2.) Work out

3.) Speak in Faith

4.) Don't take my advice

Twitter- @jaydukes1911

Put Your Faith Out There

Disclaimer: I just got locked to host Fort Valley State’s Homecoming Step Show. It is Friday, October 13^th. If you can make it, COME! It’s gonna be on another level! And you guessed it… That has NOTHING to do with this blog. Welp… Here it goes.

 

What are you believing God for? When you accomplish one goal, start working on another. Don’t become complacent. Don’t become stagnant. But in those times of uncertainty take practical steps to put your faith out there. My lil’ lady hates my suits! I think she’s trying to say I look country. But hey… I gotta work with what I got. I try to throw a suit on when I want to look like somebody. Everybody knows that you attract who/what you are. If you want to start making money, start looking like it. Pretty simple formula. But, for me to have the same, exact, extremely discounted suits from Undergrad is just UNACCEPTABLE! So what did I do last Friday?

 

I went to Jos A. Bank and tried on suits. I didn’t have ANY money. But I just wanted to try them on. To feel what they are supposed to feel like. Just wanted to see myself in it. Anything you can see you can do. That’s my way of putting my Faith out there. Now I know that the suits I should be wearing cost about $1225.00. That gives me something to work towards. To mentally and physically put myself in something that I really want allows me to push myself to get it. I have a goal. I know what it takes to get there and now it’s only a matter of time. My birthday is December 8^th. This year will be our 3^rd Annual Celebrity Birthday Bash. If I decide to wear a suit, trust me, that it will be one of those $1200 ones. That’s just MY formula. What’s yours? Do what helps you believe.

 

Started when we were little. While we were still living in “ok” condominiums, Ma Dukes would take us on a ride to ignite our Faith. We would ride through the neighborhoods with the BIGGEST houses in our city. My eyes would light up looking at those mini-mansions! Even today, I will STILL stop talking in the middle of a sentence when riding through a nice neighborhood. Because I NEED that! Not necessarily that exact house. But you get what I mean. So, this is my open invitation to all of my 4-THOUSAND followers… In about ten years, when I get married and have children, you all are invited to my house warming party. Don’t worry about getting there early because there will be PLENTY of food AND enough space for everyone. 

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

Twitter @jaydyukes1911
Website: www.jaydukesproductions.com
Personal Email: jaydukes1911@yahoo.com

God Is Real

Disclaimer: Cracker Barrel is sooooo good.  I had it after church on Sunday after my lil’ lady’s ceremony.  Picked it up in Duncan and took my sister a plate.  And you guessed it, that has NOTHING to do with this blog!  Welp…  Here it goes! 

I low-key thought that not cursing nor drinking and smoking made me Holy.  I even try to get God to look over that sex before marriage thing.  And I have stole from a few people..  and broke a couple of laws…  But hey *cues Nobody’s Perfect*.  I guess when you get saved at such a young age, God’s Will and YOUR Will becomes a slight blur.  It’s kind of confusing because you hear “God knows your every move before you even do it”.  & “He won’t put more on you than you can bare”.  So, you can think, “Am I just a puppet?”  “Is it even me thinking these thoughts or is Jesus telling me to take her back to the room?” ß--Wrong, I know.  *Shrugs*

But seriously, I don’t even know how old we were when we got saved.  I just know we were REALLY young!  It was me and my brother, Josh.  The preacher was on the alter, “Hell is HOT.  Fire!  You don’t want to go to Hell and BURN!  Cleanse yo sins.  That vocab test you cheated on, was a sin!  That cookie you stole, was a sin!  The consequences of sin is DEATH!  You think it’s hot outside?  Oooo…  Noooo…  So won’t you come?  So won’t you come?!”  I looked at my brother like, “Why not”?!  Took a sip of my juicy juice and we both walked to the front. 

Several years later, I started questioning myself.  Why didn’t I feel connected as I should be to God.  That’s all I know.  Why is there a void there?  Then it hit me.  Junk in, junk out.  Talking about “Yes…  I’m blessed” and “Give Glory to God” is cool.  But just talking minus action is #allbad.  Maybe somebody is feeling the same way I was feeling.  What did I do?  I read Joel Osteen’s Become A Better You.  Why?  Because I believe you have to meet people were they are.  Ma Dukes tells me to read The Bible every day.  Personally, when I pick up The Bible, I have to search for a scripture that applies to me.  Feels more like class.  Something I have to get better with.  But Joel broke down situations that I found myself going through and it made sense.  I saw the relevance and vitality in believing in God, thinking positive and putting my best foot forward. 

Another thing, tithes and offerings!  We all know that when we pay our tithes, we get blessed.  Even my road manager doesn’t go to church, but this smart ninja still sends his tithes.  I didn’t pay my tithes for soooo long.  And I struggled for sooooo long!  These last two weeks, I paid my tithes.   Just two weeks yall.  But when I put my tithes in the KFC bucket (Don’t judge my church), I asked God for something.  Kind of like blowing out a birthday candle, but 100 times better.  Lol.  And I got what I asked God for!  I’m not a rocket scientist.  It’s simple to me.  It works!  What’s your testimony?  Just know that God is REAL!

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

Follow ME!

Twitter- @jaydukes1911 <--- Click IT!
Instagram- jaydukes1911
Website- www.jaydukesproductions.com
Personal Email- jaydukes1911@yahoo.com

KEEP AT IT!

Disclaimer: You ever looked at something you wanted, but knew you couldn’t have it? Like food… Geesh those some good looking yams! But I already got these mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese on my plate! Nah…? Me neither! And you guessed it, that has NOTHING to do with this blog! Welp… Here it goes!

 

I toyed with the idea of doing comedy. My thought process was… Hosting, comedy, acting, producing. Why did I put them in that order? NO CLUE! Just thought that’s how it went. Look at Kevin Hart. But Terrence J just did hosting to acting. So… What now Dukes? You want to be a comedian!?!? Ummm… NO! I want to be the best host I can be. A host with comedic appeal! That sounds better. But I realized that the ONLY way I can know if my intentional jokes are actually funny is to get on-stage in front of people who actually like to laugh. Hence, low-key comedy. And hey.. If I get good enough at it, I will hit a couple of stages to pay a couple bills. I say that to say, don’t get confused. To be the best stand-up comedian or, the next Kevin Hart, is NOT the goal. I just want to be the best host with enough versatility to cater to young and old.

 

A couple things I have noticed, young people- rock to music. Older people- like to laugh. Any host that is one-dimensional is up for a WORLD of trouble. Take my Clemson show! PERFECT example! That was my very first show out of college. All I knew was an HBCU crowd. Didn’t fly at Clemson. Back to the drawing board. BUT… one thing I can say about our people is that they respect the grind… IF you let them see the grind. Anybody who just pops up on the scene, people are quick to scream Illuminati. But if you let them see the grind, they respect it.

 

Take Hungreeboy. Follow my dude-à @hungreeboy. We threw a couple of parties together and we did ok. One time we lost at least $1,000 EACH on a whole Labor Day weekend. I JUST got out of school, so I’m not used to losing. G called me and told me not to quit. “You win some, you lose some. But you just got to keep at it”. I got frustrated. I’m OUT! But Hungreeboy keep at it! And not even a year later, Hungreeboy Ent. is the arguably the youngest, most effective brand in Upstate’s Nightlife.

 

It’s all about what YOU want to do. What are you passionate about? That’s what you need to go get! This comedy thing, is NOT the easiest thing in the world! A comedian told me, “You HAVE to get on stage because as a ninja with an ego, EVERYTHING is funny to YOU! But you have to find out what’s universally funny”. You can go on Youtube and just look up some comedians. You have some comedians who have been doing the SAME jokes for YEARS! Why? Because it actually takes that long to develop that craft. Once you have a good joke that everybody laughed at… OOOO… SNAP! I’m keeping that one.

 

First comedy show I did in Anderson- People just looked like, “WTF is he doing up there”? Second show in Atlanta- I got ignored first and when people realized that I, JAY DUKES, was supposed to be the one telling the jokes, I got boo’ed. Third show in Atlanta- Didn’t get boo’ed, but a couple people paid attention. Fourth show at the comedy house in Columbia- I got a couple of giggles and a, “NEXT”! Fifth show at Club XI in Spartanburg- Got ignored. People thought they were early for the party and was like, “Why TF are they up there talking”?! Sixth show at The Black and White Affair with Gary Owen and Lyfe Jennings- UUUUHHHH… Let’s just say good exposure. Seventh show at Greenville Technical College on Saturday, September 8^th- I ROCKED! They actually laughed. Like… the WHOLE ROOM LAUGHED! Stayed, took pictures after and all. It was a GREAT feeling.

One of the administrators told me, “Good show tonight man”.
“Thank you. My name is-”
“I know… Jay Dukes, right? You probably don’t remember, but I met you when you hosted at Clemson in 2010”.
“*Blows breath* That TERRIBLE show”!
“Lol. But hey… You’re still at it. Good show tonight. REAL good show. Look forward to having you at the next one”!

In closing, I want you to remember the following:
“If you are going to start something. Even if you just put forth a measly 25%, do NOT quit! It doesn’t make sense because failing doesn’t take ANY effort! Failing might hurt your pride. Ok… Oh well. But quitting hurts your pockets! KEEP AT IT!”

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

Follow ME!

Twitter- @jaydukes1911 <--- Click IT!
Instagram- jaydukes1911
Website- www.jaydukesproductions.com
Personal Email- jaydukes1911@yahoo.com

Ladies are Emotional Creatures

Disclaimer: I am a spoiled lil' brat in a grown man body.  #allbad.  So, just go ahead and follow my non-profit page on Twitter PLEASE @pypsc.  We working very hard on future events.  Thank you for your time.  Let's Goooo...  And you guessed it, that has NOTHING to do with this blog.  Welp, here it goes.

No matter how many females say that they THINK like ninjas, they still FEEL like females.  They are emotional creatures.  They can't help it.  This is a TRU story... *2 Chainz Voice*  The other night, I was on the phone handling business and on Twitter.  To some people, Twitter is just Twitter.  But I actually get on there to look for gigs and get contacts.  #Grindin.  My lil' lady starts doing little stuff for attention.  She's doing crunches...  1 and 2 and 3...  1.  She hasn't worked out since last year, but she's doing crunches.  Then...  She starts doing handstands...  All this WHILE I'm on the phone!  

Now, if she would've told ME she was on the phone, I would've just went downstairs.  But if I say, "Baaaabbbbbeeee...  I'm on the phone".  She decides to whisper LOUD AF, "I'M NOT SAYING NOTHING"!  Then she does a cartwheel and hits the wall.  Looks at me like I was supposed to go get her some ice.  WTF?!  I ain't ask you to do no handstand or a cartwheel.  DEAL WITH IT!  

And that was mean...  I know it now.  Everything could have been over.  BUT since females are emotional, she made a scene!  Slamming doors, stomping up and down the steps, turning on lights to look for stuff that she knew wasn't downstairs!  I'm starting to get mad.  Which is funny, because I don't get mad.  I'm laughing...  Which obviously made her more upset.  When I got off the phone I didn't hold her and try to talk, I just grabbed a blanket and slept downstairs on the couch.  I'm thinking, "Maannnn...  All this BULL ISH isn't necessary.  If I try to hold her now, then she's going to think all this wild'n out is the perfect way to get attention".  What did I do?...  I LEFT!  I'm not dealing with this CRAZY m f-er.  Nah...  I'm just playing.  What did I do?

I waited till the situation cooled down and held her.  Fellas listen: 90% of the time, females only want to hear, "You're right baby".  And in actuality they could be WRONG AF.  But just putting your pride aside and moving forward shows her that her feelings are more important than you proving your point.  Ladies, you can be wrong.  You have that right as a female.  And you probably won't admit it when you are.  But just know, if you are dealing with a man that just HAS to be right in EVERY disagreement means that he just doesn't care about your feelings.

Any man that doesn't care about your feelings, or tries to act like it at least, doesn't care about your life or you all's relationship/situation.  #RealTalk

Summary:
1.) Just a little something to get back in the groove
2.) Don't take my advice
3.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey...  You Look Familiar" qka Mr. I'm Never Home

Make up YOUR Mind

Disclaimer: It takes more effort to be a hater.  So, why do it?  I could hate on Hungreeboy because he took my girl.  But why should I do that when I can just go to The #JuneBirthdayBash tomorrow at Club Miami and spy on her.  Yea...  I'm going to do that.  #Salute to D. Mill.  And you guessed it, that has NOTHING to do with my blog.  Welp... Here it goes...

I'm getting ready to step on some toes!  Including my own.  I watched T.D. Jakes the other morning and I took A LOT from the message.  Not sure how many of my followers wake up that early to watch it, so I will tell you what I got from the message. 

"Don't let other people's opinions determine your success.  People will always identify you from how they met you".  Dang...  That's so true.  Think about it.  If you met a stripper working in a strip club, right?  No matter how many times you see her at church, you're going to say, "Ayyyee...  That's that stripper!  Who did the thang with the bottle, the balloon and the ice cubes"!  "Word?  Stop playing..." "DUDE...  THAT'S HER"! 

And if you allow people to label you, a dawg will ALWAYS be a dawg!  I know four and half females (one was a midget birthday cake dancer.  I know it's weird... smh) who I "knew" in my ratchet Undergrad days who will tell ANY future prospects, "Don't do it gurl...  I remember when he... (insert any dirt you can POSSIBLY think of. lol)

So, if you allow people to tell you who YOU ARE, you will NEVER rise above what they think of you.  So, don't do it!  Brother Ray Singleton told me, "The most powerful thing in the world is a made up mind".  Make up your mind on what you want out of life and what you WILL get out of life!  The only person stopping you, is you!  And STOP trying to convince people that you have changed or you're doing this now...  It's wasting precious time and energy that you can spend achieving your goals rather than trying to convince people that you "got it". 

The people who support you, decided that they wanted to support you.  The people who hate you, WILL hate you until THEY decide that it's not worth it anymore.  YOU can't do ANYTHING about it.   So, live YOUR life and stop tripping...  *cues outro music* "Say truuuu...  I ain't never told no lie... I ain't never told no lie...  Yaaaa..."

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar" qka Mr. 106 and Park

FOLLOW me on Twitter- @jaydukes1911   <--- CLICK IT NOW
Facebook: Jay Dukes & Misterjay Dukes <--- THIS ONE TOO!
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SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL: teamjaydukes <---  JUST HIT THE BUTTON! 

GO GET IT

Since The Billboard Awards were last night, I feel the need to give my own awards.  Do yall know I have been professionally hosting since January 2010.  I really wanted to host The BET Awards back in 2010!  lol.  But obviously I wasn't ready.  I remember my homie told me that most overnight successes take ten years!  Well, I'm already two in.  And as a dude with an ego, I've always felt like I'm the Egg McMuffin of Hosts.  But I had to realize that I don't just want to be good, I want to be GREAT!  If I could accept any award right now, it would be "MOST IMPROVED"!  And I'm proud of that.  I push myself so hard to top EVERY SHOW!  It's funny to me, but I KNOW the most annoying ride in the WORLD is riding with me after a show.  I'm asking 50 million questions about what I messed up on and what I can do better!  That's because it's my passion and it's what I love to do.

Listen: life is always going to have ups and downs.  But when it's more downs than ups, PLEASE don't give up.  Trust me, we all go through it.  It's very important to center yourself around REAL people.  People who don't care about your feelings and want to see you succeed as much as you do.  That's my mini-intro to the video!  Check it out!!!!

FOLLOW ME @jaydukes1911
FOLLOW ME @jaydukes1911

What You Don't Know

I did everything I could
Can you blame me for trying?
You said you never would
But I can't blame you for lying.

Cause you wanted to protect me
But you decided to inject me,

With a disease called Love.
Then you infected our Trust,
now we ended up with Lust.
And soul ties are real, so look how many people ended up with us.

You say you don't know him, but he said, "Hi".
You say you wasn't home, but I drove by.

My friends tell me that if it walks like a _______
and talks like a ______
Then it's gotta be a _______ Nooooo...

Cause I done tried this thing before,
with this one, thought it was more.

Ok...  I was all in MY feelings
cause this one was kinda exciting.
Love can and will hurt,
cause falling feels no better than fighting.

Now you inviting,
another maybe?
Man... this chick gotta be crazy.

What we had was real. 
Maybe too real.
Now I'm sick of your scent, your smell, your voice...
Maybe too ill.

So I ignored all the signs,
 even though they were quite alarming.
And the only words I can find,
were just two..."Good Morning".

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"

THINK LIKE A MAN (My thoughts)

Disclaimer: These are just MY thoughts! Go see it for yourself. We all don’t “think” alike! *shrugs*

 

I THOUGHT it was a GREAT movie. It was real. #RealLife. I appreciate the fact that it appealed to all people. It wasn’t the stereotypical “black film”. It didn’t pigeon hole us as African-Americans. Or show what “Hollywood” thinks WE want to see. It didn’t have a Donte with four different baby mommas. I know several successful women who have a child or two who are not necessarily looking for a provider because they already have their ish together. It’s kind of like, “It would be nice, but just don’t waste my time”.

 

Kevin Hart was HILARIOUS, as always! I think he did a lot of adlibbing. I will take that back if everything he said was in the script. Then, my hat goes off to the writers. But for him to have 90% of the funny parts made HIM hilarious in this movie.

 

Long story, short.. GO SEE IT! Today!

 

Now I will proceed to get off topic and tell yall how this movie directly relates to me. I should have titled this blog “So Motha’ F*&^%n’ Motivated”!

 

This might be some selfish ASS ish! But I can’t give you want you want, until I have everything I need. How can I focus on an “us” when I don’t even know where “I” am, right now? You see it in the movie with The Chef! It’s not possible. Back when I started college, my uncle told me, “Don’t chase women, chase money. And when you get money, women will chase you”! #TRUTH! Not saying that I want to get on one knee for a gold digger in three years. I’m saying that as a young man with ambition, dreams and goals, “the one” will understand that. She will respect the hustle and the grind. She might even say, “You know what? I am willing to help you however I can”. #Priceless.

 

And continuing to explain why I am SO MOTHA’ F*&^%n’ MOTIVATED… I am always preaching to yall about networking, humility and being in the right place at the right time. I probably got more motivated at the story around this film rather than the motion picture itself. Let’s connect some dots. And… GO!

 

The Producer of a movie is the BIG GUY! He/she calls the shots because at the end of the day, they're putting up the money. Obviously, you have a casting director and a director to make suggestions; but if it’s my money, it’s MY RULES! *shrugs* (I think that’s how it works). If you want to get into entertainment, you should watch credits! At ALL movies and even TV shows! Stay to the end and WATCH THE CREDITS! You will learn A LOT! This is why networking, following up and maintaining relationships are so important.

 

Will Packer produced “Think Like A Man”. He also produced “Takers” and “Stomp The Yard”, to name a few. Do you see ANY similarities here, yet?

 

-CHRIS BROWN is in “Think Like A Man”. He was also in “Stomp The Yard” in 2007 (for all of three minutes) AND he STARRED in “Takers”.

-MICHAEL EALY… STARRED in “Takers”.

-TERRENCE J had a small speaking role in “Stomp The Yard 2” and he stars in “Think Like A Man”!

 

It’s not rocket science!

 

How long does it take to tweet someone, “Happy Birthday”?… NOT LONG!

How long does it take to mass text, “Merry Christmas. God Bless”?… NOT LONG!

HOW LONG does it take to FB somebody, “Sorry to hear about your loss, we are praying for you”, TEN SECONDS!!!!

 

It’s not sucking up or kissing nobody’s (edit), it’s MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS! Bet Money *K. Hart Voice* those relationships are why Chris Brown, Michael Ealy and Terrence J have worked, and will continue to work, with Will Packer. People say, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. WRONG! “It’s not WHAT you know or WHO you know. It’s who knows YOU”! Everybody knows Barack Obama! But if I call and ask, “Can I speak to Barack please…?” They are going to respond, “May I ask who’s calling”? “JAY DUKES”! And they are going to send me to voicemail or just hang up!

 

Do NOT burn bridges! Maintain relationships!  And I mean Genuine Relationships! (Not this running “game” stuff that us men do! I might be telling on myself and many others right now… but *shrugs*! Think about why a dude calls you, out of the blue, one week, exactly SEVEN days, before he comes into town. “Hey babe, didn’t want anything. Just checking on you”. Now you feel special because he thought about you enough to just call when "you crossed his mind”. Yall talk for thirty minutes and he doesn’t say (edit) about coming into town. Now, seven days later, he calls to ask you, “Baby, how do I get to The Pizza Hut from the ghetto Bi-Lo over here by Baskin Robbins that we went to that time?” “WAIT… WAIT… You in town?” It #works. It really #works!)

 

Seriously, send emails periodically just checking up on a person, shoot them a text, etc. Because I PROMISE YOU BOO BOO *K. Hart Voice* the day a person realizes that you only call them when you want something, is the day they will stop answering your calls. 

 

Summary:

1.) Maintain Relationships
2.) Don’t take my advice *shrugs*
3.) GO SEE THINK LIKE A MAN
4.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey...  You Look Familiar"

Can I PLEASE Come to YOUR Church?!

Disclaimer: When clubs say they giving away 20 stacks to the sexiest lady, they be lying sometimes. I’m just being honest. But when Mr. Hungreeboy says he’s paying your car note on Saturday, April 14^th, he’s NOT! Foreplay is going down SO live at Cream on Saturday, April 14^th! $300 to the sexiest lady in the building. And yerp… You guessed it. That has NOTHING to do with this blog! Welp… Here it goes…

I attend Vanguard Community Church in Spartanburg, SC. That’s my church home. I like to visit other churches though. I went to church in Cross the other week and I LOVED it. And don’t get me wrong, I have NOTHING against my church. I love the Pastors, The Word, the fellowship… EVERYTHING. I just HATE when my dad shows up. It is sooooooo (church edit) embarrassing! (deep breath, long sigh) At least he’s in church! But this is exactly what happened on Sunday, April 1^st! And I PROMISE you this is NOT an April Fool’s joke.

One thing I like about my church is that we get The Word minus the theatrics. Minus the yelling and bank-head bouncing. But we had a guest speaker this past Sunday. He’s a prophet and he really hears from God. Really some powerful stuff. But anyway… he does all the yelling and stuff. Not saying anything wrong with it, but it just puts my dad in a comfortable position to show out. And that… HE DID!

My dad walks with a cane. So half way through the sermon, he decides to show up to church. He walks ALL the way to the front row, while this man is preaching! Then two minutes later his phone rings and he walks ALL THE WAY to the back of the church to the coffee room to answer it. I’m sitting at the back of the church with my brother Josh and sister Shannel. I make Josh slide over real quick so there would be an extra seat on the end. Two minutes later, my dad limps back out of the coffee room and let’s the door slam. I say, “Pops, sit right here. Sit right here”. And this guy looks at me and just keeps walking ALL THE WAY BACK to the front! He gets his Bible that he when he answered his phone and walks ALL THE WAY BACK to me and sits down. Then he says to me…

“What you want? I’m trying to get The Word”!

“Man… Dad, Shut up. I was trying to get you to sit here so you wouldn’t have to disturb service”.

“O! Well… I’m bout to leave anyway”.

WWWWHHHHAAATTTT?! You come thirty minutes late? Disturb service and ride? You a clown man! Smh…

But before he left, he definitely wanted to do more embarrassing (church edit). My dad just doesn’t understand church etiquette. Here are a couple church rules…

NUMBER ONE: If the pastor asks you to repeat something, do it in unison with the rest of the congregation.

(My dad waits till everybody is finished and then he says whatever he wants to)

Pastor: Say My time is NOW!

Church: My time is NOW!

Then… My dad: “That’s right! Now is the time”!

Pastor: Say my blessing is on the way.

Church: My blessing is on the way.

THEN…………………… My dad, “Let me get my blessing Father”!

NUMBER… TWO: If you try to start a clap and you fail… Three claps are okay and just rub your hands together.

(My dad randomly does six, loud, long claps just whenever he wants to)

AND NUMBER… THREE: Don’t disagree with The Pastor out loud. That’s just rude!

The Pastor said something about, “You want blessed people in the church. Prosperous people. You don’t want people coming to church and leave going to sleep under a bridge” . Out loud my dad says, “Nawww… Nawww… Let em live Pastor! Let em come”!

Me: “Dad… HUSH”!

“Nah… You don’t HUSH me. I’m a grown (church edit) man! I didn’t agree with that. That wasn’t right”!

“SHHH… DADDY… SHUT UP”!

“Alright… Alright… Ok. *clears throat* AMEN!”

(My dad really is a comedian. He had three whole rows TRIPPIN! Laughing out loud and everything!)

Then he grabs his cane, turns back to me, “Ok brother. I’m bout to go! Be easy…” He gets up and doesn’t go to the back. He walks BACK up to the middle of the church this time, sits down beside my big lil’ cuzzo, D. Houzz, and talks to him for three minutes. Then he gets up AGAIN, limps ALL the way to the back door, but gives me a pound on the way out! “Holla at me brother”!

I couldn’t help but laugh. I just slid down in my chair and Josh tells me, “It’s ok man…”

Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

Another Person Told Me "No" Today

Disclaimer: This blog has nothing to do with my promoter/party life. This is what I really go through. So, this is in no way related to Who Run It?! At Club Miami on Friday, April 13^th w/ Lafayette Dawkins. Or #Foreplay at Club Cream w/ the big homies Josh Knuckles and Mr. Hungreeboy on Saturday, April 14^th. Ooooorrrrrrr… #PRETTYNASTY2012 in Orangeburg by Those Pretty Boy Nupes and Nasty Que Dawgs on Saturday, April 21^st! Salute to Dj Expensive Life and Dj Sway! But like I said… has NOTHING to do with this blog. Enjoy…

Another person told me “no” today. And I replied, “Thank You”. I won’t tell yall what I’m working on yet, but just know that it’s pretty freakin’ AWESOME!!!! In the entertainment industry A LOT of people will tell you NO, but the RIGHT person will tell you “YES”!

 

Perfect example, in 2010 I hosted Homecomings for Clemson, USC and Coastal Carolina. In 2011, I didn’t get invited back to ANY of those. I didn’t understand why for USC and Coastal… *puts hand on chin*. But I DEFINITELY, WHOLE-HEARTEDLY understood Clemson. I can let yall in on a little secret. Come here… come here… I SUCKED AT CLEMSON! No lol. Coming from Claflin, I prepared an HBCU show for Clemson. I just had a bunch of songs lined up expecting them to get up, dance, party-walk and run down the stands. They were looking at me like, “WTF? You want me to do what”? The worst/best show of my career. The worst because I’m really hard on myself. Since I didn’t have the whole auditorium rocking I was TRIPPIN! Really going through it backstage. But the BEST because it made me realize that I needed way more versatility in my shows. I added different sets that weren’t just catered to music. So now I go to shows with a whole goodie bag of sets. You never know what I’m going to pull out. BOOM! *white lady from Wal-Mart commercial voice*

 

So, there you have it. Coastal- no. USC-NO! Clemson- HECCCCKKKK NO! “No, No, NO!” But… When God closes one door, he opens another. I got to host #GHOE201, North Carolina A&T University’s Homecoming Step Show, which was MAJOR! I know people who have been hosting for YEARS who haven’t even been considered for this show yet. Twitter was BLAZING and I got some pretty good reviews. Also, Winthrop University! That was SUPER COOL because I have waited to host that show for years! And it seems like they were waiting on me too! Winthrop went in from beginning to end. Twitter overload and the reviews I received were GREAT! Had a BLAST!

 

I’m grinding and continuing to make steps. But, the sad thing about our culture is that NOBODY wants to support you on the rise, but EVERYBODY wants to claim you when you make it. And NO, I haven’t “made it”, YET! But, I guess I’m saying this to say keep moving and keep working. As long as you don’t give up and sit down they cant deny you. They will talk about you and try their best to discourage you #TRUST! But if you don’t allow their opinions to affect your progress, then they will eventually respect your persistent and determination.

 

The other day, I talked to my “long lost lover homegirl” (best way I can describe our relationship). And she told me, “Dukes, I’m discouraged because I’m trying so hard to succeed and everybody’s closing doors in my face”. I told her, “Build your own door”. “It’s not that easy Dukes…”

 

And it may not be that easy because times are hard right now and who has the money, or energy, to just get up and build their own door? So this is what you do… Instead of constantly reminding yourself, “I have to build my own door” and not putting a plan into action, make steps… This week- buy nails. In two weeks- buy some wood. Next month- buy a door knob… No matter how long it takes you, you keep doing little by little to get to your goal. By building your own door of opportunity, who can shut it? And if they do shut it “So TF WHAT?” You have the key… BOOM! *cues outro music* “Can’t nobody hold me down… Oh No… I gotsa’ keep on moving…” *Diddy Voice*

Summary:
1.) Don't let the h- uhhh... I mean... "no's" discourage you.
2.) Blah... Blah...
3.) Don't take my advice
4.) Follow me on Twitter @jaydukes1911

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”

Dear Future Son

Dear Future Son,

Have fun, live life in the moment.
I’m working real hard now to get you everything you ever wanted.

Imma cherish your innocence
While trying to teach you common sense.

Cause your pops never have none.
Well… I had fun,
But I took a lot of losses when I thought that I had ONE.

Or maybe two, or maybe three…
I consider love like branches on a tree.
Or more like switches to me.

I would go fetch em and bring em back to ya Nana.
Thought they were okay… But I knew she couldn’t stand em.

One thing I love about that lady, she would teach me before she beat me.
And just shake her head, because I was bringing her a new “switch” weekly.
Good Morning Mass texts, heart tangled up like some seaweed.
Staying out all night while setting up different teepees.

Never can stay too long, gotta get up and move.
Now every decision is prolonged when they say, “Man up and choose”.

I’m confused, ion know…
She say, “I love you, does it show”?
You wanna hear the real answer…
“Hell M*&^% F*&^%^ NO”!!!!

Only game I play is Michael Jackson.
Don’t think of me when you close enough to touch, and forget me when you’re relaxin.

I admit, it was cute, we were living the same dream.
With occasional nightmares.
But what’s this, been a minute and we doing the same thing.
With occasional “ooo yea’s…”

Ok… Ok…
I’m sorry.

Tell your mother I said “HI”!
Remember, REAL men… yea they cry.
But when you sick on the inside,
Just know when to say BYE.

LOVE YOU SON,

Daddy
P.S.  You're coming home as soon as this tour is over.  And PLEASE don’t make the same mistakes I did.

Just thinking

More people believe in Hell than they believe in Heaven.
I got scared into religion stuff back at age seven.

Wait… Wait… Give me time to make it make sense.
Cause I got a natural-haired lady that would kill me talkin like dis.

All I’m saying is…
Are we granted to enter those pearly gates from the way we live.

Ok. Ummm… Let me get this straight.

I can mess up and come back as long as I ask for forgiveness.
But if I KNOW I can mess up and come back am I asking for permission?

I gotta get better with cussin, but I don’t drink and I don’t smoke.
But I’m in church huffin, cause all this running and jumpin like you gotta be in shape to catch the Holy Ghost.

So, I don’t believe I ever caught him.
Money looking funny. Tithes and Offerings? Sometimes…
So, I know I never bought him.

Dad taught me that if you think long, you think wrong.
So that man up on the throne
Is the reason I didn’t wake up on my own.
That means I owe him more convos than, “Lord, help me with THESE LOANS”!

Yep, so I ain’t stupid.
All those church lessons and choir sessions didn’t end up being useless.

And no I can’t explain it all.
But while I’m still standing tall…
To Jesus is who I give the credit yall.

My car ended up on the side of the highway before A&T,
in the rain, trying to catch a meal.
It’s as simple as A&B,
That two more inches coulda had a tree in my windshield.

So, Imma stop playing church
And Imma stop doing dirt.
Well… I use that last term loosely.
Cause last week she threw it at me, and I ain’t mean to catch it, but it stuck to me.

But if you ever get like me and start to question sometimes…
Just make up your mind…
That the Bible ain’t lyin…

Bringing it back around, you know what’s right so continue to steps.
Every blessing I Thank Him.
And when I’m down, I just say, “Lord, I need your help”!


~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar"
FOLLOW ME @jaydukes1911

Opposites Attract

Question: How long do you fight for love when the one you love is fighting against you…
Same story, sad song
I thought this chick was dead wrong

*puts pen down* I’m done… Hold wait…

Another Question:
How do you go from infatuation, to seriously contemplatin
How to turn a crush into a must have?
so tired of fighting for love,
but still I’m sitting in a blood bath

We can rock if you can deal with the mess.
I know I’m not the best, but let me gets this off my chest.
I view you on another level gurl
A pedestal…

But if you don’t care, then I don’t care
If that’s the case, throw down your hair.
Give me time while I’m climbing to be your equal
Lights, cameras, action. Now we working on a sequel.

Wait…
I’m trippin…
Too fast…
Now we working on your people.

Cause they can never see what you see.

And I ain’t mad
Can’t say your swag match my swag.
But if you teach me this dis, I show you dat
I’ll be honest, give you all the facts

And it’s too early to say that I’ll stay when I gotta leave
But here’s my heart, you can have it all I ain’t gotta breathe…

And I ain’t saying I’m seeing visions of you in a dress that’s opposite of black.
I’m just saying why not try it now because opposites attract.

~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. "Hey... You Look Familiar" 
FOLLOW me @jaydukes1911

Excerpts from My Book/Life Story/Journal

Since I could remember, every time I saw a microphone, I would grab it. I bet you are thinking that my next statement is, “The world could see that I was destined to be a famous super star singer since birth”! But… Not quite. I never said I would sing. I loved the attention and I would just talk. And talk… AND TALK… That was me--- > Age three. Jamaal Rashon Dukes. Don’t get confused, but my family would call me Shon. So, for the longest time, if anybody would ask me, “Hey… lil’ guy. What’s your name”? I would reply, “Shon Jamaal Rashon Dukes”. They tried to correct me, but I wouldn’t listen because why would my Ma call me that if it wasn’t my name! I was already thinking logically at age three!

You all really don’t understand. I would talk a lot and I could actually speak very well for my age. Matter of fact, in public, people thought my mother was crazy because who could this lady possibly be having full length conversations with? Not this little boy…

“Did you see anything in that store you liked”?

“No ma’am. But I’m hungry”.

“What do you want to eat”?

“Chicken”!

“Chicken? With French fries”?

“Yes ma’am… But not France fries… American FRIES”!!! (I never understood the concept of “French” fries since we lived in America. Never sat well with me).

 

Not only did I talk ALL THE TIME! I found myself getting into things. I wouldn’t say I was a BAD child (side eye). I was just curious. For example:

 

“MAAAA… If we get on this moving stair thingy, you don’t have to hold my hand because I’m a big boy.”

“Ok… But stay close to me”.

“Yes ma’am"

“Step up…”
“Got it! But ummm… Mommy?”

“Yes”?

“What happens… If I go… backwards!”

“Shon! Stop! Boy… C- her-”

It quickly went from fun and games to a very serious moment when I no longer heard my mother‘s voice, but several voices of worried bystanders… “Oh My God. Look! Oh My God!” Terrified, I turned around and screamed, “MAMA!!!!”

In an attempt to stop me from misbehaving my mother slipped on one of the shopping bags and began to tumble backwards down the escalator. Out of at least fifty people watching, ONE lady ran through the crowd and hit the emergency stop button. When my mother got to her feet, I’m sure that she wanted to curse ALL the bystanders and myself out! But she just whispered, “Thank You Jesus”.

 

Actually, that was her answer for everything in my early childhood before the whoopins began. (Which was about a whole six months. lol) One time I got my head stuck between the railings on the staircase outside at my aunt’s apartment. The fire department had to come and use the crowbar to get me out. And one time, I was in our old school red van with my sister, Jamila, at the post office. No clue why I was feeling a little froggy, but I started banging my head against the windshield and saying, “I’m Da’ Man, I’m Da’ Man, I’M DA’ MAN”! *crack* And I cracked the whole windshield! From the top to the wiper! In that same van, we were riding one day and somehow I got out of my own car seat, opened the door and was swag surfin’ over a bridge, looking at the street! NO LIE! I definitely wasn’t a bad child. (side eye) Just the youngest and a momma’s boy! Love me some Ma Dukes.

 

Ma Dukes is a good Christian woman. She strongly stood by the scripture that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go”. We were in church every Sunday for service, Wednesday for Bible study, Saturday for drama practice and Second Sunday evenings for choir rehearsal! (And I can’t even sing). But we were there. 

 

Right beside my brothers from another mother, Josh and Chris. And my sisters from another (can’t really find a word to rhyme with sister. But you get the point.) Our sisters from another mother. We were definitely a dysfunctional family. But at least a family. We spent so much time in church together that we HAD to be. Josh, Chris and myself were like the three amigos. We all came from different families, but alike at the same time. Abuse, drugs and all that jazz was something that we could all relate to. We were so competitive. Who was the tallest? Who was the strongest? Who could get the most girls? (depending on when I release this, this probably is a current competition.)

 

Josh was The Geek. Glasses. Fitted pants. The music head. Real artsy. (You know all artsy people are weird.)  Chris was The Athlete. Boy was FAST. Like REALLY fast.  We KNEW Chris was going to the Pros! I thought I was going to the Pros too in little league… SIKE!

 

I did play little league, but I didn’t love it. I was just “that dude”. I was the Cool Kid out of the bunch. (Did we ever vote? NO… But this is my story, and I’m sticking to it.) Yea, I was the coolest one. Definitely got in the most trouble though. I was the ring leader. But, to my/our defense, I talked us OUT of just as much trouble as I got us into...

THE END

(Clap, clap)  That's it!  Just a sample.  Do you want to keep reading?  Let me know.  Be honest! 

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 1 of Who Knows)

I realized a lot while on my paid New Year’s vacation. Number one, that I have restricted by talents. My comfort zone is ummm… black people. #allbad. I host step shows, talent shows, and comedy shows. And most of those are on college campuses.  For this particular gig, I wasn’t sure of the demographics of the crowd. It was introduced to me like this…

“Is this Jay Dukes”?

“Yes…”

“This is Mr. Thompson. Bruh, I would really like you to start expanding beyond South Carolina and also focus on broadening your audience”.

“Aight. What’s up”?

“I’m working with The Capital One Bowl and for The Pre-Parade Grand Stand, I am responsible for providing urban entertainment for this event”.

“Really? What you need from me”?

“I want you to come down with my company. You will be the emcee for an up and coming pop artist, Jenna Rose. She is a Youtube Sensation with over 20 million hits. You will keep the crowd engaged and introduce her”.

“Hmm…” *Confused face* “Listen, No Fluff. Give it to me straight bruh. No chaser”!

*Chuckle* “Bruh, this is an opportunity for you to gain exposure on national television. In front of SEVERAL hundreds sponsors! And more importantly, an opportunity to network and do more events outside of your market”.

“Sounds good bruh”.

“And I’m taking care of your travel, rooms and I’m paying you $***.00 to do the event”. *silence* “Hello…? Hello…? Are you there”?

“Yes sir. My apologies. I was already packing”!

Bringing in The New Year in Orlando?! WAY better move than South Carolina. And I negotiated to bring my brother, Josh and security/cuzzo Nebo. The 29^th of December to January 3^rd without going in my pockets? AND… I get to rock the mic? Let’s Gooo!!!!

However, something I didn’t like was plans kept changing. Details were up in the air too much. I felt that I set my expectations too high. But it was kind of my fault. He was telling me stories of previous trips he went on with other artists. But, he wasn’t necessarily telling me what the move was for this particular trip. For example, “When we travel, we take two company Yukons and I need to bring in another driver. We can also can take a helicopter to the resort, depending on traffic, if we want.

Wow… This is going to be cool!

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 2 of Who Knows)

“What time are we leaving Mr. Thompson?  I actually have to work till six, then we are coming down”.

“That’s cool. We will leave from Atlanta at 8:30pm”.

“Aight, we’ll push it. No problem”.

Let me tell yall… Work went by sooooo slow. Happens every time when you have somewhere to be.

5:15...

5:35...

5:36...

5:45...

It was terrible people.

Finally!!!! 6 o’clock. Cuzzo @SoloDoloNebo was already in Greenville ready to go. I threw my bags in the car, dapped up my brother @TaylorMadeMills and we were ready to ride. I called Mr. Thompson and told him we stopped to eat. He replied, “Take you time, because like I said, we’re not leaving until 10 o’clock”. I thought, “Huh? You said 8:30pm”. But… I just said, “Ok”. And then he asked, “Do you all have a lot of bags”? *confused again* “If we are taking two company Yukons, that shouldn’t matter. That’s plenty of room. But I said, “No Sir”.

“Ok. Let me know when you all get closer”.

An hour down the road we stopped to get gas. I called Mr. Thompson, “The GPS says we got about another hour and thirty”. He replied, “Take your time. Like I said, “We’re not leaving till 12:15am”. WHOA! WHAT?! Ummm… “Ok”.

We got to Atlanta at 9 o’clock. But now… We weren’t leaving until 1:00AM! C’mon dude. WTF is going on? And to top things off, this was the last convo…

“Mr. Thompson, we are here”.

“Well, like I said, we’re not leaving till 1:00AM. And two people who were going on the trip won’t get to make it. So instead of taking two of our company Yukons we just decided to rent a van”.

“Oh… Ok”.

Man… This better not be a caravan or a Town and Country. A blacked out twelve passenger van is fine. I will have a whole seat to myself. We went to get something to eat to kill time. Came back and guess what type of van is waiting on us. A motha f-in’ TOWN and COUNTRY!!!! Really? Really sir? I don’t know how to feel. We went from a helicopter to two company Yukons with chauffeurs, to a Town and Country with him driving! Smh…

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 3 of Who Knows)

All packed up… Let’s ride. My cuzzo @SoloDoloNebo snores sooooo loud. Sounds like somebody cutting the grass or chopping down trees. But I guess I slept hard AF because I was knocked OUT! But him and @TaylorMadeMills had the nerve to get upset with me! “C’mon man! We have to take turns or something. We don’t know this dude. We all can’t go to sleep. We could end up on the side of the highway fighting for our manhood”! My response, “Shhh… SHUT UP! That’s why I brought ya big azz along! GOODNIGHT”! ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz… 

Boyyy… He was MAD! Lol… If looks could kill. *Jezzy laugh* Yall would have thought that I took some food off of his plate while he was saying his Grace! But I thought it was funny! *shrugs*

Mr. Thompson stopped three times to rest. Not just any type of stretching your legs type rest. But kicking the seat back sleep type rest. My legs are locking up and I’m just ready to get out the car. Tell me why it took us TEN hours to get to Orlando from ATLANTA!

Whoa Dere!

We finally got to the property office where we were staying at. Still in the car. An hour passed and guess where we’re at now?! STILL in the CAR! What’s going on???? “How you gon’ hate from outside of the house? We can’t even get in!!!!” *Chris Brown Voice* Finally, Mr. Thompson comes out of the office. And I really wish I could tell yall that he came out with a smile on his face and keys in his hand. But… NO!!!! It was 2:00pm and now the house won’t be ready untill 4:00pm. Awwww man…

What do we do now? NOTHING AT ALL! Sit in the f-in’ car and complain! Really started to piss me off! I have to get better with this patience thing! At this point I’m trying my best not to spaz! Good thing is… I still have my phone. So, I can tweet to pass time! WTF? It’s dead?! B*&^%! This m f-er @TaylorMadeMills took my phone off the charger and FORGOT to put it back on!

For the people who know me, it takes a lot to get me upset! But not having my phone did it! I tried my best to go back to sleep. Because if not, I would have done or said something that I didn’t mean! I love this dude, but c’mon man, my phone is the ONLY lady in my life right now and you let her die?! She didn’t do ANYTHING to you! I wanted to cry!

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 4 of Who Knows)

3:59PM! We go back to the property office and get the keys to ONE house! He actually rented TWO villas, but one still wasn’t ready! And the one they had ready was for Youtube Sensation Jenna Rose. Whoa! Wait! We STILL don’t have a house yet? EXACTLY! And now it was time to go get Jenna and her fam from the airport. Kill me now…

Jenna Rose, age 13, comes from an upperclass, Jewish family out of Long Island, New York. She was traveling with her parents, stylist, background dancers and Grandma Rose! Grandma Rose was HILARIOUS! No lie, she was about 100 years old and looked every bit of it! She smoked that ooo weee, and she popped bottles. Told me in her prime she would do Vodka straight and chase it with beer! She acted young AF! Probably the coolest grandma EVER! And she would curse you out, no problem! Mr. Thompson introduced us and she told me, “I don’t shake hands”! I moved in for a hug slowly… But I got it! “Oooo…he gave me a hug! I like him”! Aight Grandma, watch out! I like Cougars! (wink) He also introduced Josh, then Nebo!

“Grandma Rose, this is Nebo”!

“Whhaaatttt”?

“This is NEBO”!

“HHHUUUHHH…”?

“Nebo! Like knee *pointing to knee* and bo *pointing to elbow*”

“WTF? KneeElbow? Who names their kid KneeElbow? Was ya matha’ drunk at the hospital? That’s ridiculous”!

We just threw up our hands… smh… She wasn’t going to get it. She called @SoloDoloNebo “KneeElbow” for the rest of the trip. #toofunny!

Finally we could check into our villa. But now we on #TeamNoSleep because in thirty minutes we had to get dressed and ready for rehearsal! #WACK! But what worried me was WTF am I rehearsing for? Just tell me what to say! But this was NOT a joke! We really had rehearsal. He rented a dance studio and everything! I know one thing, I am a HOST! Really confused why I am going to rehearsal. If this man starts teaching me dance steps, I’m LEAVING! Taking off! Catching a bus back! Keep the money! #NoLie!

Before I knew it, I was saying, “Boom Cat” and “One and two and three and…” This ish #cray! And being that I AM Black. And the stereotype is that all black people can dance; why not make me make a fool of myself in front of these upperclass white people! Oh? That’s what you’re paying me for? Oh… Ok… Great! Cool! *cues music* “Wobble baby… Wobble baby… Wobble baby… Wobble… Get in dere”! YES! YES!

Cuzzo @SoloDoloNebo’s big ass gets up there with me because we had to teach Jenna’s background dancers the moves. I was doing it so sloppy. Just because this is practice! Cuzzo jiggin and all type of ish. Grandma Rose sat us both down after, “Mr. Dukes, you suck! You come in LAST! KneeElbow you were good! Very good! You were out there moving and I really enjoyed it. But you, Mr. Dukes smh… Awww… Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be down about it. But the sad part is… *cough, cough* I’m SERIOUS! Goodnight”!

On the way back to the villa, I’m spazin because this is my first gig COMPLETELY out of my market and opposite of the normal demographics I deal with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not scared. I have NEVER been afraid to get in front of people. But one thing I’m MAJOR on, is being prepared. I might stress a little bit; but that time of preparation and prayer calms me. However, this is the challenge: how do I prepare for a crowd that is completely foreign to me? We didn’t even go to an event, before this one, in the area to at least see what songs they rock with or stuff like that. Every area is different! As a host, I must cater to, and entertain, the crowd. It’s important to research. Very important! Or you could possibly fail! Dun… Dun… Dunnnn…

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 5 of Who Knows)

Saturday, 7:05am

Mr. Thompson, “Alright. Everybody up! We need to leave in an hour”!

Pause: I’m trippin. I forgot to introduce Mattie. She’s a very talented singer/songrwriter. All-American track athlete from North Carolina State University. Real cool people. She was on the trip with us! Play:

Now we are on the way to The Fresh From Florida Parade. One thing I hate about big cities is that it takes SOOO long to get places! We were supposed to be there at 8:45pm for sound check and now we’re running late! Smh…

Mr. Thompson called the lady, “Hey, traffic is backed up, but we are on the way”! When we got there they met Jenna with a golf cart and police escort. Notice I said they met Jenna, not met US! At this point I finally accepted that this trip/gig wasn’t tailored for me. This was for me to support Jenna Rose! Do I hate on this young talent or just *shrug* and get paid? *cues music* “All about The Benjamins baby…” Of course the money! I can definitely put my pride aside. As long as I’m getting PAID!

But there still was a hold-up. When we got there, with the golf cart and Police escort wating; Jenna had to use the bathroom. We weren’t even a mile away from the performance area, and she was coolin. But to throw their weight around, her parents insisted that she had to go NOW!!!! “They can wait! This is about JENNA”! Oh… ok…  I can't knock them for that though. 

And this is the time to be COMPLETELY honest with yall! Yall remember how this gig was pitched to me? NATIONAL TELEVESION! Hundreds of Sponsors! And President Obama flying down just to see me?! WHAT?! Man… Nothing like that AT ALL! Where we performed was The Grand Stand Area. It was mostly parents and people who had money to blow on buying a seat versus standing on the street! Awww man… Guy really had my hopes up! And it probably was a couple sponsors in the area. PROBABLY… But *shrugs* Ma Dukes tells me all the time, “Rock this show like this is the BIGGEST show of your career. You never know who’s watching”. I definitely had to hear her voice to avoid getting into my “celebrity status” mood. Especially looking at about a hundred people. I do shows in front of thousands. BUT… It’s not in my market! It’s on tv! And it’s a different demographic! DO IT! And do your BEST!

First part went cool!  I got the crowd hype and introduced her.  Easy money...

Now, this second one… *side eye* Guys… I wasn’t really feeling this AT ALL! Once Jenna was finished performing, they suggested to rock with the crowd and do the Wobble. And the way it was hyped up like it was my song! That’s what disturbed me! AGAIN, this is NOT my market. And these people are seeing me for the first time! Some people may know this song and some may not. So… it was like, “Go Jay Dukes, Go Jay Dukes, GO”! Man… I felt like Dave Chapelle! 4REAL! Lol… Take a Look…

^^^^ See? Wow…

And now that that’s over, even though my contract says I will get the rest of my money BEFORE the show, it’s ok to pay me now. Hey… Hey… Ummm… Mr. Thompson? Where are you going, sir?

“Josh get my bag! AEY NEBO!!!!”

Was My New Year’s Better Than Yours? (Part 6 of who knows)

Man… I definitely didn’t like the fact that I still haven’t received all of my money. Now, an up front deposit wasn’t the problem. He did what he promised. He even dropped the money in my account. But sir, why are you paying my other half in several different installments? And not regular installments like $200, $200, $150. Like this, “Hey… Bruh, I’m going to give you $28 dollars now and run by the ATM when we leave. Awww man… I passed the ATM. I will give you the rest in the morning”! “Ummm… Yes sir”. And Mr. Thompson even tried to trade with me, “Hey… Bruh, we going to stop by this Burger King. Don’t worry about your meal. I’m going to buy us all some burgers and that $10 will just come out of your fee”. HELL NO! You are using the coupons that they gave us at The Parade! Really sir? Really? I want ALL my money! Are you saying lunch on you? That’s fine, but that ain’t coming out of MY FEE! I got bills! 

Later that night, we went to THE BEACHAM! It’s officially New Year’s Eve people! Ready to wild owt and get drunk and bring in The New Year! *side eye for those who know me. Lol* Downtown Orlando looked like Bourbon Street!

We get to the club and Mr. Thompson tells Security, “Yes, I’m Mr. Thompson. I have Jay Dukes with me”. Walkie talkies started going CRAZY… “Yes, Mr. Thompson is here. Yes sir. Yes sir”. The owner comes out to greet us!

“Mr. Thompson, good to finally get to meet you”!

“Same here. And this is Jay Dukes! We are happy to be here”!

They whisper about something… Then Mr. Thompson turns back to me, “Jay, since you are the personality, where would you like to go? The private VIP or on the stage”?

“Of course, THE STAGE”!

A security guard walks us all the way to the front! “Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me! Pardon me!” That was super cool. If you follow any of my tweets, I told yall we were flexxin on these boys in Orlando.

And we WERE doing just that! NO LIE! We poppin bottles. We had our own waitress who looked like Kim Khardasian’s lil’ cousin and free lap dances! The best night of MY LIFE!!!! I was coolin. Just posted up wanting to be seen and got on the mic a little. But Mattie, Josh and Nebo went INNNNN!!!! So terrible. I have a couple other alcoholic friends that would have had a blast too. (Thinking of her right now… *shrugs*.)

Mattie and Nebo were cool, but yall don’t know my brother Josh! Follow him at @TaylorMadeMills. He’s A CLOWN! Love this guy though. He’s a producer. Makes some of the hottest beats EVER! And has been doing it forever. Very artistic. Yall know all artsy people are weird! I remember when I used to rap, he would make beats at the lunch table with a pen. He #stupidnice. But just looking at him, he thinks he’s a model. BAHAHAHAHA… Anyway, that’s beside the point. I will NEVER, NEVER EVER EVER allow him to drink again. He turns into a different person. I will not go into detail because I don’t want him to get stabbed… *shrugs*

We left the club about 3:30am. Orlando STILL live like it was midnight. Streets were FLOODED! On the way back to the villa SUUUMMMBBBOOODDDYYYY *K. Hart Voice* couldn’t control their liquor. I won’t name ANY names! But it wasn’t pretty. Nebo carrying people in the house and ish. So disappointed in these actions. But hey… it was New Year’s!

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 7 of Who Knows)

Sunday, January 1^st, 2012!!!!

Today was a lazy day! Trying to recoup from last night and a couple meetings. Meeting over! Was very productive. But now… nap time. Because we were going to Bob Marley’s tonight! A Reggae spot and an open mic! I love Open Mics! Let’s do this! Kind of nervous, but eventually I was TOO hype! I hit up my entertainment mentor, Keedar Whittle. “Aey… Keedar. I’m bout to do an open mic tonight. Give me some of your BEST advice please sir”.

“HHHmmm… Make them ninjas laugh”!

“Ummm… Thank you”! Just wasted thirty seconds of a conversation!

We got to the spot and they walked us in VIP style AGAIN! Two thumbs up for Mr. Thompson! But… I wish I had two more thumbs because Jamaican food gets FOUR THUMBS DOWN! BUT… REAL Reggae gets four thumbs UP!

This was the first time I actually appreciated Reggae. It was awesome. They had a live band for thirty minutes, then they played Reggaton for thirty minutes and went back to the band! I thought all the old people in there were funny. But they wanted to feel young again. So, (breathe, stretch, shake, let’s go). I’m in this thang in RARE form. Being wayyy… too flirtatious. Trying to hop on everything like a horny American dawg. Saw one young lady about 5’ 2”, curly hair, beautiful skin, cute face. She told me her name and that she was from Miami. That was enough convo for me. So, I grabbed her. She smiled but told me,

“I can’t dance”.

“Oooooo… yes you can. Just move to the left and the right”.

“No, you don’t understand. I can’t dance”.

“Dang… Ok. Be like that”.

And out of NOWHERE… A dude 6’10” comes and almost pushes me over and snatches her up and she starts throwing it back like Bim Bim Bim!!!! Oooo… that’s why you can’t dance. But at this point, I’m a little offended. Don’t push me homie! You don’t know me like that! I don’t play NO games! FOR REAL! <--- All the previous statements were silent thoughts. They never actually made it to my lips because of fear.

And you can’t blame me. Dude was 6’10”. And since she said she was from Miami, I’m guessing this was Lebron’s cousin. What I look like getting beat up by Lebron’s cousin? He’s 6’10”, I’m 5’4”. Not a fair match! So, I just avoided the whole confrontation. Tried not to make eye contact. I didn’t look up at all. I’m pretty sure he was mean mugging the top of my head. I know it! I could feel it! But… I didn’t feel the need to confirm that. Why? It didn’t make sense. Because all I know is that me and he’s stomach were cool. Eye level for me was his stomach and it didn’t seem to have a problem with me! So F*&^ it!

Check: It was ONE lady in there who looked at 35 in the face. But her body and the way she carried herself made her look about 28. She was BAD!!!! No lie. Long hair, hips, ass, headlights that were on bright. (Usually you can tell an old lady from her headlights. They might be real low or dim. Or one might be out. But NOOOO… Not this lady! She had them sitting right in the window waving to me. Of course, I waved back!)

One dude wanted her sooooo bad! But he made a mistake. He didn’t step to her. Number one, he was drunk. But *shrugs*. He tapped ME, of all people, ME and told me to get her! (Do yall see the mistake here? Now, he has given me the opportunity, and a PERFECT excuse, to make eye contact with this beautiful angel from Heaven.) He was FAILING! Because the crazy thing is that she wouldn’t come to him and this FOOL wouldn’t go to her! She kept entertaining him, but from a far. I whispered in her ear...

“Don’t hurt em girl”!

She responded, “I’m Cubana, Latina, freaky and long over-due. So, just like Shakira, my hips don’t lie. What are they saying to you”?

JESUS! *Beef it up Praise Break*

She threw it on me. Right then and there. Told me to give her my phone. She put her number in and kept dancing. Oh… And she happened to be 38. Nebo came and tapped me, “Mr. Thompson ready to go”. And she, let’s call her Shakira because I forgot her name, told him, “No… No… No… He can’t leave yet”. And she grabbed the back of my neck. I got WAYYY… to excited. My man stood up and I poked her. It shocked her and she said, “(Gasps) What’s that”? Man… it was so embarrassing. But I just told her in my best Beaufort voice, “How you mean…? I’m a man. I hope you didn’t think I was a poster”! (Made absolutely NO sense, but that’s what I said! *shrugs*)

But we really had to leave… BYE BABE! *kiss kiss*

By the time we got back to the villa, somebody was texting me! OOOOO… YEEAAA…

“Poppy, where are you? I need you”!

So, I called… “HELL YEA… I need you too boo! How bad you need me? Send me an address”!

“Need you like NOW! They are shooting over here”.

“*cough, cough* Shooting? Ummm… Don’t worry about sending me that address. You might want to get off of the phone in case you have to duck. But what I suggest is, you call me tomorrow and you can come over here. Where it’s safe. I’m not really feeling going to the war… at all. I’m sorry. Call me when you get home to let me know you are still alive”.

(Was that disrespectful? Because she didn’t call back. I know she didn’t die though because I watched the news.)

Was My New Year's Better Than Yours? (Part 8 of Who Knows)

Monday, January 2^nd, 2012

GAME DAY PEOPLE!!!! Cuzzo @SoloDoloNebo is going HAAM! Me and @TaylorMadeMills are like, “Ok… Whatever… Ok… Whatever…” *K. Hart voice* But, it was COLD! I wanted to punch Josh in the face because he lied to me. My brother goes to Full Sail University in Orlando and he told me, “Dukes, it’s going to be hot down there. You don’t want to bring any sweaters or anything like that because you will look stupid”. But the REAL reason he told me that because he didn’t want me to be flyer than him! #SELFISH! He brought all his Express hoodies and bubble vest and outshined me the WHOLE trip! Good job!

The following is going to sound comical, but NO lie, I’m giving it to yall STRAIGHT- NO chaser!

We get to the game and we don’t even have our parking pass! Understand there are tens of thousands of people there! We are weaving traffic, and dodging people, trying to get close enough to get our parking pass! Took us thirty minutes to drive two miles. So, being me… I started messing with people to pass time! Got A LOT of laughs!  People scalping tickets! One dude was about to fight and everything! #too funny

We actually saw one of my bruhs from USC, Zeta Zeta. He asked us where were our seats. But we haven’t got our tickets yet. We haven’t even parked. But being that we’ve been VIP EVERYTHING for the past couple of days, I was confident and maybe a little bit cocky in my response! “Ssshhhhiiiiittttt… Bruh, he gon’ to get our tickets RIGHT NOW! Where yall sitting at? Section 205?  Awwww… Man… That’s all bad. My man gon’ be back any second. I’m sure we sitting close. We probably sitting so DAMN close we gon’ need Motha F-in’ HELMETS boi. Straight up! VIP EVERYTHING! Right Josh? EVERYTHING! Right Nebo? EVERYTHING
We finally parked and started walking to Will Call to pick up our tickets. But HOLD UP! Red flag! There are two Will Calls. There is a “Regular” Will Call and a “Charity” Will Call. Why in the HELL are we getting our tickets from The Charity Will Call?

But hey… That shouldn’t matter. This line is just shorter. I know we got good seats. And we started walking… I think we got good seats… And Walking… Hold on, do we have good seats? AND WALKING… Our seats were TERRIBLE! We were sitting so DAMN high! We were actually sitting THREE rows from the VERY BACK of the stadium. So high I turned around to ask Jesus could he see! Everytime I saw the Goodyear Blimp, I ducked! I felt like I was in old Western shoot-out because yall know the Blimp comes by every three seconds! TERR-I-BLE!!!! Mr. Thompson kept reiterating that they NEVER sat this high at a game or concert before. “NEVER! This is ridiculous! This is an outrage”! I’m looking like, what are telling me for? I know it’s ridiculous. I know it’s an outrage. I’m sitting right beside you!

Cuzzo was MAD! Soooo funny! Because cuzzo thinks he’s big enough to talk ish and not have any consequences. And he was going OFF! No remorse AT ALL! “Hope I don’t miss any plays from sitting this high! But that’s what happens when you get your tickets from the *ahem* CHAR-I-TY WILL CALL! Fuuucccckkkk”!

And yall think I’m exaggerating? I’m not! We were so high, I nudged cuzzo, “FUMBLE! Fuck…” He took his binoculars off and told me, “That was the coin toss boi”! O_o

But closer to half time, Mr. Thompson just couldn’t take it! He left Heaven and went down to demand better seats! He called me and told us to come down. And these seats were cool. I kind of like sitting with the hood a little better, but hey I’m not complaining about anything free…

Then he leaned over to tell me, “Oh… and I have to get the rest of your money to you”.

“YES… YOU… DO”! Stop playing with my money… Its not just a notebook in that book bag. Why else would I call cuzzo SECURITY?! Jesus, keep us near the cross…