Disclaimer: I can NEVER forget this show. August 5th, 2011 goes into my mental calendar because it was a GREAT show. A MAJOR milestone in my career, because this was the first show EVER that I had the mindset of intentionally telling jokes on stage. So, not just rocking with the dj and cracking on people. I wrote out my material, practiced, stressed out about it, AND called people to critique me! Welp… Here it goes:
Thursday night I got home (still on full) and set my alarm for 4:00 am! Had to get up and broadcast from Anderson in the morning, which is an hour away. Alarm… set and Goodnight!
I slept STRAIGHT through my alarm. Seriously… I rode with Cricket to work. I woke up to a text at 4:45 that said, “I’m on the way”. And I blinked ONE time, I promise, and the next text I saw at 5:05 was, “I’m outside!” Oh… ish! I called her, “Dang… Cricket. I’m F*&^%$ up!? Give me five minutes.” I took a bird shower, brushed my teeth and threw my deodorant, lotion and other ish in a bag. Man… They JUST warned us about being late! Cricket doing a hundred on the highway, but The Lord was with us. We actually got there on-time, set-up and everything… Ok… Nine o’clock. Pack up and #leigo!
Got to the crib and took a nap. Pause: Sleeping helps me think. I honestly believe that The Lord speaks to us through dreams. Play: Got up and called my cuzzo, Nebo. “Aey.. Cuzzo. Show in Charleston tonight. U rollin?” “Man… Hell yea.”
“Bet.”
My brother, Josh, called me, “I’m still good to roll?”
“Yea… Be there in an hour.”
“Bet.”
Went to scoop my brother, and we were on the way to Columbia! Woot! Woot! Let’s do this!!!!
My brother starts our FAVORITE conversation: “I got females in Charleston! I told them you were hosting the show and they want to meet you!”
“Ohh… No…sir! I’m NOT going down here to get in any trouble. Get thee behind me Satan.”
Then he showed me a picture
“Ummm… Man… What’s her number? You know, in case we get lost.”
“RIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTT…”
Had to stop on the way to get some gas. And this little white boy, bout 4 years old, was kicking and screaming. Crying his little heart out. So, I take out my phone for evidence in case I had to snitch on anybody. Also, if he did anything funny he would make me a Youtube star. But he was really showing out. His PREGNANT mother tried to put him in the van and he’s holding on to the side of the van for dear life. At this point I’m concerned because something serious could be happening right now. But then… all that concerned ish went out the window when he took a break from crying to scream, “I WANT MY LIFESAVERS… I… WANT… MY… LIFESAVERS!!!!” WTF? U bad ass little boy! So me and my brother looked at each other, shrugged and said, “They need to beat him”. And we were back on the road!
How about a Hurricane was in Columbia! And it was raining HARD!!!!! Crazy… People on the highway going 45 miles an hour. But I can’t afford to follow behind them because it was already 6:15 and the show starts at 9:00. So, I’m driving off the highway on the grass passing people. Very… very dangerous. But it was a RUSH… Woooooo… Excuse me… VVRRRMMM… Probably the dumbest thing I did in a while. Pause: Not as dumb as the actions that occurred that time this prostitute gave us her card in Vegas. But anyway… Play: We start seeing Columbia signs. I called my cuzzo, “We 10 minutes from Columbia cuzzo. How do I get to you? WHAT…? Hello… Boy, you sleep?”
“What? I mean yea… I mean… nah… Where yall at?”
“Ten minutes out.”
“Oh… I stay in Sandhills now!”
“Where tha F*&^ is that?”
“I will text you the address.”
“Bet.”
I put the address in my phone and this Sandhills place is a WHOLE 40 minutes from 26! C’mon man… I thought about saying, “You need to meet us there. We cutting it too close.” But I couldn’t do my cuzzo like that… But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to!
We driving and it’s STILL raining cats and cows and sea horses. The average speed is 35 miles an hour AND… I-26 was backed up to damn near Spartanburg! #allbad! We didn’t have a helicopter so it looked as if we were STUCK! But nooooo… Cuzzo came to the rescue. We drove back roads ALL the way to Charleston! But the bad part was time wasn’t on our side. Still 2 hours from Charleston, it was 7:15. I’m kind of stressing, but it wasn’t anything I could do about. Just anxious to get out of the car. When we got TEN minutes away from the venue it FINALLY stopped raining! Ain’t that crazy???
We arrived at 8:45. I called Amanda Wise and this was the convo,
“What up babe? We turning in”.
“Good. Just go to The Convention Center and they will tell you where to go.”
“Ummm… Where’s my dressing room? Oh… And I need an iron, please babe.”
“Jay Dukes? Don’t play with me! You don’t get an iron when you show up 15 minutes before the show starts.”
“Oh… snap? That’s real. Hmph. Guess I will see you in there.”
We hop out the car. Cuzzo too focused on being pretty so he has his shirt still in the cleaners bag. And I told him, we don’t have time for you to put your shirt on! Let’s go! So, this linebacker looking guy is walking in front of me wearing just a tank top clearing the way. “Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me. I have the host here. Excuse me real quick ma’am. Thank you…”
We made it up the stairs and get stopped by the people in charge.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Jay Dukes.”
“And????”
“I’m the host. The emcee!”
“Oh… Good. Now we just waiting on the dj.”
Aight, bet. So I’m not the ultimate reason the show will be late. So, we were right on time. Not too bad. And ole’ girl wasn’t playing. All the dressing rooms were full for real. But since I’ve been working out and I’m not ashamed of any part of my body (ahem), I got dressed in the hallway. Why not???? No iron! I just thought, “If I rock the show like I practiced then they won’t even remember my shirt being wrinkled…”
Amanda saw me backstage and hit me with the, “You’re on in THREE minutes. U ready?” “Yes ma’am. Let’s do this!” I thought the dj was going to introduce me or something, but NO! lol… One of the Deltas walked me out and said, “GO!” WHOA! Like for real? Oh… Ok. “Welcome to The 25th Sensational South Atlantic Regional Step Show…”
(I really can’t put the actual show in words because it was one of those unforgettable experiences type thing! Thank you all soooo much for the love and support and the TWEETS! Really means much more than you will EVER know! If you missed it… TOO BAD! Catch my next one! All I can say is Tupac’s song needs to be remixed to say, “D…S…T… knows how to party.” Instead of California. Aey… and does anyone know where the pictures and video will be?)
After my shows, I ALWAYS show my appreciation by sitting on the stage and waiting for anybody who might want my contact info or pictures. And even though, I like to think I’m a celebrity sometimes, it’s evident that “I’m not a star… Somebody lied”. Because I only took about six pictures! Several people passed me and said, “Great job”. But yea.. Only six pictures. Lol… But trust and believe one day soon, my publicist is going to have to make an announcement, “NO more pictures people. He has to go!” Watch me!!!! Oh… And a VERY VERY important lady came by to meet me. To, “Put the face with the name”. Right then, the only person who would have made me smile bigger than I did would have been Oprah. (But I forgot yall denied her! I can’t wait till Oprah makes her OWN sorority and pays her members to join. #imjussayin. Lol…) In all seriousness, I can’t wait to do it again! Thank you all for the love. This could have very well been my best show to date. (tear)
~Jay Dukes qka Mr. Million Dollars qka Mr. “Hey… You Look Familiar”
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!
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