Disclaimer: This is PART THREE! You WILL be lost if you havent read one or two yet! #imjussayin. Oh... And This stuff really happened! To be honest, I tend to exaggerate on Twitter. But my blogs? Straight RAW! Enjoy. Welp... Here it goes:
Hopped off the plane and the FIRST thing I did was call my Lbs. “LB, I’m here, where yall at? Are yall at The North Exit? By baggage claim? Where?”
“Man… We still in DC. You are in BALTIMORE! But don’t trip. Get on the Metro. Take the B30 and it’ll bring you right to DC. You’ll be here in no time.”
“What? Huh? Take PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?!?!?!?!?!” *dun… dun… dun…* “Yall lying! Stop playing. Where yall at?”
“LB, I know you used to taking limos and ish. But you are NOT a celebrity to us! You are our LB! So no, we didn’t send a car. No, we don’t give a F*&^ if you mad. And if you are, SO! Go downstairs, follow the signs and take the B30 to get here! Real easy. Stop being a B&^%$!”
“LB, I know you used to taking limos and ish. But you are NOT a celebrity to us! You are our LB! So no, we didn’t send a car. No, we don’t give a F*&^ if you mad. And if you are, SO! Go downstairs, follow the signs and take the B30 to get here! Real easy. Stop being a B&^%$!”
And at that point my phone died. But God was definitely on my side because as soon as I got downstairs the B30 was pulling up. Everybody else was waiting on other buses. I got on and handed the lady my card. She had both hands on the steering wheel focused and ready to go like a Nascar driver!
She didn‘t even look at me, “We only take cash.”
“Yall don’t take debit?”
Still not looking, she opens the door, “We only take cash. Find an ATM and catch me when I come back around.”
“Do you know where an atm is?”
Then she looked at me with the ‘you must be stupid look’ and replied, “INSIDE!”
“How long before you come back around?”
*deep breath, long sigh* “About 5 minutes”.
So, I’m thinking cool. I’m going to walk in here and it should be an ATM… right… here… NO! Ok… Maybe… over… there! Ah-ha? NO! I looked up, saw one of those You are Here signs that said, “Nearest ATM is 3 blocks past Hudson News in the East Tower.” I’m thinking that’s not far. But WRONG! I was at the far end of the NORTH tower! SSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTT!
I took off! Hauling ass to the East Tower. I kicked one dude’s mop bucket and almost ran over somebody’s granny. But hey… Get on the right side of the hallway. Who told him to mop at work? How dare you? I get to the atm. Withdrawal… FORTY dollars… accept. And now, the fees! WHAT THA… F*&^???? The fee was $30! My total amount from ONE visit to the ATM was SEVENTY F*&^#N’ DOLLARS!
I run BACK to the NORTH tower! The B30 was pulling up. Out of breath I handed her the $20. She responded, “We only take exact change!” WHOA! C’mon man! The bus ride was only SEVEN dollars, but f- it! I was out of breath, out of shape and out of patience. “Man… here is a $13 tip. Get me there safe!”
I sit down and a weird looking dude gets on the bus. He asked the bus driver something. And the bus lady who first showed absolutely no emotion at all, turned into a caring soldier. No lie! She reminded me of Queen Latifah on set it off! She told the dude, “Get on the bus!” “Hey… where we going?” “To get your camera back!” Apparently, a dad and his daughter claimed this dude’s camera and as a good bus driver she went to get it back. She pulled up to the next stop, told the dude, “There they go RIGHT THERE! COME ON!” and hopped off! She was real loud so we heard every word! “No. Shut up! That’s not yours. Why would you lie, huh? Huh? SHUT UP! Nobody told you to speak! Don’t get on my bus again. Stupid!” And she smacked this dude in the back of the head in front of his daughter and walked away! GANGSTA! I felt soooo safe riding on Queen’s bus! #leigo!
We pull up to DC and I’m looking for a familiar face, car or something, but… NOTHING! NOTHING at ALL… I run into one of my bruhz and ask him to use his phone, because mine is dead! He didn’t mind. But he told me that I was about 30 minutes from where I should be! WTF?! But my Lbs said that they were 5 minutes from me! So, I waited! Guess what those were? LIES!!!! F*&^%$ LIES!!!! I waited an hour and still nobody. I’m stranded with no phone.
Keep in mind that I’m in DC. By myself. With a frat shirt cut up on the sleeves, fatigues, dirty shoes bc I planned on changing them at the hotel, and a book bag! To people that don’t know about fraternities, what did I look like? Another down and out HOMELESS person! I found it interesting that NO white person would let me use their phone! NOT one! No lie! I asked these two white dudes, “Hey… Mr. Can I use your phone, mine is dead!” And one wanted to let me use it, but the uncomfortable body language and piercing stare of the other told him “I know you are just visiting. But don’t trust him. He’s black.” And the dude responded, “I’m sorry. We are about to go.” I told the dude straight up! “STOP BULLSHITTIN! Look…” *I took off my bag, put it on the ground and kicked it over to him* “I’m not from here. I just want to use the phone to find out where my ride is. I got money. I promise I’m not trying to steal your raggedy ass flip phone. This is my phone. But it’s no good because it’s DEAD. Google me! I can't afford to go to jail for dumb shit! Please, Mr. Please…”
“Okay… what’s the number?”
*dials number* Riiiinnnngggg… “DAMN BRUH! Where ARE YALL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”
END OF PART 3
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